


Thor and Loki: A New Ending

by abygail_grace



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Better Endgame, Brotherly Love, Happy Ending, Loki is Alive, Other, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunions, endgame rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 13:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21374578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abygail_grace/pseuds/abygail_grace
Summary: Post- Infinity War. Five years after the events of Infinity War, Loki is still dead and Thor has declined into a deep depression. But then, Loki wakes up in Norway, at the top of a mountain in a mysterious, empty room. He's alive. Loki has no idea how, but he does remember every traumatic moment of his death. He finds his elder brother, they reunite, and Thor drags Loki along with the Avengers as they seek the stones, travel back in time, and defeat Thanos. However, there is one question that still needs answering: how has Loki come back?Endgame, but rewritten to be better. So, basically, Loki is back alive and he's there for the events of Endgame. Lots of character building and great brotherly love. I wrote for Loki's perspective, and my best friend (a lot like my big brother) wrote Thor's perspective. I can only take credit for Loki's half of this work.
Relationships: Loki & Avengers Team, Loki/Thor (Marvel), Thor & Avengers Team
Comments: 44
Kudos: 154





	1. I Woke Up Cold

Loki

The first thing he became aware of was the fact that he was violently cold. Then, he noticed light, glaring through his closed lids. It was bright enough to be nearly uncomfortable, and that, with the cold, prompted him to quickly sit up, throwing out his arms over his eyes to shield them from the sun that streamed through the solitary window he could make out.

It was only after his eyes adjusted that he remembered he was supposed to be dead.

Loki yelped and attempted to stand, but the only ground he gained was losing his balance from the bed he’d been lying on and crashing himself unceremoniously to the floor. He landed hard on his back, the feeling of cold wood rough against his bare skin. That was another thing he’d just noticed. He was entirely naked.

Stumbling upward to his feet, Loki wrapped himself in a defensive embrace and backed to the corner of the small, square room. One window, one small bed, one door, and one cracked mirror that was on the wall opposite him. He stared at his own reflection, which stared back at him with wide green eyes.

Cautiously, Loki stepped nearer to the mirror and put a hand slowly to his throat. He remembered how he died, but his neck was free from bruising, and overall, he appeared to be in relatively decent health. Perhaps a bit pale, but- then again. His hair was about the same, although the raven locks that fell to his shoulders were more in their natural state of being curled, softer and more textured than he’d typically allow them to be. 

He glanced downward and again felt intensely mortified at his current state of nakedness. Desperately, he searched the room, but there were no sheets on the plain bed, and nothing else in the room at all besides what he’d already seen. The only way out was either the window or the door, but it was highly unlikely that he’d been put into a room that would allow him to walk freely out of it.

Maybe it wasn’t so unlikely. He wasn’t supposed to be alive, either, but… well. Loki glared at his reflection again. Or was this death? Was this what happened when he died? This didn’t seem like Hel. Or Valhalla. Truthfully, he thought, as he turned his attention to the window, it looked rather like Midgard, and a part of Midgard he knew fairly well. 

Golden dust faded out over the open water. Thunderclouds darkened the sky.

_ This was your doing. _

Loki shook his head rapidly to clear it and resume his train of thought. It almost seemed like Norway, a region where he knew the gods were well known. Where he’d sent Odin. Perhaps he’d bother making historical ties between Norway and the gods if he weren’t so distracted.

A great hand suddenly wrapped around his neck and a marred, purple face bared its teeth at him. He heard the silver of his blade clatter to the ground and resonate, increasing in its volume and intensity along with the realization that he’d made a terrible mistake. The fire that threatened to consume the ship was crackling ominously as fate threatened to consume him, too. Golden metal gleamed. He was lifted from the ground, and the hand tightened.

Thor screamed his name, but Loki couldn’t tell him it was alright, he couldn’t tell him to stop, because he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t move- it wasn’t alright. He’d made a terrible mistake- he’d gotten emotional, terrified for his elder brother’s life, and he’d slipped up. Loki was dying, he was really dying, and nothing could stop it. Pressure built, he could feel blood bursting from his eyes, his mouth, his nose, as he whispered his last vain threat.

He could feel his neck crack and break sickeningly and he felt more afraid than he’d ever felt before- he wanted to scream but it was too late-

The bed flipped and threw itself against the wall, the mirror and window shattered, and the door flung itself open, bitter winds ruthlessly flooding the small room. Loki opened his eyes again, finding his vision blurry and glistening. His hands still glimmered and shone with evidence of his magic as he wiped the dampness that had appeared- the traitorous tears that made the room swim. He could still feel the remnants of his outburst pulsing in his veins, and he forced himself to be still.

He had to find Thor. If he was even alive, Loki had to find him. Even colder than before, he rubbed his hands over his arms and slowly forced himself to move forward, outside to whatever lay ahead of him. He couldn’t remember ever being cold before.

The sky was grey and jagged rock surrounded him. Thick grass carpeted the hilly landscape, rippling with the wind, and occasional trees swayed here and there. It was definitely Midgard, and he was becoming more and more certain, as he took in the environment, that it was Norway.

He nervously checked to be certain no one was watching him, naked, in the middle of the mountains. Loki looked outward and saw a sprinkling of what appeared to be homes, clustered together in a small, remote village. It was a far distance, and he couldn’t be seen unclothed, but if he could just make it there discreetly, he was sure he could manage to find something somewhere. There was no point in waiting upon the cold mountains unless he wanted to die again. As the icy breeze paralysed his spine, he decided quite firmly that death was not something he was keen on experiencing again- at least not death like this.

He began traversing down the mountains, occasionally having to clamber over rocks, once having to wade through a glacial stream, and several times stepping on something sharp that elicited a rather vulgar curse from his lips. It wasn’t the pleasantest of journeys, and it took him far too long. The town never seemed to draw any nearer, and he felt as though the walk was an endless torment, some enchantment that set him on an eternity of misleading hope.

His hope had almost withered to nought when finally, at long last, the village bloomed before him in a sudden and close presence, and he could nearly smile for how close the potential for warmth was. For clothing, especially. He still didn’t understand his own shivering.

Loki was hidden behind a large structure of limestone, observing the people that moved through the town. Something seemed off. The place almost appeared to be missing something. Abandoned was a good word, but only half abandoned. It was a wreck, some homes clearly were broken down and well out of use, and others still occupied with a definitive life- although the life seemed strangely slow. He shifted himself further out of sight. The whole town had a distinctively depressing air about it. No one said anything at all.

He furrowed his brow, uncertain, but decided he’d seen enough to stop caring about the miserable lot and instead, turned his attention towards his more immediate concern.

The house was only a distance of one open move across the road, and it had an easily accessible window. There was no vehicle, but the house itself showed a promising occupation. Food, clothing, and anything else he might pillage would most likely be found somewhere that was still lived in. He was getting desperate for all of the above. 

With one last check to ensure no one could see him, Loki ran as fast as he could across the street, unlocking the window with a flick of his wrist and slipping himself through the opening, hitting the floor hard. He launched himself up again and re-locked the window, probing the room for anything waiting to spring an attack.

Thankfully, he’d been right. The cottage was empty. He exhaled shakily, relieved that he wasn’t seen in this state. Loki combed his fingers through his hair, pushing it back off his face, before striding purposefully into the nearest bedroom and approaching the drawers. He pulled them all open and began ravaging the contents, throwing out every item of clothing onto the floor so he could see if anything, anywhere, would fit him. He was tall, by Midgard’s standards, but Loki also knew he was thin, and that combination was particularly hard to find.

He grabbed up the first pair of trousers that looked about long enough and pulled them up quickly over his hips, gripping them hard as he fumbled in keeping them there. He spotted a belt hanging from the back of the door and snatched it down, hooking it through the loopholes of the faded, pale blue denim, zippering up the front of the jeans and tightening the belt until it was tightly fit around him. He cursed lowly as he tried to work out how the strange contraption worked, and he’d just finally gotten it clasped when he heard a loud creaking of floorboards.

Loki whipped up his head, stole a large shirt and an even larger sweatshirt and ducked behind the bed hastily, pressing his still bare back against the mattress.

A gruff voice called out, sounding like it was right in the doorway. “Who’s there?”

The floorboards cracked again as the unknown man came further into the room. Loki closed his eyes. He heard low, suspicious muttering.

“My clothes…” The man was beginning to sound angry. He raised his voice loudly. “If someone’s in here, show yourself!”

Loki tightened his jaw, and he allowed two silver blades to materialise in his hands. He let the shirt and sweatshirt drop. The man heard, gasped, and Loki lashed out, slamming the man against the nearest wall and pressing one blade to his abdomen, and another against his throat. He bared his teeth when the man struggled and cried out, holding him in place.

“Where am I?” He seethed, breathing heavily. “And if you shout, I’ll slit your throat.”

The man, who had greying, dry hair and a weathered face, paused in his struggling to stare openly at him. “You… you’re Lo-”

“Stop it.” He breathed. “Answer me.”

The man didn’t say anything. Stubbornly, he stared Loki down with equal ferocity, clearly unwilling to talk unless he said something first. He tried pressing the dagger harder, with more warning, but it was to no avail. One of them would have to give in.

He lessened the pressure slightly but didn’t back down, averting his eyes. “I don’t know where I am. I needed clothing. I’m cold and I’m hungry, and your home was the first and easiest to break into.”

The man snorted. “What have you been doing to wake up naked and confused?”

“I said stop that,” Loki snapped. “I’ve told you what I was doing, now tell me where I am and I’ll be on my way.”

Shadowed, amber eyes flickered over him. They reminded Loki of Heimdall, and he tensed further. He’d never liked the feeling of those amber eyes boring into him, seeing everything he’d done, and this mortal was only bringing more memories into his mind. Ones he didn’t want to think about. Frigga’s eyes shared that same hue, but Loki couldn’t think about her, either.

The man contemplated him for a long while, clearly having some preformed opinions on Loki that inevitably involved a good amount of hatred. “You’re in Norway, trickster. Bit of a funny place to wind up, if you ask-”

“That was the only question I asked- I don’t need your chastisement.” He said coldly. “I’m going to finish getting dressed, you’re going to give me what I need, and then I will go.”

The man scowled.

Loki scowled back, pressing the knife harder again. “Deal?”

“If you’re planning to go to New Asgard, there’s no point- you have nothing to overthrow.” The man laughed lowly, continuing to sear him with his intense gaze.

He frowned, tilting his head. “New Asgard?”

The man looked surprised. “What- that’s not your scheme?”

“I have-” Loki huffed irritably. “No, I have no scheme. My aim isn’t to hurt you or anyone- I’m just trying to find out what’s happened.”

The scruffy man grumbled. “That’s pretty easy to believe with your little knives ready to slash me any moment now.”

“Fine.” He lifted a brow. “I won’t kill you if you promise me something. Let me take these clothes, allow me food, and then… do you have a… transportation vehicle?”

The man laughed annoyingly again. “I think you mean car.”

He flushed. “I knew what I meant. You’ve got one?”

“A truck, sure.”

“Is that a… car?”

“Sure, yeah.”

Loki stepped back, vanishing his blades in a small flash of emerald light. The man rolled out his shoulders and peeled himself from the wall, scratching his stubble casually as he scanned his eyes unashamedly over Loki’s torso. He self consciously yanked the dirty, white shirt over his head and pulled his hair out from it. He hugged himself again. Aesirs got cold. But not him. He was also Jotun. He wasn’t _supposed_ to get cold.

“Yeah, you really should eat a cracker box or two.” The man gestured vaguely over his figure. “Bit on the peaky side, if you ask me.”

He practised being patient instead of replying venomously and maintained eye contact the whole time he grabbed the yellow hoodie he’d dropped, and put that on, too. Scruffy didn’t seem to mind and nodded at Loki almost approvingly once he’d gotten it on. He studied Loki, and he recoiled slightly. The gatekeeper continued to hover in glimpses behind the eyes of the Midgardian, as did his mother. Eventually, the man nodded again and simply walked out of the room.

“Come on.” He told him, an almost amused tone in his voice.

Loki blinked, standing blanky for a few moments before he snapped into action, shoving his fists into the large pockets of the oversized jeans and following the man out of the bedroom. The man was in the kitchen, breaking apart a loaf of soft, white bread with a golden, flaky crust. He tore a large chunk and handed it wordlessly to Loki, who took it warily. Then, the gruff man sliced some cheese, muttering and tutting when he caught Loki eyeing the knife. He passed the slices across the counter, and he took those, too, dipping his head slightly in gratitude.

He ate quietly, thinking. He was glad the man didn’t bother him. New Asgard? Thor had to be there if there was a New Asgard located on Midgard. He was their king- and above that, his brother had always had a bit of a thing for the petty little mortals that occupied Earth. It made sense that, after Asgard was destroyed, he would relocate to Norway. For the time being, it was his best chance at finding Thor- and considering that was the only thing on his mind, it was a chance Loki was willing to take. He didn’t know what he’d do if Thor turned out to be dead.

What if Thor thought Loki had tricked him again? How would he explain that he was just as confused as he was? Maybe the atrocious outfit would be enough to be believable. Perhaps if he found the room he had woken up in again, then he could show him. If he begged and pleaded innocence- on his knees if he had to- then surely, his big brother would know that Loki had really died, and somehow, someway, he was alive and earnestly desirous to be reunited with him again.

“You feeling alright?” The man’s voice startled Loki out of his thoughts.

He looked up, swallowed.

“You look pretty shaken up.” Scruffy went on, something almost like… concern, creasing the deep lines in his face. “Really, you just woke up naked? And you truly have no idea what happened to you?”

Loki opened his mouth, hesitated. “I thought I’d died.”

“Well, apparently not.”

He picked at the crust of his bread, rocking on his heels. “Not anymore.”

There was a long, heavy silence, during which Loki simply continued to eat, trying not to make too much eye contact.

“You want to get to New Asgard?” Scruffy asked him, breaking the hush that had fallen between them with more of his teasing, conversational tone.

Having just taken a large bite of bread and cheese, Loki could only nod vigorously in reply. The man gave him a toothy grin and promptly pulled a set of keys from the pocket of his jacket. He put the food back where he’d pulled it from and beckoned for Loki to come with him. Still apprehensive, he went behind him quietly, outside the front door of the house. He was also still barefoot, but considering the man’s much shorter height, he didn’t bother to ask if he had a spare pair of boots. He needed help opening the strange door on the truck, and the man chuckled still at his apparent obliviousness to Midgardian contraptions.

Loki rolled his eyes and ducked into the vehicle. The man went to start the car but Loki threw out his hand, blocking the ignition.

“Swear on your life that no one hears of this.” He ordered, though he felt the lack of authoritativeness in his voice, which sounded weak more than anything else.

Scruffy squinted. “You swear on yours that you’re not up to something bad.”

He lifted his chin. “I’m not.”

“Then as long as you don’t pull any funny business, I never saw you.” The man agreed.

They drove without small talk or other such niceties, which, he supposed, was to be expected, given their nearly bloody meeting. The hardened Midgardian seemed to have believed Loki, and despite the fact that he hated being so easily read, in that instance, he was grateful for his true intentions being seen. In any case, if he hadn’t met the man, he’d not have so easily found out about New Asgard, and possibly for a long time. Loki watched outside the truck because he had nothing better to do, and all the while he tried to keep his thoughts under reign- but the purple fist never stopped hovering at his throat, choking him, forcing bloody tears from his eyes, with Thor’s anguished roar echoing in the back of his head.

He decided he liked the ageing, wizened man. He made up his mind when Loki couldn’t hold himself back- he cracked and broke. Loki began to cry wretchedly, but the man didn’t laugh, didn’t mock, didn’t do anything other than sing an ancient, Nordic tune in that low, raspy voice of his, the old song humming like a lullaby through the foggy morning.

When they passed a large sign that welcomed them to what was apparently New Asgard, Loki summoned forth his seidr and let it glimmer over himself, masking his identity in a simpler illusion than what he would normally conjure- his energy was spent and he felt a bit too emotionally compromised to bother with something more elaborate. So, Loki softened his more intense features- the cheekbones, jawline, and brow- he shortened his hair to a length just at his neck, lessened the curl, and lightened it to a deep brown, simultaneously making his eyes a plain, grey-brown that wasn’t so vivid as his bright, green-blue colour. He smattered freckles across his nose and cheeks and altered the shape of his face to be not quite so distinct.

Scruffy shot him a questioning look, and he shrugged, making his voice slightly higher, softer than the low menace he knew it could sometimes be. “You never know.”

“They still mad at you, too?” The man inquired, parking the vehicle on the side of the road and again aiding Loki in clicking the door open.

He shook his head. “They might be if they see me and think I’ve faked my death. For the moment, it’s better if they believe me dead. Just until I find my brother.”

Loki got out of the truck, about to close the door, when the weathered man spoke again.

“Hey, Mischief,” He called to him.

Loki locked eyes with the amber orbs, frozen where he was.

The man’s face wrinkled with something unfamiliar, something fond. “You’re not so bad.”

He cracked into a weak grin, ducking his head. “Don’t get that every day.”

“Yeah, well, keep up the good work and you might start to.” The man winked.

Loki wrinkled his nose. “Good work? I don’t understand-”

“Just- you know what?” He scratched at his beard again. “Find Thor. Stay true to him and I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I won’t. I have to get back.”

The man leaned back in his seat and started up the engine. “There’s that good work.”

Loki still didn’t quite know where Scruffy was going with that, but he silently bade his farewell and closed the car door, watching the man until he couldn’t see him past the bridge anymore. He turned around to face New Asgard. It was run-down and worn looking, a far cry from the golden kingdom he’d grown up in for thousands of years. The Asgardians that milled about the village carried the same, tired weariness that the Midgardians in the other village had. It was a depressive sadness that hung over the population, and it was unnerving to see Asgard’s people without the elaborate armour and the intricate gowns, the regal and proud aura he’d known so well. Something had happened. He had no idea how much time had passed since his death, since Thanos had attacked their ship that day, searching for the stones.

Had he gotten them? Loki hadn’t worked that out yet, but a dark suspicion was nagging him, and he didn’t have any desire to address it- at least not until he knew for certain what had happened. He roamed his eyes over the town, still on-edge despite his being disguised. He wandered about the village, awkwardly barefoot, and overheard snippets of conversation as he went. The more he heard, the more he was inclined to think that Thanos had won. Half the universe was gone- they’d vanished into nothing. The Avengers had failed. Thor, their king, he’d failed them, too.

No one saw Thor, and as rumours had it, he never came out of his isolated little cabin at the top of the village. So his brother was there, he was alive- but which house was it?

Loki had just started searching, eliminating which ones Thor would be unlikely to live in as best as he could, when a large shadow passed over the town, startling several of the Asgardians to cry out in bewilderment. It was a ship, and it landed just at the edge of the cobblestone bridge Loki was near. He watched the ship intently. Whoever it was was likely headed to see Thor, so he needed to keep a close watch. To his great horror, the Hulk stomped from the opened ramp of the ship, along with a small rabbit thing that walked on its two back legs and evidently seemed to communicate. Loki was very confused when the Hulk began conversing in the voice of Bruce Banner, talking to one of the women, who turned out to be none other than Valkyrie. They had to be there to see Thor.

Stealthily, Loki followed them up, to the worst, most ransacked hut there was. Valkyrie droned something sarcastic that sounded like good luck, and headed back down the hill, while Loki watched from behind a large tree. He crept up to the house and snuck around to the side of it, where he slid down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. And there he waited, anxiousness gnawing at him the longer he sat against the wall, but he refused to get scared. It had been a terrifying day, to say the least, and he still felt clueless and in shock. He was alive again. But he had no idea how, or who had brought him back to life, put him in that room… none of it made sense. And the cold…

It felt like hours of waiting. Exhausted, Loki had given up on his disguise long ago. He was in his true form once more, hoping that no one would see him because he had no energy to conjure up any more magic. He was too tired. Loki rested his head on his knees and tried to remember the lullaby every time he would get stuck again, every time Thanos would close around his throat and seal his doom. He hummed it softly, thinking of the old man, of his mother, of Thor.

He nearly began to drift off, into a heavy slumber, but then the front door swung open and he snapped his eyes open again, scrambling on his feet for what felt like the thousandth time that day. The rabbit thing emerged first, jabbering on in an obnoxious voice. Then came Banner-Hulk, wearing a cardigan and talking to what Loki could only assume was Thor’s tall frame, though his hair had grown into a blond, shaggy mane that was as long as his own. It was shaved nearly to his head the last time he’d seen his brother, and Loki began to have an idea of exactly how long he’d been dead.

But Thor was getting further away, walking with an unsteady, uncharacteristically stilted gait, and he couldn’t wait anymore. He ran out from behind the cottage and screamed for his brother, hearing his voice crack as he shouted for him to wait, to turn around.

Everyone did, they all looked around for who’d sobbed for his big brother, and there Loki was, tears freshly spilling from his eyes, in his stupid dirty jeans and his ridiculously large, yellow sweatshirt, his curls haloing him like a soft ink spill that crowned his head, and to all the world, the God of Mischief was a lost child searching for the way home.


	2. It's Been A Long Time

Thor

Thor stood there, dumbstruck. He stared at the long, black-haired beggar that looked like his brother.

Loki? Could it be? 

Only one way to be sure. Thor picked up a small pebble off the ground. Staring at the figure, he threw the pebble and watched it fly. It hit the figure in the chest and fell to the ground. The figure was corporeal. Which means….

“Loki?” Thor whispered. “Is it truly you?” The figure nodded his head enthusiastically.

“LOKI!” Thor bellowed joyfully and ran towards Loki. Loki stood there with open arms. As Thor was running, he watched as Loki’s face began to change into one of concern. When Thor made contact with Loki, the weight gain began to truly show how big he was, as Loki was launched off his feet and landed into the dew-ridden grass.

“Oh, Brother, I am so sorry,” Thor said hastily, leaning down and helping his brother up. “Here, let me help.” He began to wipe the dirt and grass out of his brother's clothes and hair.

“Leave me alone,” Loki growled quietly. “Leave me alone, _ brother_, I’m okay.” He pushed himself away and began to compose himself.

“Well, you little weasel,” Thor exclaimed, bringing his brother into a sudden bear hug. “Where have you been? I thought you were dead.” Underneath his arms, there was a quiet muffled voice.

“Oh, uh, sorry Loki,” Thor mumbled, and he released Loki from his belly. Loki leapt away like a cat from a bath and began to gasp for air.

“Don’t worry-” Loki wheezed. “About me. What happened to you?”

Thor looked down at his well-sized stomach (he was sensitive about it) and back into Loki’s soul-piercing green eyes. He stared back intensely, waiting to see if Loki would blink first, but he felt Loki could see the small, weak child that he was now, and he looked away.

“You know, let’s not discuss me,” he said, waving his hand and staggered a bit. “So, ah, what’s new with you?”

Loki didn’t respond, and Thor was sure that he was piecing what happened behind that pale, still, contemplative face.

_ Ah, what does he know? _ Thor thought with a hint of resentment. _ He’s been dead. He can’t judge me. _

“Thor, buddy,” a low, mellow voice called as a large hand dropped onto his shoulder. Thor looked up into Hulk’s face, calm and measured, the complete opposite of how he felt now. “It’s time to go.”

Thor looked at Hulk, then to the rabbit (Rocky, Rachet, whatever its name is), then back to Loki. Loki was still staring, but he was beginning to shiver underneath the thin fleece he was wearing.

“Can he-” Thor looked between Hulk and The Rabbit. “Can he come with us?”

“Who, Loki?” Hulk asked with a bit of incredulity in his tone. “Remember when he tried to kill us? When he tried to get us caught by the Grandmaster? New York, Thor.” Hulk said as he dropped his hands to his sides. “Come on.”

“But-but-but-but,” Thor emphasized. “But, he’s changed now. He was mind-controlled by Thanos in New York, and the Grandmaster, well, he helped us escape, remember?” Thor watched as Hulk shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. “And, he… died.” Thor’s face fell a little bit. The guilt and sadness rushed over him. He started to cry. Then, he remembered why he was remembering Loki so clearly. 

“Oh, that’s right!” Thor exclaimed. “He’s alive again! So, therefore, he can come with us!” He gestured towards Loki, who looked away from him. As he gestured, he took a swig from his bottle of Asgardian ale (only the best for the person who killed Thanos, right?), and felt just a little bit better. 

Hulk looked between Thor and Rocket, then relented. “Alright, he can come.”

“Yes!” Thor whispered excitedly. He ran over and grabbed Loki around the shoulders and administered a small noogie. “Brother, we’re about to go kill Thanos a second time. You wanna help?”

Loki looked livid when he was noogied, but when Thor mentioned killing Thanos, he watched as Loki went from absolute fury, then a brief wariness that was quickly hidden, and he gave Thor a mischievous, murderous smile.

“I’m ready.”

.....

The truck driver was surprised to see Thor, Hulk, Rabbit AND Loki that he got out of his vehicle, walked out to Hulk, and began to yell at him.

“Yes, I understand that there are more, but-” Hulk began to reason, but was cut off again by the angry driver. Thor watched with amusement, then took another swig from his bottle. He gestured the bottle towards Loki, who looked at it with disdain, then took a small swig. His face scrunched up in disgust and Thor chuckled.

“Yes, it is a bit strong,” Thor calmly stated. “But you get used to the taste after the first fifty bottles or so.” He belched, then look at Loki more closely. He watched that, while it was cold in New Asgard, Loki was part Frost-Giant (he was adopted, that’s right…). The cold shouldn’t bother him. He also saw that his face was much paler and that there was the inexplicable look of fear within his eyes. Something happened to him prior to this. He wasn’t sure how his favourite brother got back, exactly, but he knew that something hurt him. Something made his brother fearful and vulnerable. The last time Thor saw this, it was when Thanos attacked. Right before Loki died. 

Thor turned and was about to ask Loki what happened. He was going to tell him how much he missed him, how much better things were going to turn out, how the sun was going to _finally _rise on them. He opened his mouth to speak, when:

“Well guys,” Hulk walked up to them. “I’ve convinced the driver to take two trips for us… for double the charge.” He sighed quietly, a hint of exasperation held within that sigh. “Thor, Loki, you guys can go first. You can have the trip to discuss… whatever the hell happened.”

Thor walked to the back and sat down on top of an old wooden crate. Loki climbed in shortly after and sat on the right side, leaning against the wall of the bed, just staring into space. The truck rumbled to life and began to drive towards its destination.

Thor sat there, twiddling his thumbs for a while, sipping on his ale. He offered more sips to Loki. He took one, but no more after that.

Silence. Other than the white noise of the truck’s worn-out engine and the crashing of the sea and the occasional cry of the seagulls, nothing. He still watched as Loki shivered. He watched as Loki’s chest went up and down shakily. He looked around for a blanket in the bed, to maybe try and comfort Loki. Realising there was none, he took off his large sweater and tossed onto Loki. He flinched as the thick wool hit him, then slipped it over his head and rested his head on his knees. 

After a while, the silence became unbearable for Thor. “Loki,” he called out. 

“Yes, Thor?” Loki responded quietly.

“What happened to you? How did you come back?”

Loki didn’t answer. He just continued to sit there quietly. Unnerved. Terrified.

“Do you even want to talk about it?” Thor asked. Loki shook his head.

“Alright,” Thor mumbled. “Just gotta talk to myself now. I once had a brother who turned into a snake. He once went ‘blergh’ and he stabbed me. Then, when we were teenagers, I got him a rock for his birthday, and then he used me for target practice, and by that-”

“I’ll tell you what happened,” Loki mumbled. “Just stop talking in your drunken stupor.” 

“Alright,” Thor clapped his hands. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“It was like waking from a deep sleep,” Loki said as he leaned his head back against the bed of the truck. “It was quiet when I awoke. A small, wooden cube. A worn-out mirror on the right side, a door and a window on the opposite wall to the single, solitary bed I was laid on. No sheets. The bed was worn out and placed directly in the middle of the room. There was golden dust hanging around the outside.”

“Father?” Thor asked hopefully.

“Quiet brother, or you won’t hear the rest of the story.” Thor fell silent. 

“I do not know if it was Father, but his abilities were involved. I stood up on the bed, trying to see if I could get a better view of where I was. Then I remembered Thanos.”

Thor gave a sharp intake of breath, and his open hands turned into tightly-wound fists.

“I remember what he did to me and to you. I remember the Hulk when he wasn’t reasonable. I remember his hand around my neck. I remember…”

Loki fell silent. He squeezed his eyes shut, barely able to hold back the tears. Thor clapped Loki on the shoulder. His other hand, he gently laid on Loki’s face.

“It’s okay, brother,” Thor whispered to Loki. “You’re safe now. Thanos is gone. I’ve killed him. You can relax. He’s gone.” Loki nodded, then his shoulders shook. Thor felt drops on his knees. He fully embraced Loki and tears came to his eyes as well. 

“You’re safe now, brother. It’s all okay now.”


	3. Better Off Without Me

Loki

Loki, despite his brother’s comforts, could not stop trembling. In Thor’s soft embrace, his jutting edges still managed to sharpen and contort it into something bad, something that contrasted from the God of Thunder with his own signature corruption. He gritted his teeth tightly, reminding himself of what he was. He may be immortal, a god, Asgardian- but he was also something else. A monster- the race of Jotunheim- the failed heir to the Frost Giants.

“I don’t… I don’t understand.” He murmured into Thor’s chest.

He could hear the rumbled confusion from above, resonating throughout the chest of his older brother, and Loki felt his stroking hand still for a moment as he tried and failed to process Loki’s meaning.

He forced himself to look up, to meet the electricity that made up the blue of Thor’s eyes. He shook his head and felt his lip tremble. “Why am I so _ cold?” _

Thor paused, clearly at a loss for words. “I, uh… I also don’t know.”

Loki buried his forehead against Thor’s shoulder again, and for the rest of the trip, that was how they stayed. Silence had fallen anew.

.….

He exchanged a wordless expression of gratitude to the driver as they exited the bed of the truck, but mostly, Loki padded closely after Thor, who, without his sweater that Loki currently wore, seemed even more obviously changed. What had happened to Loki, Thor asked?

Well, he’d died and woken up naked and somehow freezing cold five years later, but what in the nine realms could have _ possibly _happened to his brother?

Loki made a mental note of every observation thus far: emotional instability, a shocking amount of self-consciousness, alcoholism, and quite extensive weight gain. Not that he cared any less for Thor in whatever size, but- this was the God of Thunder. His strength, his rippling muscle and power were something of pride for Thor, and so for his brother to have such an absolute swing in the polar opposite direction was puzzling beyond nearly every strange quirk Loki had ever known him for.

He set a hand on Thor’s shoulder as he danced vaguely around… wherever they were and drank a long drink from his _ fine Asgardian ale. _If such foul-tasting poison could really be called that. Thor must’ve drunk most thoroughly in order to even manage drunkenness, because, by Asgard’s standards, Thor won every drinking contest there was.

“Brother,” Loki started, warily. “Are we not going to talk about this?”

Thor spun around to him, shaking him off with one of those ridiculous, fake smiles of his. “Talk? I don’t understand- talk about what? What, what-what-what is there to talk about?”

He pressed his lips together thinly. “You know perfectly well what I mean, you fool. Even you aren’t this stupid.”

“Maybe I am,” Thor grinned again and lifted the bottle to his lips.

Loki grabbed the bottle by the handle, halting its progress and causing his brother to hiccup in surprise. “Stop drinking this.”

“Or what?” Thor challenged back, defiance rigid in every fibre of his being.

Loki eyed the ale resentfully. “Nothing… I just… prefer you sober.”

Thor made a humphing noise and began swaying away to the massive ship that towered in the small, broken old town. Loki stared at it and took a brief moment to fully process what he was about to do. _ No one _ wanted him alive, where he’d be going. No one besides his brother, but given his current state, he doubted Thor held much of an impressive influence over the Avengers or anyone else they might encounter who’d even heard Loki’s name.

Wryly, he wondered if staying dead might’ve been the better idea. Not that he’d had a great deal of choice in either dying or living, during his most recent encounters with both.

Why would Thor be so damaged? Surely it wasn’t Loki’s death that had stooped him this low. Surely not one lost battle. But what could it possibly be?

Maybe the Midgardians had suffered. Thor always seemed to have an unfounded empathy for the petty, tiny race of mortals that complained far too much. If they’d lost much, then it was plausible Thor felt such a tremendous pity that he dropped into the depressive state that he was in.

Loki wrapped himself tighter in his three layers of much too large clothing. It wasn’t him. Thor, as sentimental as he was, wouldn’t lose it over Loki dying. He smiled quietly to himself. No, he was too much of a nuisance for that, and walking onto this ship was already sealing his unfortunate destiny in place. He could be taken captive again with that Asgardian muzzle and those chains, the ones designed specifically to block off his seidr.

“Loki, you’re coming, yes?” Thor shouted to him from several metres away.

He nodded tersely. “As long as you’re fully aware this is a terrible idea.”

“No, it isn’t.” Thor shrugged cheerfully and ignored Loki’s request to stop with the drinking as he instead polished off the entire bottle and smashed it to the grass.

Loki made a noise to express his disapproval, but Thor was already dragging him along to the ship, and he continued to internally mourn his resurrection. He was certainly going to die again. At that point, though, should he really care?

Thanos. A second… kill? So Thanos was dead- but they were meant to kill him again… hang on. That seemed unnecessary. Most unnecessary, and Loki had enough self-awareness to know that he was petrified of that encounter happening ever again. First, it was the torture, the mind control, the manipulation- bringing him as near to death as was possible before taking hold of his mind and heart and sending him down to destroy Midgard. And then most recently.

The hand crushed his throat again and Loki gasped, clutching at his throat. The purple face, the enormous smile that had been in his head for years- the last thing Loki ever saw-

_ Undying fidelity. _

He snapped into awareness again, fully intent on keeping his face devoid of any and all signs of panic. Abstract, near impossible thoughts, they began to possess him and it did nothing for the maddening shaking he couldn’t seem to stop doing. Thanos could have possessed him. Or maybe Thanos brought him back to life.

But Thanos was dead. But no- they were killing him twice? Maybe then it was possible-

No, it couldn’t be. Loki leaned against one of the metallic interior walls of the ship and attempted clearing his spinning head. He wanted Thanos dead. He grinned maniacally, gleeful at the prospect of murdering that loathsome being, but then his tremors intensified and he felt so cold he might freeze to death. He didn’t want to see Thanos ever again- more importantly- he didn’t want Thanos to see _ him. _

Loki couldn’t be found again. Was he still breaking? He felt his control slipping up and he’d only just barely gotten it back under his feet. He shifted and flickered his eyes around the ship, where Thor was gaping. 

“I’m fine.” He lied, and although he knew it was unconvincing, his brother also seemed a bit too drunk to really be able to interrogate him.

Even whilst sober, Loki knew he had a one-up on Thor, and he’d always managed to… well- _ mostly _ managed to avoid giving away his thoughts and feelings. But somehow, it didn’t seem like Thor was buying into even accepting the fact that Loki didn’t want to talk about it.

“Loki,” Thor hummed, in that chiding tone of his.

He clenched his hands in his pockets, where they were hidden. “Thor,” He replied.

Before either of them could try having their own way, however, the rickety sound of the old truck pulling up again began pinging off the walls of the ship, and they both turned towards the source of the noise. Hulk but not Hulk was comfortably seated with his knees up, though he weighed down the whole bed of the truck, and the rabbit thing was perched as a conqueror on his shoulders, with a smug look somehow making its presence known on the otherwise animalistic face. Loki wasn’t sure if he much enjoyed that little rabbit thing, or the combination of Banner and the Hulk, but comparatively to the rest of the “heroes,” they did seem less hostile. Even if Banner clearly didn’t want him there.

Loki worked his jaw, vexation polluting his emotions. Did he really not see what Loki had done? He had thought that, out of everyone, it would be Banner who might treat him as more than a villain. What of Ragnarok? Did he not see Loki’s actions then? What of when he attempted to save his brother and the ship- dying in sacrifice for them? Did that not matter?

He supposed that was one of the perks of his title as the God of Mischief. No one ever trusted him. But the mischief was only meant to be minor- it was humour and wit, little pranks and a bit of rogue recklessness to make things more interesting. He wasn’t Loki, God of Lies, or Loki, the God of Pure Evil.

Unless he was. He was a Frost Giant, after all, no matter if he was dually Asgardian or not, and the Jotuns weren’t known for their decency. Loki seethed internally as Hulk and the rabbit came on board, torn between either retreating back as far as he could into the ship, or tossing the idea altogether. Thor might be upset, but Loki was sure he could slip through his grasp and escape. He’d find somewhere secret to lead or to end his miserable life, and Thor could possibly be happily clueless, knowing that at least Thanos wasn’t his ultimate and final fate, even if Loki was a deserting, shallow trickster. The Avengers would do wonderfully in convincing Thor of that, Loki was sure of it.

He looked out to the waves and the cold of Norway that he shouldn’t feel. He’d nearly made up his mind to run. It was better if he did. Loki knew Thor was alive now, if a bit of a mess, but he was still alive and it was time for Loki to disappear.

The ship was starting up. The others were chattering in the background.

Adrenaline pulsed in his ears. The dock was closing, and so was Loki’s chance of avoiding immediate imprisonment when the Avengers saw him again. His chance of avoiding Thanos. His chance of sparing Thor from himself.

Loki was going to do it. He took a deep breath and one last glance at his older brother.


	4. Stay

Thor

Thor watched in horror as Loki began to run towards the closing door.

_ I won’t lose him again. _

Thor lunged, grabbed Loki by the back of his yellow sweatshirt, and threw him back into the small room within the ship. The door closed, the engines roared, and Thor felt the small push on his chest that confirmed that the ship was moving. He walked over to Loki and knelt down next to him. 

“What happened?” Thor asked a shivering Loki. Loki didn’t respond. He just sat there, staring into Thor’s eyes, like he was going to break at any second. Thor pursed his lips, then sat down next to him. He set the bottle down, deciding to take a second to actually give Loki his undivided attention.

“You know,” Thor sniffed while scratching his nose. “That was the most I’ve moved in five years.”

Loki gave a half-smile and glanced sideways briefly.

“Hey,” Thor said comfortingly as he pulled Loki into a side hug. “You’ll be okay with us. We’re the Avengers. Besides, Hulk’s here and Rabbit’s here. They know what you’ve done.”

“Well, everyone except the rabbit,” Loki quietly replied. A small growl from Rocket was heard. 

“They will understand your situation,” Thor emphasized. “They will.”

“Brother, if you say it’s ‘fine’ one more time, I will cut your tongue out.”

“Alright, alright,” Thor backed away. “You’ll do great. Just be yourself and everything will turn out…” He didn’t finish that sentence. Probably for the best, as Loki gave him a very terrifying glare that screamed violence and painful death. 

“Guys, we’re approaching the complex right now,” Hulk called back. “Get ready Thor.”

“And Loki,” Thor responded.

“And Loki,” Hulk sighed, settling back into his seat. Thor grabbed his bottle, finished it off, smacked his lips, and pulled Loki to his feet.

“Welcome to your new home, brother,” Thor grinned as his brother’s face went from contempt to fear in a second. “Welcome home.”


	5. Surprise to the Avengers

Loki

The spaceship landed with a vaguely worrying bump, and it only sky-rocketed his nerves. Loki felt the back of his head, noting that he still felt slightly dazed after being thrown back into the ship. Thor was swinging his empty bottle with as much confidence as he would have swung Mjolnir if it were still around, and Loki felt almost as sickened as he had been after what he and Thor had both come to describe as the New York incident.

He repeated the motion that was rapidly becoming habitual and buried himself more deeply into the comfort of Thor’s red sweater and the weathered man’s yellow sweatshirt that he was clothed in. He still felt cold. Both items of clothing were very large, but neither seemed to keep him warm. He noticed the even larger, light denim jeans slipping down his angular hipbones again, and he sighed, annoyed that the belt had come loose. He yanked the trousers up again and pulled the belt tight. He wished he had shoes. Loki, what with his clothes, his fluffy curls, and his lack of footwear, had practically no dignity.

That wouldn’t do.

The ship began to open up, exposing sunlight reflecting warningly off of a silver building which shone like a grand fortress- welcoming for some, but to Loki, it was the epitome of dread, and the stamped symbol of the Avengers only enhanced the whispering chorus that told him _ you don’t belong here. _

He hardened his expression and lifted his chin in defiance, determined to mask every possible aspect of himself to every single person who dared a try at cracking Loki’s enigmatic complex. That was his own fortress, and he fully intended to establish it within the fortress of Midgard’s mightiest heroes.

He matched his stride to Thor as the group of them, the rabbit, Not-Hulk, Thor, and Loki walked down the ramp, onto the flat, manicured grounds that were so unlike Norway. He darted his eyes about immediately for any signs of new danger and only found the figures of the Avengers striding out to meet them. Well… most of the Avengers.

Captain America’s stiff, all too patriotic stride was so tempting to mimic, as he’d often done to annoy Thor, putting on the accent and everything purely because the American man was ridiculous and Loki couldn’t help it. Internally, he could feel lime sparks of magic twitching, yearning to flood over him and mould the mockery to life. He resisted with tremendous effort.

Tony Stark, the man of iron, approached close behind Mr America, and Loki tapped his fingers together from inside his pockets, contemplative. He seemed alright if he could possibly manage to ignore what Loki had done in New York a few years past. He never did get that drink.

There was someone new, a thin, narrow-faced man who looked a bit light on the brain cells, and an absence of Natasha Romanoff (mewling quim, he remembered and partially resented saying) and Clint Barton, the old bird puppet. Loki wondered whether they’d died and nearly felt remorseful again when he found that he didn’t care in the slightest. He cocked his head and wondered how much guilt he was supposed to feel, and how much the lingering results of mind manipulation prevented him from those feelings.

Loki instinctively retreated slightly behind Thor, while Banner-Hulk made his success of the mission in retrieving Thor known, greeting the others in turn and then stepping back to show his brother, who had pulled a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and had them resting jauntily upon the bridge of his nose. It was no secret, the collective silence that hung heavy with surprise, confusion, and even a bit of incredulous denial. Loki watched as Thor’s shoulders rose with the tension of every passing second, and so, purely for his sake, Loki manoeuvred in front of him and strained for a troublesome smirk. It didn’t work. He tried speaking instead.

Nothing came out. Even to him, the grin lacked life. He’d only done it to distract from Thor, but then it put him front and centre and Loki truly had nothing to say. Apologise? No, that would certainly seem fake and poorly timed. But show no remorse and he’d be arrested and killed for… what would really be the second, but it was _ supposed _ to be his fourth time dying.

Captain America blinked somberly at him. Tony Stark stood with his jaw hanging. The new man visibly widened his eyes in what looked like intense apprehension.

Loki felt equally frightened. But- obviously- that wasn’t common knowledge and he wasn’t overly enthusiastic about letting them in on it. He did need_ somewhat _ of a reputation. He didn’t have as personal an encounter with the new Avenger, and so he chose to target him as the victim most eligible for a death-glare.

“I thought you were supposed to be dead,” Steve said flatly.

Loki kept his chin raised and his expression fierce, mute.

“You’re Loki…” The newest Avenger sounded breathless and halted a step backwards. “You’re the one who… you attacked New York.”

Loki resumed glowering at him, but his tongue didn’t stop being caught in his throat.

Tony Stark, oddly, walked a few paces nearer to him. “Green.”

Loki furrowed his brows, transferring his gaze down to Stark.

“They’re green,” Tony repeated, his voice pitching strangely. “Your eyes are green.”

Loki nodded slowly, looking around to Thor for help, but he received none from his older brother, who was standing so still and silent he almost seemed to be sleeping.

Stark snapped his fingers at the God of Thunder, adopting a stronger voice. “Hey, Lebowski- you want to help explain this to me? Um- _ all _ of this?”

Thor crossed his arms across his chest, but his expression was hidden behind the mane of blond hair, the massive tangle of a beard, and the large sunglasses he was wearing. Although Loki knew neither he nor Thor understood the nickname, it was no hard thing to guess precisely what it could be about. “I’m fine.”

“You’re really… _ not, _ and whatever happened to you, I _ am _ getting to it.” Tony countered, then waved a hand vaguely in Loki’s direction. “But first, do me a favour and explain what the crazy brother is doing here. First of all, let’s start with why any of you would allow him to come, and then moving more into the details of how he’s somehow not dead.”

Hulk intervened, hands raised to separate himself from guilt. “Hey- he just showed up at the top of the hill screaming. I tried to tell Thor he couldn’t come with us, but he insisted that Loki was different-”

“And not mind-controlled by Thanos,” Thor added, seeming pleased with his little contribution. “He’s good now. I promise.”

Tony Stark grimaced with blinding sarcasm, and Loki felt it stab through him. “Oh yeah, sure thing. No problems there. In case you’ve forgotten-”

“Mind-controlled?” The new one reiterated blindly.

Loki inhaled deeply, regretting every decision he’d ever made since being mysteriously resurrected. Maybe he could have stayed in the square little room. Lived in it, in a solitary, happy existence, where he ate mountain berries, stole the villagers’ bread and clothing, and lived his best, lonely eternity of life. He should never have come to the compound. His idiot brother- pulling him back onto the ship like that- why didn’t he even get angry that Loki had tried to desert him? Why didn’t he seem aghast? Thor was supposed to get angry- it was one of his finest abilities, particularly where Loki was involved.

Captain America pointed a finger at him. “Like how you mind-controlled Clint.”

Loki winced, finally able to manage something. “Sort of, but-”

“You know,” Stark was burning through him, with large, brown eyes that carried the heavy scales of calculation and a brimming vulnerability that piqued Loki’s attention. “Pal, there’s a really strong part of me that wants you back in those fancy chains and kept on a leash, I gotta be honest. But every bad dream I’ve had involving that day in New York- with those things- you… your eyes were vivid enough to stay with me.”

Loki wasn’t sure how he was meant to take that. Badly? Probably. He shook his head at the man of iron and shrugged his shoulders up. “I don’t under-”

“I’ll get to the point,” Tony went on, clasping his hands in front of himself. “They were blue. Shadowed by this weird… sickness and they almost... glowed. I hated those eyes for a long time. I still do- I remember those blue eyes. And those ones, right now-”

Loki pursed his mouth tightly, waiting.

“Those are _ not _ the same eyes.”

“You’re saying you actually believe he was under the influence of some form of mind control?” Captain America confirmed, arms planted on his hips.

Tony oppositely raised his hands into the air. “What I’m saying is… it’s plausible.”

“Well, that’s what happened.” Thor gave a pointless thumbs up, grinning around at everyone like he wasn’t disgustingly drunk. “It’s all settled now. Good.”

Loki rolled his eyes. This was ridiculous.

When he did so, however, everyone collectively tensed, as though his eye roll meant knives were going to come flying from his hands to kill them all.

It was clear to him that no one was thrilled, but upon Thor’s good word and Loki’s silence, they seemed able to at least stomach the idea of letting him come inside. He exchanged looks with his elder brother, but the one he got back in reply was obscured by sunglasses and too foggy to really be of any comfort. Despite Thor’s rather wasted walk, Loki was still sure to follow behind it, matching his every step to keep as close to the shadows as possible, both for himself and out of the mildest courtesy for everyone else.


	6. Difficult To Explain

Thor

Thor was enjoying this.

The Avengers were back together for the first time in five years. His friends seemed happy to see him, and Loki was back and joining them on their adventure to fix Thanos.

“Brother,” Thor grabbed Loki around the shoulder. “Isn’t this exciting? Another adventure. Like that time back in Asgard when we went to Jotunheim, where the Frost Giants lived, and we killed some without Father’s permission? Oh- and also like that other time, where you-”

“Thor,” Loki turned. “Shut up.” He stalked off, putting distance between Thor and himself.

Thor sat there, dumbstruck. He just got his brother back, and he was mad already? He felt a twinge of anger, then remembered the can of Modelo in his pocket. He cracked it open and finished it in one shot.

Smacking his lips with satisfaction, he followed the group, found a seat in the meeting hall, and sat down in the back corner, next to his brother. As the meeting began, Thor started to grow drowsy. He felt his brother’s eyes glaring at him to stay awake, but he passed out and dreamed a dreamless sleep.

.....

Thor came to when Tony was slapping him softly in the face.

“Come on,” Tony gripped Thor’s sweater and gave him another slap across the face. “Wake up, you oversized teddy bear. There he is. Enjoy your rest?”

Thor groaned and stretched in his chair. 

“What did I miss?” He yawned.

“What did he miss?” The black man with the metal legs exclaimed. “What did he- what did- what did he miss?”

“Rhodey,” Hulk soothingly said as he laid his hand on his shoulder. “Relax. Thor, we’re talking about Infinity Stones. Can you help explain to us what exactly the Reality Stone is?”

Thor squinted in confusion towards Hulk, then his face brightened as he remembered what Hulk was talking about.

“Ah, yes, the Aether,” Thor responded, reaching for his drink, but Loki grabbed it and set it back down, shaking his head in disapproval. Thor shrugged, then just stood there.

Every eye in the room was on him now. Thor covered his hands around his chest area, making the Ant-Man laugh awkwardly. Thor smiled, then continued to stand there.

“Is there something I need to be doing?” Thor chuckled slightly.

“Yes,” Steve Rogers responded with a stern tone of voice. “You need to explain the Aether- unless your brother can do a better job.” He glared at Loki, to which Loki shifted uncomfortably and looked down at his feet.

“Well,” Thor interjected, moving between Steve and Loki. “He doesn’t know the Aether as I do.”

“Then prove me wrong,” Steve smiled slightly. “Show me what you know about the Aether. Prove it to everyone.” He gestured to the whole room. Thor took a deep inhale through the nose, then walked to the screen at the front of the room.

“Ah, yes, the Aether,” Thor started off, taking his sunglasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. He felt a small dryness in his eyes, so he pulled out some eye drops and moisturized his eyes. After blinking several times, he resumed.

“So, the Aether is quite an interesting object. It was a creature that was captured and put inside a rock. An old flame of mine, Jane, touched this rock and the slimy, weird creature that was inside the rock stuck itself inside her.”

In the corner of the room, the Ant-Man had a look of awe on his face, while everyone else looked extremely uncomfortable, most of all his brother, but Thor needed to prove to Steve that he knew more about the Aether than everyone in this room.

“So, we took her to Asgard, where we fixed her, and the Dark Elves came to take it to throw the universe into chaos, and my mother-”

Thor froze. He saw Loki tense up as well. “My mother died that day. She gave her life protecting Jane, and then Jane broke up with me…” Tears were welling up in Thor’s eyes. He couldn’t keep going. Tony walked up to him, grabbed his shoulders firmly, then walked him outside the hall. 

“Take a moment,” he said with a bit of comfort. “Come back when you’re ready.” Thor nodded, wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve. Tony shut the door. Loki was right behind the door. On instinct, Thor threw the nearest object (his sunglasses) at Loki. They bounced off the chest, confirming that he was actually there.

“Come to gloat?” Thor sneered with snot dripping out his nose. He wiped his nose, then inhaled the remaining mucus into his nose. Loki said nothing.

Silence hung in the air.

Loki then started to walk towards Thor. Thor turned away, not letting his brother see his tears. He felt a small tap on his back. He turned and saw him standing there with open arms. Thor smiled tearfully and embraced Loki with all his might. He let all the emotions into Loki’s shoulder. Tears flowed freely.

“Always remember,” Loki whispered into his ear. “You’re not the only one hurt by Mother’s death.” Thor nodded fervently, then stood back from Loki, composing himself. 

“Are you alright?” Loki asked as he set his hand on Thor’s shoulder. Thor nodded. Loki smiled ever so slightly, then opened the door back into the room. Thor took a deep breath, exhaled, then walked back in, promptly grabbing the unattended sandwich and Pepsi sitting on the table and began to eat.

He was feeling like himself now more than ever.


	7. I Am Tense

Loki

Loki tapped his knuckles against the wall he was leaned against, watching the proceedings with mild interest. But note- only mild.

Romanoff and Barton were back (yes, perfectly alive), and currently, the alleged time machine was about to be tested. Barton was the subject, some blue cyborg- Nebula- was there, along with Stark’s friend Rhodey, the one he found out was named Ant-Man, and the Hulk. Banner-Hulk, that is. Loki still wasn’t overly fond of the whole conjoined notion.

Loki hadn’t any other clothes still, so the massive yellow hoodie and the dirty, faded jeans remained his sole attire. He still found himself shivering every so often, too. He wrapped his arms tightly about himself in his newfound mannerism, glad for the “time travel suits” they’d soon receive because there was a likelihood they would be designed for whatever temperature they so desired. Barton was the only one who had his, being the test runner and all, but of that position, Loki had no envy.

He twisted a braid into a strand of his own hair, smirking at Barton and his unfortunate position of nausea that was bound to come after his inexperienced experience with space and time jumps. Barton swallowed very nervously back at him, and Loki felt very proud of his victory, albeit his rather small victory.

Banner-Hulk began giving Barton the general idea of what would happen, and Barton stood straighter, steeling himself for the machine to be launched.

Rhodey, the man with the metal legs, spoke up suddenly, sounding torn between amusement, pride, and incredulity as he addressed Banner. “Wait- wait a minute- let me ask you something. If we can do this, you know- go back in time- why don’t we just find baby Thanos… you know… and…”

He gestured crudely, fists tightening and pulling with quite a lot of strain, and Loki got a general idea of what Rhodey had in mind. He grinned, unable to suppress his reaction to the fantasy of having a one-up on the oblivious purple grape, as they squeezed the pathetic life from him. If, however, that was how time travel worked, but it wasn’t. Sadly.

“First of all, _ that’s _ horrible-” Banner-Hulk began, and Loki audibly snickered when Rhodey shrugged without remorse.

“It’s _ Thanos-” _

“And secondly,” Banner went on. “Time doesn’t work that way. Changing the past doesn’t change the future.”

The Ant-Man chimed in, smiling like, as Loki had first assessed, an idiot. “If we go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them… Thanos doesn’t have the stones- problem solved!”

“Bingo.” Barton intoned flatly.

Loki opened his mouth with several ready insults, but Nebula cut across him, whispering dramatically- even by his standards she was intense. “That’s not how it works.” She hushed, glaring around the room.

“Well, that’s what I heard,” Barton replied.

Banner-Hulk spluttered, already visibly at his limits. Loki inched further away along the wall, ceasing abruptly with his rapping knuckles so as to draw less attention to himself.

“Wait- by who? Who told you that?” Hulk demanded of Barton.

Rhodey answered instead, tallying off a list on his fingers, the Ant-Man also contributing to the list, and it was then that Loki got lost. He understood none of the references the mortals were quoting, but whatever it was, it resulted in a mass explosion of arguments about films versus the realities of time travel, and everyone began speaking loudly over one another, arguing about what time travel was really like. Bruce began deliberating over the exact way the past and future self don’t combine into one timeline of existence.

Ant-Man shook his head, looking stunned. “So, _ Back to the Future _ is a bunch of-”

Loki stopped any further progression there, shaking his head. “All you do by changing the past is breaking a new future into an alternate timeline. You’ll create different versions of our reality, starting afresh with whatever you’ve done to the past. Instead of one reality, multiple altered realities will coexist as variations of this universe. But it won’t change our current timeline. The fabrication and stability of the universe would be compromised, maybe- but as far as what’s already happened here, reality remains untouched.”

“I guess that explanation is a little more concise,” Ant-Man muttered, adjusting his hat with a lingering tinge of disappointment.

Hulk looked affronted. “Well, excuse me for not living up to your standards of explanation, Scott-”

Loki decided that he’d had enough. They were all morons. Leaving the group to their arguments and their time travel experimentation, he chose instead to meander about the compound. To say that he was meandering aimlessly would be a lie, but- hopefully- a passable one should he be approached by any of the Avengers. Truthfully, he was scoping the best areas for an emergency that called either for escape or hiding. Danger might be an abhorrent addiction he oft entertained, but Loki wasn’t stupid. When it came to knowing the battlefield, he was better off safe than sorry.

Something bumped him suddenly, and Loki, thrown off-balance, ejected a blade and spun to face the threat. It was only Captain America, face pulled tight with obviously suspicious concern. His white shirt strained against America’s proud chest, and Steve Rogers placed his hands on his hips. Loki scarcely forced his restraint. The silver dagger vanished.

“Little bit edgy, aren’t you, son?” The obnoxious voice asked him.

Loki ticked off every clue of the body language, internally proofing his analysis. “I could say the same for you, _ Captain. _And I would prefer if you didn’t call me that.”

“Son?” Rogers scratched his shoulder. “I say that to a lot of people.”

Loki sighed. “I’m well aware, but I do have a name- if you could possibly bear to use it.”

“Sure thing, son.” Captain America replied heartily, his smile glinting with his own stupidly proud patriotism.

Loki stared, wondering how _ this _ was supposedly one of Earth’s mightiest heroes, with a skull so incredibly dense.

“Oh, wait-”

He flung up his hands and started to walk off, grumbling to himself as he went. “Honestly, how you manage to spoon meals into your own mouths is _ truly _baffling…”

Rogers spoke again, his hardened sound returned. “Loki.”

He dug one hand into his scalp, massaging his head in an effort to ease his tension and perhaps extend his patience. “Yes, Captain?”

“Do me a favour and learn to settle down a little.” He sounded as if he’d stopped walking.

Eyes simmering and magic boiling beneath his skin, Loki tilted his head around to meet Roger’s gaze again. “I never knew hypocrisy to be your standard.”

Rogers advanced slightly. “Hypocrisy? You mean the fact that I don’t trust you?”

“Trust is mutual.” He retorted.

“Forgive me if it’s a little hard to find any compassion for the famed God of Mischief, the one I fought, who killed _ thousands _ of innocent people.”

Loki advanced forward too, narrowing his eyes, feeling ice pierce his veins again, splitting his nerves into more shivering fits of weak trembling. He ignored it, as he had begun to force himself to do ever since he awoke in that small room.

“Forgive me if your upstanding patriotism and pride make it hard to find any pity for your ignorant assumptions that you’re always in the right.” His voice had dropped into something of a purr, but not the charming sort.

Rogers noticed. “You’re not helping your case.”

Loki chuckled. “Touché, Captain.”

Captain America didn’t speak for a long while. He folded his arms resolutely over his chest and finally replied, grimly. “So... I see we understand one another.”

“Perfectly,” Loki said, enunciating every letter to chips of ice.

“I’ll be going now.”

“Realms be praised.”

“Now you stay out of trouble, son.”

_ “Loki.” _He hissed, patience incredibly close to snapping. “And if you’d truly care to know, I’m having a quiet, aimless turn about the place- entirely free from malicious intent.”

Captain America shook his head, much like a disappointed father, and Loki hated when Odin crossed the threshold of his barricaded thoughts and attacked with all the bloodlust of the Allfather’s great battles of old.

Loki smirked and blocked out the pain by slipping into disguise, turning himself into Captain America, in full costume with the country’s colours of honour.

“Not this again.” Rogers groaned. “Loki- come on, give it a rest-”

“GOD BLESS AMERICA!” He shouted, fisting a hand valiantly over the star on his chest. “Ooh, I feel it now- the valour- the nobility- the righteousness of the American patriot- oh, how it surges within me-”

Rogers dragged a hand down his face, flaming pink with mortification, or maybe anger- and possibly both. “Stand down, Loki. It’s getting real old real quick.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki bellowed. “I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my own arrival! _ Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way? CAPTAIN AMERICA-” _

A deep voice resounded commandingly from behind him, cutting off his fake, Steve Rogers voice and his loud singing. Thor’s tone alone demanded Loki’s obedience, and momentarily, he stilled to listen as Thor said, “Brother, enough. Drop your magic.”

He had no choice. Captain America’s chiselled face filled with relief when Loki relented, but Loki was cackling to himself with wicked pleasure as he reverted back to his own form, never once stopping. He clutched his ribs with one hand and pointed a finger with the other, spitting out general insults just to prove he could. Thor didn’t own him- he could laugh all he wanted to.

Or, he thought he could- until his elder brother stomped up behind him and gripped him tightly around the nape of his neck and began to drag him away. Loki obeyed that, too, until Rogers had gone and he started to conceptualise the calloused hand around the back of his neck.

They were walking down the endless hall, gleaming chrome and reflections, and the further they walked, the more bad things started to come for him again. Thor looked angry, perhaps angrier than he actually was, but Loki began to wonder how badly he deserved death, how death would undoubtedly hurt now that he’d pissed it off so many times. The hand on his nape was becoming more pressing. It was tightening, and slipping around to settle above his clavicle.

All it took was one swift slide for that hand to switch fully to Loki’s throat. Thor was still dragging him down the halls of the complex, but Loki was vanishing away again, freezing cold again, and Thanos was the one holding his neck, forcing his digging heels to fall in line. The hand became larger, purple, and Loki stopped breathing.

_ You are ready to be broken now. _

_ Loki was on his knees, blood and spit leaking from the corners of his stitched lips, and crying only pulled the strings and split the skin further. Repeated lashes across his back were becoming too many for his magic to heal on its own, and his malnourishment wasn’t helping. He wanted to die- he let go because he had the promise of silence, of an end to his misery, but instead, he’d landed on this unknown planet, and all they’d done was torture him, mind and body. _

Someone was whispering his name, far away, but he couldn’t hear who it was over the noises in his head. The hand was still around his neck, and Thanos was still there.

_ Loki didn’t know how much more he could take. If he thought he’d craved death before, he was wrong. Death had never been a more welcoming embrace than it was now, and he’d give anything for it to just stop. He’d even be willing to receive the piercing of the sceptre, to obey every bidding of Thanos, to betray Thor, his mother, but only if this agony could end. Whatever Thanos wanted, he could have it. _

_ He raised his bound hands, pleading, the back of his raw throat burning with a muffled scream when his mouth involuntarily tried to contort with his thousandth round at sobbing. Thanos gripped his chin and held it up. Loki hoped his version of pity was death. _

_ Yes, I can see it in your eyes. You’re ready to let me in. Do not fight me, and all of this pain will end soon. You won’t even remember why you were crying... _

_ Loki’s chest rattled, and he focused his one functional eye on the giant, purple face before him, his blinded one stinging still with the deep scars and burns that ran through it. His broken fingers scrabbled at the rough, rocky surface as he collapsed sideways, to the ground, again. He heard the sick laughter of the strange creatures all around him, chanting something he couldn’t discern. His legs had been broken so many times he hardly knew to what purpose Thanos could use him for now, but he was willing to take the sceptre over any more of this. He wanted to die. He needed it to end. _

“Loki- look at me.” Thor shook him by his shoulders. “What is the matter with you?” He shook Loki harder by the shoulders, then again, and again-

_ Thanos slammed his shoulders back against the sharp wall of rocks behind them. One great hand was holding his throat and Loki, suspended in the air. He gasped and moaned in pain, everything hurt everywhere, and he was powerless to fight it. A god, a monster, a prince, a traitor- Loki didn’t know what he was anymore. No... but he did know. He was nothing. Thanos had proved that. He was nothing. The creatures surrounding them were chanting louder, more excitedly as he was held against the wall, eager and waiting for the death of a god. _

_ He stared at Thanos, whose scarred face was illuminated in the cold, blue glow of the sceptre, which was poised over Loki’s heart. He felt the sharp sting and then the blazing white heat, penetrating him, as Thanos drove the sceptre all the way through his chest. The bloodied tip of the sceptre hit the stone wall behind Loki, emerging from his back, the sceptre’s tip scraping it like nails on a chalkboard as he let out a true, full scream. It ripped open his mouth of stitches and his mouth immediately filled with blood, which sprayed from his shredded lips and onto his bare chest, which was already pouring out its own blood. Blood flecked across the glowing, blue sceptre, embedded through his heart. _

_ Still Thanos held him there, and still, Loki cried, shaking his head in denial, regret, and he made the effort to spit blood into Thanos’ hideous, evil face- just once. Loki wrapped his hands around the sceptre, still suspended to the wall, and he kept his working eye locked on Thanos in a glare he knew was filled with the utmost hatred. Thanos only grinned and chuckled, spitting Loki’s blood from his lips and back into Loki’s face. _

_ You have heart, Odinson. At least… you did. _

_ His vision went black, and then blue, everything around him vibrating with the same pulsing light as the sceptre pierced through him, and something was happening to his mind. Loki fought it, and he kept his fierce expression until he blacked out and sealed the dark magic, for the time, entirely unaware that his troubles were only about to become worse. _

_ You’re mine, now. _

“Brother,” Thor was up against the wall, and Loki held him there, a dagger ready to stab through his heart.

Loki blinked, vanished his dagger, and stepped backwards, away from the scene of his crime and his brother, the victim of his own lack of control. They stood on opposite ends of the hallway, both of them wide-eyed.

Thor rose slowly, his arms up in a show of innocence. “Brother- Loki… it’s only me. I’m not him. It’s just Thor.”

“I know.” He responded quietly. “Forgive me.”

Thor opened his mouth to say something, but Loki flashed his eyes warningly.

Thor nodded and closed his mouth again.

Loki needed to be alone. So, he vanished, disappearing to the quarters he’d been allowed to stay in, where he bolted the door and shut every window. Once he’d stopped being so cold, after a good hour or two under the covers, then he’d come down again and he and Thor would act as though nothing had ever happened. New Thor seemed to be surprisingly good at that, and Loki wouldn’t pass up on the opportunity to save his own skin.

He climbed into his bed and wrapped himself in the white sheets, freezing cold, and he stayed there for ages, with no improvement. At last, however, after hours and hours of lying awake, he finally slept. 


	8. Time To Use Time

Thor

Thor walked with the Avengers towards the time machine (the machine that breaks his mind) with Loki next to him. As they were walking, a thought occurred to him. He tapped Loki, gestured toward one of the giant crates and began walking toward it. Loki followed behind. When they were out of sight of the Avengers, Thor leaned in.

“Listen Loki,” Thor began. “We’re gonna go on this machine, right? We’re gonna go back to the time when Jane had the Aether inside her and we’re gonna get it back, okay?”

“Okay,” Loki answered tentatively.

“Perfect,” Thor clapped his hands and gestured towards the machine. “Um, I’ll head over and get ready. We like to have a small pep talk before we do our missions, you know. Cap likes to share a few words of Midgardian wisdom.”

Thor chuckled, but Loki remained silent. He looked at Thor with visible confusion. 

“You… alright, brother?”

“Oh, I’m fine, why do you ask?” Thor sniffed and wiped his nose.

“We’re going to go see that ‘old flame,’ as you call her, and you have to…” Loki paused, obviously uncomfortable with what he was going to say next. “...  _ extract _ the Aether from her. How do you intend on doing that?”

Thor hadn’t thought of that. He had just assumed they would waltz in and get the Aether out of Jane, no problem. After shifting from foot to foot, Thor succumbed to Loki’s penetrating and questioning eyes.

“The rabbit probably has a plan.”

“The… rabbit?” Loki repeated, dubiously.

“Yes, the rabbit,” Thor exclaimed.  _ “Yes, _ the  _ rabbit. _ He has a plan to get the Aether out from Jane.” 

“Brother, I’m the God of Mischief. You can’t lie. You don’t  _ really _ have a plan, do you?”

Thor spluttered, but nothing came out. He really didn’t have a plan. He was going to wing it. That’s how he’d always done it. Why shouldn’t that strategy work now? 

With no response to give to Loki, he turned and walked back towards the machine. After a few moments, he heard Loki’s lighter footsteps follow behind him. 

They walked up the stairs and onto Stark’s machine. It was of a circular shape. It had a glass floor, with gears moving underneath. Above, it seemed like many mirrors hung in the air, held together by thin metal pipes. Thor looked at the strange outfit he was told to wear in order to travel into the “Quantum Realm” or whatever it was. He had fallen asleep at that part. The last thing he remembered was the Ant-Man explaining something about time travel with Stark. Then Thor had another sip of his Asgardian ale, then all went black.

_ Good times. _

Thor smiled at that memory. When did life become so complicated? He was just enjoying his life post-Snap when Banner, Rabbit, and Loki suddenly showed up.

_ Loki.  _

He had sobbed for Loki. He had pined for him, for comfort from Thanos. For him to sit with him so they could actually be siblings. Not rivals, not Kings or princes, but brothers. To sit, talk, drink, laugh, play video games, spar- all those things.

_ Loki. _

Loki was broken by Thanos. That much Thor knew, from watching Loki having visions and from what little he shared with Thor. Tortured after he fell through space and time. Whipped, beaten, tortured into submission. He had gone through so much, all of Thor’s anger just washed away. He was still his brother. His choices were his, but still… His father had hidden the fact that they had a power-hungry sister for thousands of years. Is it too far to assume that Father had manipulated Loki somehow?

Thor wiped his eyes. He didn’t need that in his mind, going back to see Jane and Mother.

_ Mother… _

Nope, not gonna do that.

Steve was wrapping up his speech. Thor came back down to Midgard as the team put their fists in the middle. Thor recognized this as a sign of support and stuck his in there as well. Loki hung back. Thor gestured with enthusiasm, and Loki reluctantly put one finger into the mass of hands.

Thor clapped Loki on the shoulder. He was ready. He was prepared to go back with Rabbit and Loki. Back to Asgard. Back home. 

The machine began to whir. As the whining became higher pitched, the gears underneath the glass floor began to move. A small blue light began to glow. White light and yellow spots began to glow as well. The Avengers started to put on the masks to travel safely. Thor’s mask came on with just a thought.

_ Nice touch, Stark. _

Loki’s was on. And when Thor blinked, they were flying through tubes of blue and white. Some Avengers flew in one direction, others flew another. Loki, Thor and the Rabbit flew to the right. Right towards Asgard.

Right towards home.


	9. I Saw Myself

Loki

He rolled out of the landing, whipping his head around to ensure his past self wasn’t gawking in a corner somewhere- or worse- anyone else. He rose from the ground, taking in Asgard again. A mixture of resentment, disdain, longing, and loss filled him. For Loki, Asgard held an opposite nostalgia than what Odin had told them. For Loki, Asgard was the place. Not the people. No one of Asgard had done him well, save for Frigga and Thor. Possibly Heimdall.

Loki yearned his neck upward to gaze at the murals on the ceiling, ones he knew to be falsehoods. Lies, every single one of them. If they weren’t quite lies, then they were, at the very least, twisted truths.

He looked down the corridor, knowing the paths of the castle well. Further west was the great dining hall, where Thor and his friends had forced Loki to get drunk, for his first and  _ only  _ time, embarrassingly easily, too. The next morning had been a nightmare, but Thor guided him through it, with surprisingly less teasing than Loki would have expected. He turned his head towards the stained glass windows, cracked open to let in the warm breeze of the sun’s season. His mother loved to stand by that particular set of windows. Outside, Loki saw the field where he had turned himself into a snake and infamously stabbed Thor. The memory was bittersweet.

Loki looked behind him, to a large set of stone steps. He remembered being a teenager, and Odin coming down those steps, greeting Thor, but not him. Loki had tried so hard to please, but every effort had fallen short to the eye of the Allfather, whose attention was captured only by Asgard’s golden prince. He remembered it was by the kitchens when Thor had first come up with the idea of “Get Help.” Loki had wanted pudding, and his big brother had a particular idea in mind of how to get it. But Thor was meaner in those days, and Loki remembered that, too.

Thor and the rabbit thing were arguing about something, and it was distracting. Loki spared the pair one more glance before he decided he needed to breathe in Asgard again, the dreamlike past that no longer existed in the present. Asgard was no more. This very kingdom he was standing in had been destroyed in the predicted Ragnarok, and Loki knew he was fairly responsible for the whole thing.

To his right were more stairs, these ones leading down into the dark depths of the dungeons, a place that, at this time, Loki knew he would find himself. He slipped off to the stairs, pattering down lightly whilst simultaneously calling forth his seidr, the lime glimmers washing over him until he’d completed the illusion of a prison guard. His timing couldn’t have been better, either, because, at that moment, two guards clanked up the stairs in their golden armour, and nodded at Loki as they went by.

He couldn’t nod back. They were two of the guards that had dragged him down to his cell, leering and whispering dark confessions to his ears.

_ It is my birthright. _

_ Loki snarled, but he knew he didn’t mean what he said. He knew perfectly well that he’d never wanted the throne, but why would Odin believe that he was mind-controlled? And why would he bother telling? When had Odin ever once listened to him- and why should he now? If Loki opened up about what had truly happened to him, his mother’s heart would break and Odin would have yet another weakness to point out, another flaw to make known, and Loki would once again be lesser than Thor- lesser than anyone. So he held his ground, lying as he knew best, though the actual memories of what happened were all blurry- he only remembered pieces of what had happened after the sceptre had pierced his chest, and even before that… things were muddled. Loki’s childhood was tainted by the ice blue of the sceptre, of Jotunheim, of everything cold and cruel in the universe. _

_ Your birthright was to die! As a child. Cast out onto a frozen rock. _

_ Odin smirked at him, promising that Loki never would have been made the rightful king of Jotunheim, and he was worth even less in Asgard’s kingdom. Loki swallowed, tears blinking in his eyes, but he fought them from escaping. _

_ If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now to hate me. _

_ Odin’s smirk bordered into a full smile, and rage began to fill Loki. Odin had never loved him, not once- and his already tarnished world was crumbling beneath his feet. He remembered what he wanted. And he remembered that, for once, the Allfather might grant him that. His deathwish, which was, ironically, death. He stepped several paces forward, gazing up at Odin with longing. _

_ If I am for the axe, then for mercy’s sake, just… swing it. _

_ Loki’s chains clinked together, the ones around his neck that were chained to his wrists that were chained to his hips that were chained to his ankles. The chains that locked away his magic and his mobility were certainly thorough, but Loki wondered how much of it was purely for show. _

_ All for Odin’s show. For Asgard to look upon the chained monster and hate it. It would silence Frigga and make Thor’s ascent to the throne all the more glorious. This was the Allfather’s grand design, then. It always had been to- in some way- control Loki, degrade him, and then use him for his own purposes in order to further the might and the power of Asgard, ruler over the nine realms. _

_ Odin didn’t kill him for two reasons. Frigga had pleaded with him not to, and now that the Allfather knew how much Loki wanted death and how much he loved Frigga, he would not allow him the mercy of an execution. Eternal anguish suited Odin’s fancy best. After Odin had assured him of his misery and his isolation in the dungeons, Loki was stripped of his armour and intricately done leather, the guards shoving and pushing him around unnecessarily- and two of them, in particular, made certain he felt the heat of everyone who had ever hated him. _

_ After you fell into the abyss, do you know what the Allfather did, Silvertongue? He celebrated. All of Asgard celebrated when we thought you’d gone and killed yourself. We drank to your death. _

_ Loki winced as his shoulder plates were pulled away, but he was weakened and outnumbered. There was nothing he could do. They began pulling at his buckles and straps. _

_ Frigga was the only one who seemed upset, though. Remember that, Armenis? She was moping around for ages- maybe she missed having a child who cried on her shoulder all the time. I’m sure she’s gotten lonely sitting around the palace doing nothing. The Queen is hardly more than a servant. _

_ The chains were unshackled just long enough for the guards to tear off the leather he was wearing, and shove a cloth shirt at him, which Loki hastily pulled over himself, the reality of his new existence beginning to hit him as the chains magically shut tight again. The guards finished dressing him and completed the same ritual for the locks around his ankles, before they all left, one by one. _

_ Either way, besides Frigga, we were all glad when you were gone. Odin should have killed you. But I will say, I am going to enjoy watching you waste away in here... _

_ The guard laughed. His prison was sealed, and so was his fate. He was going to spend eternity in the dungeons, in the empty, white room. Aesir and Jotun, a fallen prince of both realms. Even to Thanos, he was a failure. Loki had to remind himself harshly that he did not serve Thanos anymore. His opinion was worth nothing to him. At least he’d gained back his free will if nothing else. He’d still lost everything. Loki shut his eyes and bit down hard on his tongue. The chains vanished. _

_ Frigga is the only reason you’re still alive and you’re never going to see her again. _

_ His tears fell, and Loki let out a sob. From the corner of his vision, he saw Thor, the commanding will over the enchanted chains, walking away solemnly, Loki’s shackles swinging from beneath his cape. He hated that old prophecy, and although Thor had full command over Loki’s chains, the prophecy had yet to come true. Loki doubted it ever would. _

_ You come home, Thor had told him. _

_ I don’t have it. _

_ Loki slid down the wall and wiped his cheek, sniffling. _

_ I don’t have it. _

Loki flicked his wrist, and both of the guards tripped at the top step, landing hard on their faces. He grinned when he heard groans and the satisfying crack of a broken nose, but he didn’t look back.

He walked the dark corridors, descending further into the one place Asgard wasn’t beautiful, where there was only the occasional flame of a torch, while the rest of the place was built up of black, jagged stone and the cold, white cells sealed off by the impenetrable yellow walls, allowing everyone to look in, but for the prisoner to never come out. It really was terrible, constant exposure. There was no privacy. Whoever had designed these cells had really done their research on how to make them as uncomfortable and miserable as possible.

Loki turned the corner and stopped. He’d found his cell.

He saw himself lying there, on a small bed Frigga had snuck down for him, tossing a small, silver object into the air and catching it, over and over again. He remembered this was already after he’d told Frigga she wasn’t his mother. He regretted it as soon as he’d said it, and then even more later. He watched his past self, watched how each flick of the wrist was a mistake, and each catch of the silver was the gravity of his guilt, adding up one by one.

Loki stepped closer to his cell, and the current guard posted there left quickly, obviously eager to be off his shift. Loki took his place, watching his past self from the corner of his vision. He could practically feel his own anger. He could physically sense the throbbing heart of his magic, and that, at least, was pulsing with the emotions that Loki outwardly fought to remain controlled. But he knew that inside, especially then, he was as restless as the sea during one of Thor’s tantrums.

At this point, he could distinctly recall trying to discern what was real, and what had been planted into his head by Thanos. The Other. His memories, his emotions, his beliefs- everything had been taken from him and twisted- it had all been used against him until he was perfectly moulded for Thanos’ purposes. He didn’t know what was a lie and he didn’t know what he felt and believed about it- any of it.

They broke him.

And- honestly- who was he fooling? Loki was still broken. He was just a little less confused about it now.

The metal whirred, the silver whistled lightly, and Loki’s past-self caught it back in his hand every single time, even from a distance, rigid and tense, though he remembered carefully positioning his posture to suggest otherwise.

_ He’s not my father! _

_ Loki roared, whipping around angrily to Frigga, who stood in his cell, patient, kind, but sombre. She didn’t know about the scars, the torture, the mind control… any of it. And he still wasn’t telling. She couldn’t pity him. It wouldn’t be right. _

_ But he’d just yelled at her. Loki froze, felt fear and regret hit him like a blow to the abdomen, and saw the tenderness fill Frigga’s gently creased eyes. _

_ Then am I not your mother? _

_ Loki inhaled, ready to answer. He sensed magic though, and as his eyes travelled over the Queen, the Goddess of Love, he spotted the faint golden light of her illusion. Frigga wasn’t really there. He inhaled again, more shakily, and the silence hung between them. The emotions intensified, and Loki struggled to keep his voice cold. _

_ You’re not. _

_ Frigga simpered slightly, shook her head, and drew even closer so that they were only inches apart. Loki knew what they both knew- his words had a double meaning. Frigga was an illusion, yes. But he’d also just disowned thousands of years growing up in the comfort of her embrace, thousands of years of lullabies and warm embraces, of exchanged love and the warm press of her lips against Loki’s cheek, his nose, his forehead… In two words, he had just taken everything back. He had both snatched away his love from Frigga and refused hers in return. _

_ You’re not. _

_ His mother. The only person who’d ever unwaveringly loved him throughout his entire life. The only person who truly cared, who saw him as he was and cherished it. The woman who’d nurtured, guided and protected him for thousands of years. His mother. And he’d just told her that she wasn’t worth one single day of it. _

_ Loki’s breath was coming in uneven little gasps, and his lower lip began to tremble. He blinked, remaining stiff and upright, but for the tears which had traitorously began to cloud the emeralds of his eyes. It was perhaps the biggest and most damaging lie that Loki had ever told. _

_ Frigga smiled, and he saw the same presence of tears shining in her eyes, too. She held out her hands to him, her gaze locked. _

_ Always so perceptive… about everyone but yourself. _

_ Loki tried to reach out to her, to place his hands in hers and apologise, to kiss his mother and tell her he didn’t mean it, he loved her- but Frigga’s illusion wasn’t made to touch, and his hands went straight through. He’d been right. His mother vanished before his eyes, the golden light taking her away from him before Loki could do anything. _

_ The last thing he saw was his mother’s tears fall like precious jewels, and he could do nothing to catch them. He was helpless to restore the only thing he had left, and now the only thing he’d just broken. _

Loki realised then that he was standing in front of his past self, and his past self was staring at him in undeniable shock. Loki realised too that he’d also completely dropped the disguise of a guard and was now in his true form, and on full display. He and his past self were both completely still, and if Loki wasn’t still crying, he might have had something clever to say. Loki stared at himself, a new form of self-loathing paradoxically occurring. He didn’t know what to feel, but he was shivering and cold again.

Past-Loki hardened his gaze, lifted his chin proudly, and glared at him. The silver object was tight in his pale, long-fingered grasp. He knew.

“Does it get better in the future?”

Loki forced himself to nod, but all he could think about was Frigga. His mother was about to die, and his past self had no idea how close he’d get to enduring Hel. He thought of Thanos killing him and everything else that had only further broken him.

“It does.” He promised.

Past-Loki twisted his mouth sarcastically. “Presumably after everything gets worse.”

Loki couldn’t bring himself to say what he knew was about to happen. Mother. Right after her death, Loki had fallen deep into a (for once) self-induced psychosis. He’d almost completely lost his own mind by the time Thor came down to his cell. But how was he meant to tell himself that?

He laughed weakly and looked down. “Yes, but… this, all of it… it does improve.”

His past self rolled his eyes. “As if it could really get more miserable than this.”

Loki stiffened.

_ Mother. _

Past-Loki lifted an eyebrow at him, then laid back down on his small bed, resuming his tossing of the silver. “What are you so upset about? Isn’t crying a bit beneath us?”

“Nothing.” He lied to his past self. “But I do need to leave.”

Past-Loki hummed with disinterest. “I hope you mean your words. All of them.”

“I do. Please trust that.”

“But we can’t be trusted, can we?” Past-Loki slid his eyes to him again, pain and anger radiating out of them like waves.

Loki had no reply.

A cruel sneer. “I thought not.”

His past self looked away again, and the tears Loki had been holding back finally fell. Past-Loki was still throwing the silver, ceaselessly repetitious.

And he had no idea what was coming.

Loki backed away from his old cell, slowly at first, and then faster as he turned and ran back through the corridors and up the stone steps. He’d done so much crying recently, and he hated how the hiccuping sobs persisted, how his cheeks were still damp with tears that continued to fall, burning against his cold skin.

He just needed to find Thor and get back on track again. The mission would help distract him from his own guilt. From what he’d done. From Frigga.

He’d gotten back to where they had first landed, but Loki skidded to an abrupt halt when he heard voices murmuring to his left. Loki needed to stay hidden. He backed behind the nearest pillar and then, he slowly peered out from behind it, to determine his level of danger. He had no energy to summon up his seidr, and he was too wrecked anyhow.

He saw Thor and heard him talking to a woman, but from Loki’s admittedly tarnished memory, it didn’t sound like the old flame. It almost sounded…

It was. It was his mother.

In an almost trance, Loki found his feet moving forward, out from behind the pillar to bring himself into a direct line of sight. His throat suddenly went very dry, and he coughed involuntarily, which caused both Thor and their mother to look up at him.

His older brother had been crying. That much was obvious. But he couldn’t read Frigga’s expression. Somehow, he got the feeling that she knew he wasn’t the same Loki imprisoned in the dungeons he’d just came from.

His voice was so hoarse he could only manage a whisper. “Hello, Mother.”

Thor was blinking blearily at him, and Frigga extended her arms out to him. Loki stared at her. He wasn’t deserving to call her his mother. And she wasn’t, was she? But he’d hoped, maybe, he could repair the damage he’d done before when he told Frigga that last lie and spoke the last words he’d ever say to her. Maybe he could fix what he’d broken.

But he didn’t deserve even that. Loki’s lip was trembling again. He forced it to stop.

“Loki,” Frigga said, her voice soft and gentle, the comforting lull of her words impossible to resist.

He tried to fight that, too, vainly. He couldn’t get any closer. He wasn’t her son, even if she was more than deserving of being the only mother Loki had ever known. He shook his head minutely, trying to stop himself from listening to what he knew would come next. He was so, so cold, and his shaking was somehow even more intensified. Frigga’s mouth pulled upwards, almost sadly at him.

“Come.”

Loki failed. He tried to be still, but his legs were moving forward on their own, and the closer he got, the faster he was drawn to her until the gap closed and he was crying into his mother’s shoulder, wrapped tightly in her embrace. She began to hum quietly, and Loki remembered the driver’s humming of those same notes, the lullaby that had soothed him for thousands of years.

Frigga spoke again, still holding Loki and Thor against her. “My sons. At long last, you are here together.”


	10. Mother

Thor

Thor landed hard on the stone floor. He gasped for a moment and looked around at the Rabbit and Loki. Loki was looking up at the ceiling, while the Rabbit was checking his time-travel thingy on his hand. He was mumbling to himself about it being “primitive.” Thor took a moment to look at his outfit, then realized it was replaced with his favourite hoodie, threadbare cloak, plaid pyjama pants and black Crocs. He smiled appreciatively at the comfort of his outfit, then glanced back at Loki. He was still staring at the ceiling. Thor glanced up as well. It was the mural of his family and all of the Nine Realms, living together in peace with Odin on the throne as king. Thor’s smile faltered a little as he remembered the death and destruction it took for there to be peace. 

_ And Hela. _

Thor shook his head. His father, for all his flaws, had led his kingdom to prosper during his reign. He had done what he had done for the greater good. He had made sure he and Loki had grown up with food, water, wealth and the things that came along with being princes. 

The Rabbit came up to him and pulled him right outside the corridor. They stood in front of Jane’s room. 

“Alright Thor,” the Rabbit began to explain. “Here’s how we're gonna do this: you’re gonna turn on your charm and while she’s distracted, I’m gonna stick her with this.” He held up a tube with three prongs. Probably designed to pull the Reality Stone out of Jane.

Thor nodded. He understood the plan. He took a deep breath, ran a hand through his beard, wiped his eyes and nose. He was ready. He was ready. He was _ ready_. 

As he turned to walk to Jane’s door, he watched as the servants that led Jane had a particular person leading them. He recognised her, and his face flooded with colour.

“Who’s the fancy broad?” the Rabbit asked casually. 

“That’s my mother,” Thor solemnly replied. The Rabbit looked at him, eyes wide. “She dies today.”

“Oh.”

Thor looked at his mother, then to Jane’s chamber. He panicked. He couldn’t do this.

“I can’t do this,” He blurted out. “I can’t do this.”

“What?” The Rabbit turned suddenly.

“You know, my father had these _ massive _barrels of ale,” Thor made a large circle with his arms to emphasize the size of these barrels. “I’m gonna go down to the cellar and see if there are some left.” He turned and began to walk in the opposite direction.

“Wait, hold on.” The Rabbit grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him back in front of him. “Look at me.” Thor took a second, then looked into the Rabbit's deep brown eyes with his one electric blue eye and the tan other. “I lost the only family I had. This is an opportunity to get them back.”

Thor shifted uncomfortably, then began to cry.

“Are you-” the Rabbit asked incredulously. “Are you _ crying_?”

“No,” Thor squeaked out. He had no idea why he was crying. Maybe his mother dying. Maybe Jane and how they fell apart. Maybe the fact he was finally sober and he was thinking clearly for the first time. 

“Stop it,” the Rabbit said harshly. Thor tried, but just couldn’t.

“HEY!”

The Rabbit slapped him on the cheek. That got Thor to stop crying. 

“I know you lost your family,” the Rabbit quietly told him. “You lost your people. I lost the only family I had. This right here-” he gestured towards Jane’s door. “This is an opportunity to stop Thanos and fix what he did. Do you think you can pull it together enough to charm her for a few minutes so I can get the stone out of her?”

Thor pondered this for about three seconds, then nodded. 

“Alright,” The Rabbit turned back to the door. “You ready?”

Thor took two steps towards the door, then:

_ Mother. I have to let her know. She is more important_.

He then turned and ran as fast as his legs and Crocs would allow him. As he rounded the corner, he thought he heard the Rabbit call his name, but he didn’t stop. 

_ Mother. _ The only thing on his mind. 

_ Mother. _

.....

Thor rounded a pillar and skidded to a halt. His mother was surrounded by a couple of servant-girls. He went behind the pillars, hoping it was wide enough to hide his newfound girth (which some of the servants took an interest in as he passed). He heard the servants walk off, laughing quietly. Thor took a deep breath, then came out from behind the pillar. As he did that, he misjudged the distance where his mother was from where he was, and almost knocked her over. She shrieked in surprise, as did he. She took a couple of steps back and looked him in the eyes. 

“Thor?” She questioned.

“Mother?”

“You should leave the sneaking around to your brother. Are you from the future?” She inquired, a long and graceful finger rested on her chin. 

“What?” Thor spluttered, smirking nervously. “Of course not. I’ve always looked like this.”

“Thor,” his mother gently said as she laid a soft hand on his shoulder. “I was raised by witches. I know my boy from the future.”

Tears of joy and sadness began to leak from Thor’s eyes. “I’m totally from the future.”

Frigga nodded, then held her arms open. Thor embraced her fully, sobbing into her shoulder. He was so happy to see her.

“I’m so happy to see you,” he blubbered. 

“I know you are,” she kindly responded, gently stroking his gnarled hair. 

“You don’t know how happy I am to talk to you again.”

“I know you are happy to talk to me, though.”

A soft cough echoed across the near-empty hallway. Thor looked up with bloodshot eyes and saw Loki, his Loki, with his eyes puffy as well. 

_ Had _ he _ been crying_? Thor thought.

“Hello Mother,” Loki whispered, giving himself a wide berth from her and Thor. 

Frigga said nothing, but her eyes told Thor that, just like him, she knew that this was Loki from the future. A Loki who had finally found a brother. A Loki who had grown. 

“Loki,” she said softly, gesturing for him to come closer. “Come.”

Loki slowly walked up, like a child who had gotten into trouble. As he approached, he started to pick up his pace. He reached Frigga’s arms and embraced her and Thor, tears falling silently down his pale face and down her golden robes. She hummed softly to comfort both Thor and Loki.

“My sons. At long last, you are here together.”

.....

They sat there for what seemed like hours. Thor felt the happiest he had been. He was surrounded by the family he truly loved. It was a tender moment.

“Boys,” Frigga whispered.

“Yes?” Thor whispered back.

“I don’t believe it would be… prudent to have other people see you. Shall we go to my private room?”

Loki nodded, as did Thor. Arm in arm, they got up, walked down a hallway, took two rights, then ended up in Frigga’s private dressing room, a secret kept from all others except the royal family and Heimdall. It was a place of solitude for his mother, especially when things happened the first time Loki… disappeared.

_ It was the one place where Thor felt he could properly grieve for his brother. His father, while upset, did not like seeing Thor grieve and preferred that Thor “control his emotions” and “move on.” He pushed Thor to go and keep peace within the Nine Realms. And he did. He went off, took down a couple of small rebellions, came back. As soon as he came back, Odin had him be a diplomatic ambassador to Jotunheim and arrange a peace treaty. Thor did just that and returned. When he came back this time, however, Frigga had called him for a private talk. When he walked in, a few months after Loki’s disappearance, to Frigga’s room, she asked him one question: How much do you think about Loki? _

_ Every day, _ Thor thought as he, Frigga and Loki walked into the room. _ A day does not go by when I didn’t miss him. Now, I miss her. _

Frigga gestured for them to sit on the edge of her bed as she pulled a chair to sit in front of him. Thor plopped down and immediately spread his legs, taking up more than three-quarters of the bed. Loki shifted uncomfortably and sat near the corner, almost sitting on the floor. Frigga looked at Thor with a small look of pity, then asked:

“Thor, what has happened to cause you to look like…” she paused, as she tried to find the words to not hurt his feelings (the corners of Loki’s mouth turned up slightly). “... this?”

Thor took a deep breath and ran his hand through his beard. He couldn’t look his mother, one of the few people he loved, in the eye. He felt a feeling he hadn't felt since the time Mjolnir was taken from him by Odin: shame. Absolute shame.

“Loki died,” he blurted out. Loki’s eyes widened massively, then he turned to Thor and glared at him with a fury so intense Thor recoiled slightly. Frigga, however, remained unmoved by this piece of information. 

“How?” Frigga asked. 

“Thanos.”

“Thanos,” Frigga folded her hands together and exhaled slowly. “Who is Thanos?”

“A dick,” Thor responded without thinking. He immediately turned red and Loki smiled a small smile, slightly dropping the glare. Frigga’s expression remained stonelike. 

“How did you handle it?” she asked.

“I killed him,” Thor responded with a smile. “Well, after he killed half the universe.”

“How did you _ handle _ it?” she repeated.

Thor fidgeted, like a child who had just gotten into trouble. Finally, he said:

“I indulged myself.”

Loki let out a quiet exhale of amusement. Thor glanced over at him, a bit peeved, then his eyes dropped to his feet. He still couldn’t look his mother in the eye.

“I ate and isolated myself,” Thor continued. “I’ve abandoned my people. I just played video games and drank for five years.”

“Do you regret it?” His mother inquired. 

“Yes.”

“Then nothing more needs to be said,” Frigga said gently as she laid a hand on Thor’s shoulder. Tears of shame began to fall onto his knees.

“Thor, look at me.”

Thor closed his eyes, trying to force back tears. He felt a delicate hand on his chin pull his head up. He then opened his eyes and looked into his mother’s amber-coloured ones. 

“We have talked about your strengths and your weaknesses. We have talked about your struggles with feeling inadequate and how your brother’s “deaths” have haunted you. How _ you _ have felt responsible for those deaths.”

Loki looked over, his face in a slightly shocked grimace. He seemed surprised that Thor felt that way. Thor glanced over at Loki and nodded confirmation: he felt responsible for Loki’s deaths. 

“I am not going to enter your mind, because I know how you feel and your sorrow is genuine.” She planted a kiss on Thor’s forehead, then turned to Loki.

“Loki, my son,” she said, her expression back to being unreadable. “What happened to you?”


	11. Get Out Of My Head

Loki

Loki’s heart skipped a beat, nervously. He was still trying to process all that he’d heard. Thor was what he was because of Loki? Really? The minute he’d first laid eyes on his older brother, he’d immediately ruled himself out as the reason for Thor’s… everything. His drinking. His emotional turmoil. His  _ indulging.  _ Loki had attributed very little- if any of it, to himself.

“I died,” He croaked, weakly.

Frigga pursed her lips and gazed at him condescendingly. “I had gathered that much. Did you truly die, or was this one of your misguided tricks again?”

“I died! I really did!” He argued, then blushed when he realised how much he sounded like he was pouting. It was Thor’s turn to snigger.

Loki raised his hand to strike vehemently, but Frigga cleared her throat loudly. He folded his hands back in his lap, tightly. Thor was smugly eyeing him, and Loki couldn’t help using his magic to sharply tug on his ratted blond hair. Thor spluttered and cursed, and Loki grinned with pride.

“Loki, enough.” Frigga snapped her fingers, regaining his attention. “So, you truly died. How did this come about?”

He tightened. “Sentiment had gotten the better of me, in the heat of the moment, and I… misjudged the situation.”

His mother clearly wasn’t satisfied with that explanation. “Loki, you’ll need to do bett-”

“In any case, yes, I died.” He cut her off hastily. “And I woke up five years later.”

Frigga’s expression told him that she wasn’t going to let him get away with this poor explanation of things, but she would be patient until she chose not to be. This did slightly worry Loki, and he leant back so that his forehead was out of her reach. He didn’t want her inside his mind to see the disaster there.

Frigga sighed deeply. “Where? How?”

“A small, empty room on Midgard. In Norway’s hills. Golden dust hung about the area where I awoke, similar to the Allfather’s enchantments, but I’ve nothing else to go on.”

Frigga nodded, humming to herself quietly. “It is possible that your father placed an enchantment on you. If your brother needed you, then perhaps he resurrected you to go to his aid.”

Thor patted Loki’s shoulder. “That would make sense, wouldn’t it, brother?”

“No.” He replied, bitterly. “Odin does not think as highly of me as that.”

Frigga placed her hands on Loki’s and smiled comfortingly at him. “You never know, my son. I know he’s made mistakes, but he may care for you underneath it all.”

Loki shook his head and looked away.

“You’re freezing,” Frigga said, suddenly. “Loki, why do you tremble?”

Thor answered first, and Loki glared at him again. “Oh, we don’t know. Ever since he came back, Loki has been doing this strange shivering thing, or sometimes he had these weird episodes, but he won’t talk about them-”

“Shut  _ up,  _ you great oaf-”

“Loki.” Frigga’s hands squeezed his tightly.

He turned his head towards her, but as he did so, he felt a tremendous swooping feeling in his stomach, he went dizzy, his vision doubled, and then it went dark.

_ Thanos was there, looming over Loki as he struggled to limp away. He’d just fallen through the universe and he didn’t know where he was. _

_ A god has fallen from the sky. Asgard’s youngest prince, am I correct? _

_ Loki raised his head to look at the great Titan, whose deep voice rattled his very bones. He didn’t answer, but fear grabbed at him like the hands of many cold corpses. _

_ Loki. The God of Mischief… what good fortune this is. The universe smiles upon me today, Odinson. I will make good use of you. _

_ Loki collapsed. _

_ In another flash, another whirring of motion, he was being pinned to the ground, always by his throat, and one of those creatures was dragging its nails down his eye, burning and scraping it open with its poison touch. Loki thrashed, but more creatures came to hold his legs down, and they clawed there, too, biting and snapping and breaking and shredding him apart. _

_ With his one working eye, Loki looked to the stone throne Thanos sat upon with unjust might and power. Thanos made eye contact with him and smiled. The pain suddenly blocked out, and Loki focused everything he had on that purple beast. He felt his seidr surge through his veins as he’d never felt it before. Lime-coloured flames of magic shimmered in his hands, shining and glowing with a light that got brighter and brighter. Thanos’ face shifted to one of bewilderment and concern. _

_ With a bang and an explosion of green light, Loki threw off the creatures that tore him apart. They hit the rocky, rough walls and slid down, motionless. Loki fixed Thanos with more hatred than he’d ever possessed before, and he could feel his own eyes glowing emerald, with more magic than he’d ever possessed before, either. _

_ Thanos chuckled darkly. _

_ I’m glad there’s some strength in you. _

_ Loki sat up, blood pouring down the burned side of his face. He couldn’t see from one eye. Thanos turned to one of the other creatures. _

_ Bring me the lash and bindings. He can’t be allowed to use his magic again. _

_ With his wrists bound by enchanted chains, his magic was gone, and none of Loki’s injuries would heal, even a few months later. He was still half-blind, his legs were still broken, and his back was still fresh with the slashing lines of a whip. But, more of those came every few hours. Currently, his fingers were being broken, one by one, and Loki was screaming out curses to Thanos, in every dark tongue he could remember with so much pain clouding his mind. _

_ For a long time, his insults all seemed to have no effect, so Loki made them worse and worse. Half the time, he had no idea what he was saying, but at some point, he must have finally struck a nerve. Thanos stood from his chair, looking livid. Loki cackled, his voice breaking and cracking as he did so. _

_ Yes, finally- come kill me already, you great ugly brute- _

_ Thanos backhanded him across the face, and Loki hit the rocks, unconscious. _

_ He woke up to his mouth being stitched closed. He frantically struggled, but he was on his back again, being held down on all sides again, and his magic was of no use to him anymore. Blood was filling his mouth, but he couldn’t spit it out. It flooded his throat, but for all his coughing and gagging, Loki only succeeded in filling his nose and throat with blood and bile. He choked on his own vomit, and his head was yanked up roughly by his hair, just enough to force it down his throat. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, and Thanos was smiling again. _

_ Loki had no idea how much time had passed, but the torture was never lacking in creativity. Even nourishing him was a pleasure for all those who enjoyed inflicting him pain- and that was everyone. Thanos gripped him by the skull, forcing his head in place, as Loki knelt, arms entirely bound to himself. He could do nothing. He was too weak to fight when the tubes were again forced up his nose, and hot liquid travelled through them and poured down his throat, searing him. It was his daily meal. _

_ Loki moaned loudly, sobbing and fruitlessly jerking his shoulders in a pathetic attempt to get away. Thanos shushed him and held him in place. The liquid was so hot that Loki could feel it when it hit his stomach, and the taste was foul enough that he’d vomited it into his still sealed mouth several times that they’d done this. Despite being fed once a day through the tubes, Loki still could see his body deteriorating. He was already thin, but he’d only gotten thinner- even skeletal. It made every punch, every hit, every bruise and bite and slash of a knife or a whip even worse. Everything went straight to his bones, straight to the most painful parts, because Loki had no muscle and no padding of any kind to protect him from the worst of it all. _

_ He wanted his mother. He couldn’t believe he’d ever thought it was bad when she forced him to eat. Thanos was indescribably worse. Loki let out a muffled, guttural noise when the tubes were pulled out, stinging and burning the whole way. _

_ Thanos bent down, looking into Loki’s face. He could scarcely keep his eyes open, but he still shook with fear and lividity. Thanos nodded, still forcing his head up. _

_ It’s almost time. _

_ Another flash. _

_ Loki didn’t know where he was or what he was doing, but somehow, he was crumpled over on a ground of charcoal-toned rocks, and Thanos- this being he recognised- was removing bindings off his wrists. Loki blinked, confused, but Thanos bade him be still, and he obeyed. Once the bonds were gone, Loki felt a burst of something… something returning to him. Hundreds of perplexing and painful wounds began to heal all over him, and he felt vision slowly returning to his eye, surprising him that he’d lost it in the first place. Loki waited on the ground until he felt strong enough to stand, and when he did, the Titan held out a sceptre to him, one that was curved at the tip and held a glowing, blue stone. _

_ Astonishing. You’ve restored yourself so quickly now that your magic has been freed. _

_ Loki frowned at Thanos. He didn’t remember why, but something felt strange about this whole thing. He shook his head rapidly, clutching it in his hands. Everything he looked at was tinged blue. His whole world pulsed and vibrated with an electric, glowing ice that he couldn’t get rid of. He hit his palm against his temple, getting frustrated. He wanted it out, whatever it was- the foreign thing inside his head, over his eyes, clenching in his heart. He looked down at his bare chest and saw a long, jagged scar over his heart. Loki felt his eyes widen. The scar glowed blue. Just enough to be noticeable. _

_ What… what’s happened to me? _

_ You’ve been made ready. I’ve fixed what once was broken. The Allfather never treated you as an equal to your golden brother, Thor. Remember. You were the rightful heir but Odin would never acknowledge it. Thor tossed you into the abyss in a fit of jealous rage, and Odin watched silently. _

_ Loki closed his eyes and took the sceptre in his hand, curling his fingers around it tightly. _

_ Thor… he tried to kill me? _

_ Yes. He hates you as much as the Allfather. You have no home, and yet you are a king. _

_ A king? _

_ Abandoned by your birth father, so you can never rule Jotunheim. Asgard has turned its back on you, too. But it is no longer of any consequence. You have a new destiny, now. _

_ Loki winced, his skull splitting. _

_ I don’t- _

_ Midgard. You will go to Midgard and conquer it. You have an army behind you. _

_ Thanos didn’t look pleased when Loki hesitated and shook his head again. Everything felt wrong. He felt empowered and fragile all at once and he couldn’t remember anything. Nothing made sense. He wasn’t lining up with his own desires. _

_ Thanos hardened his expression, and vengeance felt like it was seeping into Loki’s brain. Bloodlust became like ink polluting water- but he had to drink it. Loki coughed and doubled over. He spat a black liquid into his hand, then stared up at Thanos, panicked. He was ill. Something was wrong. He needed guidance. _

_ What’s happened? What’s wrong with- _

_ Do not be weak. Obey me and all will come into clarity. Do not fight me, and you will have your revenge. You will be strong. _

_ Loki wiped his mouth and stood, his brain dulling over. It was easier to let Thanos, to let the sceptre, control his movements. Loki was too tired to do it alone. Heavy-lidded, he looked into the eyes of the Titan and felt strings nodding his head in agreement. The blue was becoming more vibrant. _

_ Good. You are mine. _

_ Loki felt his freshly healed lips forming the word, yes, and then the world burst apart in a flash once more. _

_ Loki was on Asgard, imprisoned in his cell. The guard was stoic when he approached the yellow barrier of the white room he was locked up in. Loki turned his head slightly towards him. _

_ The Queen is dead. I will return after the funeral, but you are to remain in your cell. _

_ Loki inclined his head once, and the guard departed. He quickly looked away, and everything began spinning. He didn’t care, he didn’t care, he was fine, he didn’t care. _

_ He did care. He did, he cared, he did care- _

_ Loki rose, slowly walking towards the middle of his cell. _

_ Always so perceptive, about everyone but yourself. _

_ His seidr unwillingly burst out of him, and every object, every furnishing his mother had brought him exploded out and away from him, hitting the walls and breaking nearly half of it all. The lights flickered, and Loki lowered his head. _

_ He’d told the Dark Elf exactly where he needed to go. He didn’t know that his mother would be there. He didn’t mean to put her in danger- he’d no idea that she would die because of it- _

_ Loki used his magic, green glowing in his hand, and shattered a surviving glass against the wall. The shards cut across his cheek, and he felt glad for it. Blood dripped like a tear from the wound, and then Loki felt the hot wetness of actual tears forming in his eyes. The tears stung the cut. _

_ His mother couldn’t be dead. Loki hadn’t apologised yet. He never said he was sorry, he didn’t mean what he said- _

_ Then am I not your mother? _

_ You’re not. _

_ Loki levitated his bed into the air and curled his hand into a tight, shaking fist. The wood splintered and slowly split apart, grinding down and breaking until the frame was nothing more than mere splinters, and the cot was torn apart and mangled. He lifted his hand again, and everything metal crushed and fell back to the ground. _

_ The room was so white. It was too much. Too bright. Loki fisted his hands over his eyes, wanting it all to go away. _

_ He kept the truth from you so that you would never feel different. You are our son, Loki. And we are your family. You must know that. _

_ Loki dug his hands into his hair, pulling at it as though he could pull his mother out, too. He loved her. He had always loved his mother. Frigga had never once treated him as anything less. He began to cry, and it was uncontrollable. His magic was still shattering glass, still making everything around him break, just like he’d always done. Loki couldn’t stop breaking things. He broke everything. _

_ Odin appeared in his head, sentencing him to an eternity in the dungeons. His voice was loud and terribly clear. Everywhere you go, there is destruction and death. _

_ Loki stumbled- a shard of glass cut his foot and he tripped, hitting the floor. He cried harder. _

_ You’re a good son. _

_ He wasn’t a good son. Frigga had been wrong. Loki wasn’t even her true son. Odin was right. _

_ Because I’m the monster parents tell the children about at night? _

_ Frigga’s voice was sharper. You know full well it was your actions that brought you here. _

_ My actions. _

_ Loki was on the floor. He was weeping. In hysterics. He was sobbing so loud he was practically screaming. Things continued to smash around him. _

_ Then he did scream, ear-splitting, tearing his own vocal cords. His hands shook in front of him and tears streamed down his cheeks, and he screamed until his voice broke and he could scream no more. Loki sobbed again and hit his head back against the wall. He hit his fist against the ground, his hand becoming embedded with splinters of glass.  _

_ His mother was dead. He never deserved to be her son. _

_ Your birthright was to die. _

_ Loki couldn’t breathe anymore. He was suffocating on his own sorrow. He whispered pleas for anyone who could hear him. He was hardly intelligible. He was crying still. _

_ This is a child at prayer. Pathetic. _

_ Loki knew he was pathetic. But his mother was dead, he hadn’t apologised, and he was the one to blame for it all. _

Loki gasped, briefly coming out of the trance. “No more- please-”

He’d managed to disconnect their hands, and he tried to keep them away from her. She couldn’t see any more of him. Frigga needed to get  _ out  _ of his head.

His mother made quiet, soothing noises, but she latched on tightly to Loki’s wrists again, and he again tried to yank his hands back.

“Mother, NO-”

Loki protested, but when she squeezed his hands tightly again, his eyes rolled back, and he was put back under the spell.

_ He and Thor were together, teasing one another, laughing, smiling. Loki felt a happiness that he never knew he still possessed. Even “Get Help” was nostalgic. It reminded him of better times, and Loki missed those times. Thor’s bright blue eyes creased into a happy smile and he got this silly, goofy grin on his face whenever he and Loki did things together. Even in the midst of a battle, side by side, Loki still saw his older brother smile. _

_ He’d felt such an enormous swelling of pride when Thor’s lightning erupted in all its glory, his full power breaking free as they fought the last battle to defeat Hela. Thor was smashing through enemies and Loki was ridiculously pleased to see him do it. He swivelled around, slashing two undead soldiers at once, with more energy than before. _

_ Loki felt honoured when Thor entrusted him with the Eternal Flame, with bringing about Ragnarok in order to ultimately defeat Hela and destroy Asgard. It was insane, it was madness, but it was amazing. He was proud to do it. Proud to make his older brother proud. Loki appeared on the ship the Asgardians had all escaped in, eager to prove to Thor what he’d told him earlier. _

_ You will always be the God of Mischief. But you could be more. _

_ Thor looked sad but unsurprised, and Loki knew what he believed. He didn’t think he was there. It was just another trick. Another illusion. _

_ If you were here I might even give you a hug. _

_ Loki caught the object in his hand. _

_ Thor’s face broke into a massive grin. _

_ I’m here. _

_ Loki was with Thor as he was crowned king on that little ship, and he realised then that he’d meant what he said all those years ago. He’d never wanted the throne. But now he was his brother’s equal, and Loki couldn’t have been more pleased to feel like he belonged somewhere. Thor was his family. His mother had been, too- for both of them. But they were going to be alright. _

_ The scene changed. The same ship was now on fire, and almost everyone was dead. Only a few had managed to escape in pods, but Thor and Loki still remained, among the pile of corpses and rubble, with only a few straggling lives left around them. _

_ Thanos was back. Loki always knew he’d never be able to outrun him. Not in the end. Thanos dragged his brother by the skull. Loki fought furiously to keep his face straight. _

_ The Tesseract, or your brother’s head. _

_ Loki tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. He had to lie. Thor could take it. Right? Thanos didn’t have the power to kill him. But when Thor roared in pain and Loki felt the tears spring into his eyes, he knew even his big brother was no match for Thanos’ power. _

_ Alright, stop! _

_ Loki pulled the Tesseract from the safety of his pocket dimension. He’d never intended to use it, but he knew Thanos would be looking for it and he knew even Ragnarok couldn’t destroy an Infinity Stone. Guiltily, he shifted his eyes to Thor. _

_ You really are the worst, brother. _

_ Loki felt the words stab his heart. This was his fault. He had to fix it somehow. _

_ I assure you brother, the sun will shine on us again. _

_ The scene flashed again, and if things hadn’t been dire before, they were hopeless now. Heimdall was dead, Thor was completely locked up, and Thanos stood proud with his henchman in the destruction of it all. _

_ Loki had to act. He had to save Thor. _

_ I, Loki, Prince of Asgard… _

_ He looked to Thor, making sure he knew that Loki was no traitor. Thor was his brother. He loved him and he was willing to go to any lengths to prove that. Loki’s voice went softer. _

_ Odinson… _

_ Thanos glowered. Loki looked back up to him, still maintaining the act. _

_ The Rightful King of Jotunheim, God of Mischief, do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity. _

_ Loki materialised a dagger, and although he was more terrified than he’d ever been, he was determined, too. He inhaled, but he trembled, and his hand was too slow when he aimed his blade for Thanos’ neck, and his hand was stopped in mid-air. _

_ Undying… you should choose your words more wisely. _

_ The dagger dropped, Loki cried out, and then Thanos was gripping his neck and suspending him in the air. Loki kicked and fought. Blood filled his eyes, poured from his nose, bubbled in his throat, even burst in his ears, and Thor was screaming his name behind the metal that gagged him. _

_ Thanos grinned his ugly purple grin, and Loki knew he was going to meet his end. _

_ You will never be a god. _

Loki tore his wrists from Frigga’s grasp, falling back to his elbows on the bed. He wished he’d known his mother could access his mind through his hands, otherwise, he’d have never let her touch them. His face felt wet, and when he looked at his mother’s honey eyes, he could see that she’d cried, too.


	12. He Thinks He's A Monster

Thor

Thor sat there as his mother took his brother’s hands. His brother attempted to pull back, but as soon as his mother squeezed, Loki’s neck and torso tensed up. Every vein in his neck popped up and his face was in pain. Thor jumped to his feet, watching his brother’s face contort and twist with whatever magic their mother was using. He glanced over at Frigga, whose face was also in pain.

“Mother!” Thor shouted as he grabbed each of their hands and attempted to pull them apart. 

There was no movement in their hands; in fact, Frigga seemed to grip even tighter. Thor grabbed their wrists again and pulled. He pulled so hard, the floor underneath his feet cracked under the pressure and strength of his body. It felt like pulling Mjolnir while being unworthy. After pulling for what seemed like hours, Thor eventually lost his grip. He let go and staggered back, breathing hard and starting to sweat.

“What the-” he panted. He went silent, as Loki began to relax, but tears came out of his eyes. He looked over at his mother, whose expression had not changed. Loki’s eyes opened suddenly.

“No more-” Loki said, his voice breaking. Frigga looked sorrowful, then lunged for Loki’s wrists again.

“Mother NO!” Loki yelled, but he fell silent as Frigga latched onto Loki’s wrists and again entered his mind.

“Mother!” Thor yelled as well, trying again to disconnect his mother from Loki, but to no avail. He just stood there, frozen. He had no idea what he should do. He couldn’t get help. His magical knowledge was very limited, apart from Allspeak and his lightning. He just stared. He watched as his brother’s face broke down into sobs, while his mother’s face had a steady fall of tears flowing down it as well.

After what seemed like millennia, Loki eventually gasped, his eyes shot open, he released his mother’s wrists like they were white-hot, then crawled back from her like she was going to devour him any second. Thor whipped his head to accuse his mother of wrongdoing, then stopped when he saw that she was crying silently. Thor’s anger immediately faded away as he watched her mother cry for the second time in living memory. He went over and put an arm over her shoulder, trying to soothe her. She tensed up slightly but still continued to cry. He didn’t know what to do. His mother’s crying wasn’t like his. His was blubbering and sobbing; it was easy to tell what was wrong. With his mother, and doing whatever she did to Loki, she made no facial expressions. The only thing that told Thor that something was wrong was the tears.

“Mother,” Thor whispered, trying to imitate the soothing voice Frigga always did to calm Loki and him down. “It’s alright. Loki is here.” While no sound was made, the tears eventually slowed down. Thor smiled and looked over at Loki. His face immediately fell again, as he saw his brother curled into a ball at the head of the bed. No sounds were made, but his body trembled. Thor walked over to him and gently laid his arm around Loki’s shoulder.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” roared Loki. He threw Thor’s arm off of his body, jumped off the bed, and walked about five feet before shouting at the top of his lungs. No words, just pain. Thor recoiled slightly.

_ What did Mother do? _

He stood there, looking at Loki panting heavily after his yelling fit, his hands resting on his knees. He shot livid looks at Frigga, then kept looking down at his feet. Thor turned to Frigga and watched her get up silently and walk towards the balcony. Thor followed her.

She stood right by the door. Thor quietly walked up next to her, just to watch her begin to cry again, this time with sorrow on her face. The crying turned to quiet sobs. Her shoulders shook as she finally allowed all her emotions to show on her face.

“Mother,” Thor asked. “What did you see?”

Frigga said nothing but continued to stare out into Asgard’s blue skies and rolling green hills. She covered her mouth with her hand and tried to suppress the sobs coming out of her. Thor turned her towards him and she fell into his chest and he felt tears drip down his shirt.

“It’s okay,” Thor said soothingly. “It’s alright.”

“No,” a hoarse voice whispered. Thor turned his head and looked at Loki’s tear-stained face. “No, it’s not alright.”

“You know what she saw, Thor?” Loki walked up and stood in front of Thor with a look of defiance and intense grief. “She saw something that would make your skin crawl. She saw someone that you would look on with pity and disgust. With hatred.”

“What could make me hate you?” Thor asked.

Loki said nothing but strained slightly as Thor watched his skin turn blue. Thor recoiled backwards as his brother’s face became a blue colour with darker blue lines surrounding his cheeks and eyes. His eyes went from their usual green to entirely blood-red. His clothes fell away until what stood before him was a blue, scrawny Frost Giant, clothed in nought but thin, black trousers.

“This,” Loki pointed to himself. “This is a piece of what she saw. You see me, you see a monster. She saw the monster that I truly am. Look at me! Do you still love me, brother? You could NEVER love me!”

Loki began to tremble with emotion pulsing through his body. “I have been through so much. I hide it, but I’ve made unforgivable mistakes… she saw it all. And she doesn’t love me for it. Do you, Mother?” He walked to Frigga and yelled at her back. 

“DO YOU LOVE ME NOW?! CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I AM?! A MONSTER FOR A SON, ONE WHO HATES YOU?! ONE WHO IS-”

He choked on the last word, and sunk to the ground and began to wail. Thor stood, frozen once again. He didn’t know what to think. When he did, his first thought was:

_ What did I do wrong? I must have pushed him too much. I failed him… again. _

Tears came to Thor’s eyes. He failed again. He screwed over everyone. He turned his back on both of the people who he trusted the most and sobbed silently into his hands. Even in this state, his pride made him hide his weakness. He felt that his emotions were… inferior. Like those experiences that _ he _ had paled in comparison to those of Loki or Frigga. 

_ I failed again_. 

“No,” a quiet voice said. Thor turned and saw his mother stare at them both. He was startled by the intensity in her glare. 

“Loki,” she began, a dangerous tone in her voice. “You can say you hate me. You can claim you are a monster. But do not ever-” She pointed at Loki, whose expression went from sorrowful satisfaction to surprise. “-_ ever _say I do not love you. You think because this has been done to you, you have been killed, you aren’t fully Asgardian, you've been used and I have seen it all- that this makes me hate you. Am I wrong?”

Loki’s mouth opened and closed. He gave a look similar to Thor, as his eyes drifted to the floor shamefully. He shook his head. Frigga was breathing hard. She took a deep breath, calming herself. She walked by Thor to Loki. She stood in front of him and placed her hand on his cheek. He flinched but allowed her to do it. When she placed her hand on his cheek, the blue, Frost Giant skin changed back to his pale, Asgardian form. She placed her other hand on the other cheek, and the same transformation happened.

“I will always _ love _you, Loki,” she whispered. She turned to Thor and gestured him to walk to Loki. Thor obeyed, and when he hugged Loki, he began to cry again.

_ Why? _ Thor thought as he smiled. _ Why am I crying again? _

_ You’re happy. _Frigga’s voice resonated in his head.

Thor smiled and gripped Loki and his mother. He watched as Loki's blue skin faded and his Asgardian skin flood his face, arms and neck. His robes came back, and Loki began to cry again, too. Frigga shushed them both.

“I’m so sorry,” Loki whispered hoarsely.

“You’re happy,” she whispered. “You’re happy that we are all here, one last time.”

Loki didn't seem like he liked that explanation, but he and Thor nodded together, then they all pulled apart. Frigga placed a hand on each of their faces affectionately, then turned when the door burst open.

“THOR!” Rabbit said as he ran into the room. “I got it!”

“Who is this?” Frigga asked.

“This is the Rabbit,” Thor gestured to Frigga. “Rabbit, this is my mother.”

“Charmed,” the Rabbit panted. “Loki, Thor, we have to go. The guy with the massive sword said that I have less than one minute to get us out of here.”

Thor wasn’t ready to go. He turned to his mother. He opened his mouth to speak, but she shushed him.

“I know,” she smiled. Thor smiled back, and gave her a massive hug, putting in all the regret, anger, shame, and depression that he had felt and tried to express the happiness he had felt just now. He released Frigga and looked at her smiling face.

“Thor, make sure you eat a salad,” she patted his belly and pulled Loki away to talk to him privately. Thor looked at his belly warily and poked it softly.

_ Maybe a salad might do me some good. _

He glanced as Loki and Frigga broke apart from their hug and walked back to Thor. Thor smiled and clapped Loki on the shoulder. The rabbit began the countdown, then Thor remembered something. 

“WAIT!” Thor shouted. He took a deep breath, then shot his hand towards the balcony window.

“What’s he doing?” the Rabbit asked.

“It takes a second,” Frigga answered.

Right as she said that, the familiar boom and whistling air was the sign that Thor’s iconic weapon, the tool of Kings, the hammer of awesomeness, Mjolnir was being summoned to Thor’s hand. Thor caught it, and a smile broke out.

“I’m still worthy!” Thor exclaimed. The rabbit and Loki rolled their eyes, then they all activated their suits and zipped from Asgard and flew through the blue and white tunnels of the Quantum Realm.


	13. Sabotaged

Loki

Loki hesitated when he was pulled aside, but he knew he needed to talk to Frigga. Guilt was churning in his stomach. Insatiable, raw, pure guilt. He was scared. He was vulnerable. His mother had broken into his vault of secrets and memories, and she’d flayed him. He had never wanted her to go there, but now… she knew  _ everything. _

He felt his shoulders draw together at the touch of Frigga’s hand on his back, guiding him to a more secluded place to talk. Loki’s eyes travelled to his hands, now restored to their pale colour. He concentrated, and his left hand went blue, and navy runes carved along the ridges and contours of his wrist, up to his fingers.

“Loki,” Frigga spoke, and he looked back up. “You truly think yourself a monster? Did you mean what you said?”

He flickered his eyes downwards again. Frost Giant. He couldn’t forget that. He was a god, too. Asgardian, maybe. But nothing could remove the fact that he was Jotun. All his life, he’d been told one thing. Odin had always said one thing.

_ Jotunheim is a place of monsters. The Frost Giants are monsters. _

_ I am a Frost Giant. _

Before that woman softened his heart, Thor had wanted the Frost Giants dead, too. Loki had tried to blot out the entire race to appease the Allfather. To prove that he was like Odin. Like Thor. To reconcile for being as unworthy as he was, Loki had attempted to destroy all evidence of it. So did he think that he was a monster?

“Yes,” Loki replied, studying the runes and markings on his hand.

Frigga looked saddened. “Everything you said?”

Loki glared, stepping back from her. “I said I was sorry.”

“You wanted to say more, my son.”

“I…” He bit his lip and felt his face screw up. His barely silenced sobs hiccuped up again. He looked at his two hands, side by side, and they both shook violently. “I lied.”

Frigga waited for him to continue, patiently observing as Loki struggled to form words. For being so named Silvertongue, he seemed to be doing quite a lot of stammering recently.

“I  _ am _ a monster,” He went on, finally. “I am, but I  _ don’t _ hate you and I never have.”

His hands flitted pointlessly through the air. “I just- I thought that you would… Mother, you saw what happened. You know everything that I’ve done.  _ Everything.  _ And yet you can still say that you love me? You can manage to find enough pity in your heart for this? What of loathing? Do you harbour no hatred?”

“I love you,” Frigga said simply. “It angers me what has been done to you. It pains me to think of how low you’ve been brought, and I am sad for the choices you’ve made because of it.”

Loki rocked back and forth on his heels, shivering, as per usual.

“But you are no monster and I will never hate you.” His mother placed his hands in hers, and Loki’s altered hand went back to normal once more. “Nothing could change that.”

He steeled himself to ice, refusing to break down any more than he already had. “But you know what happens today. You know who is responsible for it.”

“I do,” Frigga’s voice was impossibly calm.

Loki matched her coolness of tone, remaining shielded. “I kill you.”

“My son,” Frigga touched his cheek again, tracing the hard edges of his cheekbone. “This is why I had to enter your mind. You use your guilt as a weapon and your pain as a shield. I can see that you’ve grown, but you still don’t understand yourself.”

Loki closed his eyes tightly. He could say nothing.

Frigga continued. “You are not responsible for my fate, Loki.”

“But-” Loki tried to argue.

“You are your own worst enemy.” Frigga scolded him. “Have you ever considered that?”

He looked away. “I see nothing worthy of love.”

“But I do.” His mother said again. “Do you trust me, my son?”

Loki exhaled, and his whole body slumped forward. Frigga’s hand went to the back of his head and guided him to her shoulder. He laid his head down, held his mother tightly, and she held him even closer. He felt a gradual pulling on his hair, and Loki winced in pain.

“I asked you a question, Loki.”

He rolled his eyes, and Frigga, sensing it somehow, tugged harder.

“Ow-!” Loki yelped as his head was pulled back. “Yes-  _ yes, _ Mother, I trust you.”

The hold on his hair relaxed to a comfortable grip. “Remember, I am always with you. I love you, my son.”

“I love you, too, Mother.” Loki felt hot tears pool in the corners of his eyes, but that time, they were tears of happiness.

Frigga let him go, and her eyes looked over him one last time. “While your brother is working on his salad, I think you should go on and pick at some of  _ his  _ food, Loki. You’re looking a bit peaky.”

Loki laughed weakly, wiping his eyes.

Frigga held up a finger. “And always remember: make mischief, not trouble.”

“Mischief, not trouble,” Loki repeated, grinning sheepishly.

Frigga patted his cheek. “Good boy.”

Loki’s smile grew even wider, and he felt like a child again. He  _ was  _ happy. Frigga walked back to the rabbit and Thor, and when they saw him coming, their time travelling suits materialised over their clothes, and the rabbit began counting down. Loki was pleased to have his Asgardian robes back again, with his emerald and teal fabric, his yellow and silver embellishments, and his black leather. Thank the Norns for no more stupid baggy jeans and dirty yellow sweatshirts. Thor probably told Stark of his fashion preferences and collaboratively, they had set him up nicely. Loki pressed a button and it shimmered away until he was again wearing the uniform suit.

“WAIT!” Thor shouted, suddenly, and the talking rabbit stopped his countdown.

His big brother stuck out his arm to the open window and waited silently. Loki exchanged expressions with his mother, who shook her head but curved up her lips fondly.

The rabbit seemed annoyed. “What’s he doing?”

“It takes a second,” Frigga told the rabbit.

And it did. Loki kicked his heels and cleared his throat as, for a painfully long time, Thor stood there with his legs planted and his arm above his head. Truth be told, Loki didn’t know whether or not Thor was still worthy of the not-yet-destroyed Mjolnir. A small, dark part of him almost hoped his drunken, blubbering, reduced to disaster God of Thunder wasn’t worthy of it. That would teach him better than to mourn for Loki’s death.

He felt one side of his mouth tilt wickedly. Frigga tutted at him quietly and Loki forced back a straight face until finally, at long last, Mjolnir smashed unceremoniously through several things, probably scared a few servants along the way, and whirred into Thor’s outstretched hand. Loki had never seen the familiar lighting up of his brother’s face since before he’d been resurrected- until that very moment.

“YES!” Thor pumped his fist ecstatically into the air, smiled the most ridiculous smile, and shouted in a breathless voice- “I’m still worthy!”

Loki rolled his eyes towards the ceiling for what felt like the millionth time, and the rabbit began counting down again. He took one last moment with his mother to lock eyes. She nodded at him, and Loki dipped his head back, with a determination to make her proud. Not sarcastically, but  _ really _ proud. He knew Frigga would be watching over them in Valhalla.

When they vanished to the portal through space and time, Loki whispered to her his last goodbye. He heard her voice in his head, and he heard her bid the same.

They appeared back in whatever year the present was, and Loki immediately turned his clothes back to his new, Asgardian armour, still glad beyond words for it. He scanned his eyes over each of the returning groups, spotting some glowing form of the Infinity Stones with each of them. They’d done it. They had every stone.

He froze up when he saw the Tesseract. Its blue glow had haunted him for years, and the recent reminder was doing him no favours. Loki stared at it, caught in a haze of having both murderous and rebelliously desirous thoughts towards that very particular Infinity Stone. Most of him filled with flaming hatred, but whatever was still mangled in his mind fluttered with a lust-like, craving want- no. No, it was an absolute, bloodthirsty  _ need- _ and Loki couldn’t shake it from the back of his head. He cursed Thanos and his mind control. His brainwashing and puppet making. The humiliation of being degraded so thoroughly with the absence of his own free will.

Yet, the muddled, corrupted remnants of what Thanos did still polluted Loki’s mind and warped his heart to something it didn’t want to be. Loki’s lips parted, and the cold light began to colour his vision like stained glass. He could take it back. The Tesseract could be his. What would happen if he tried? He’d gotten stronger. It was lucky that he’d been beaten last time. He could hear the stone’s power pulsing in his ears. Loki could hardly see straight, and every time he blinked, a vibrant shade of cerulean flashed, then lingered, so that each time he re-opened his eyes it became more intense.

His lashes fluttered. Loki could almost taste a drop of the drugged intoxication he knew all too well. Of having that power. Of being that power. Even being  _ controlled _ by that power- it still gave him a glimpse of it. He could have it back. They’d never see it coming.

His fingers twitched at his side, and the corrupted data of his brain started to hack the whole system. Thanos had once told Loki that he’d never be able to make him leave, and, as Loki beheld the Tesseract once more, despite all the hurt it had caused him, he couldn’t help but consider the possibility that perhaps Thanos was right.

“Brother,” Thor spoke quietly in his ear.

Numbly, Loki felt the large, battle-beaten paw of his brother’s hand taking his longer, more nimble fingers into his own. When he paid it no mind, Thor tightened his grip.

“You’ve gone ice-cold again.” Thor’s voice was so quiet it was nearly impossible to hear. “Your eyes… Loki…”

Loki half-heartedly tried to pull away his hand. Thor whispered his name again and didn’t let go. He only pulled harder.

“Stop,” Loki murmured, dimly noticing the slurred quality in his tone.

Everything looked blue. He didn’t know how, but it was happening again. It was still inside of him, somewhere, and it wanted to make itself known. A loud thud distracted him, and Loki tore his eyes from the Tesseract to look at Barton, whose face was hollow.

Banner-Hulk stepped towards him. “Clint, where’s Nat?” He asked.

But Barton did not answer. Loki remembered from when he had controlled him, how much Barton had cared for Natasha. And he could tell by the look on his face, by the horror in his eyes, that Natasha was dead. It registered, but dimly- still only enough to distract him a bit more.

What was Romanoff to him?

Loki frowned at that last thought. Even for him, even though it was probably true, the thought felt rather wrong.

The room had fallen silent. In mourning. Everyone was beginning to grasp the fact that an Avenger had fallen. There was no getting her back. What a chance it was, while the others basked in their sentimental frailty, to take back the Tesseract. His world was only cerulean. Thanos was living on in his mind. Loki wondered if he was indeed possessed. His wrongness was even considering _ liking _ that possibility.

_ I love you.  _ Frigga’s melodic voice suddenly flooded Loki’s mind, and he saw her amber eyes, going against the blue vision he had.  _ It angers me what has been done to you. It pains me to think of how low you’ve been brought, and I am sad for the choices you’ve made because of it. _

Loki felt his head drop onto his chest. Thor’s hand quickly moved there and held him upright. He hoped the others thought he was merely stricken with grief.

_ Remember, I am always with you. _

Loki felt his eyes roll back into his head. Thanos’ deep, unnerving voice spoke over his mother- louder and more intense.

_ You are mine. _

Loki couldn’t help a low groan. He slumped further.

_ My actions. _

He didn’t want the Titan in his head. He wanted him to stop talking.

_ I love you, my son. _

Loki snapped open his eyes again. Nothing was glowing blue anymore. Scared, he looked to Thor, who was staring back at him as if trying to decide whether this was another one of Loki’s  _ episodes  _ or something more. He noticed how blue Thor’s eyes were. If he stared long enough, he was sure the twisted remains could make them glow. Loki stepped back, hastily, shaking his head. Thor’s face pulled slightly, in a very mixed up expression. Loki stopped staring at his brother and looked around at the group. They were all mourning. Loki knew he didn’t belong there. He couldn’t be a part of it.

He turned on heel and strode out of the main, large area of the ground floor. He was _ not _ looking at the Tesseract again and he was _ not _ rejoining the group until they’d had enough time to recover from the blow Loki simply couldn’t feel personal about. He needed a distraction.

Asian food sounded nice.

Loki teleported in a flash of viridescent light.

.....

The shop was small, and the Midgardians stared at him, some clearly trying to work out whether or not he was actually Loki, actually alive, and whether or not he was going to kill them all for the fun of it. Possibly demand the whole place to kneel. Bellow some lunatic’s speech about freedom and lies and his own divineness.

Loki folded his arms tightly around himself, waiting behind a couple to order his food. He squinted at the large board that listed his options of food, trying to use the pictures to decipher what was best. In the end, he went for a combination of what looked good and what he thought sounded the most interesting to try.

Loki, who had left the Avengers’ complex in haste, was still wearing his fairly elaborate Asgardian armour. He couldn’t remember being so on edge about Midgard. It’s not like the mortals could do anything to him. Loki cocked his head jauntily and attempted for casually… casual. He couldn’t seem like he was faking casual, but he also couldn’t seem too casual because then the Midgardians could view him as non-threatening and decide to open their mouths, likely in insults. He also couldn’t seem too threatening, however, because then the stupid mortals would  _ still _ have an adverse reaction.

Loki noticed, as he warily eyed the Midgardians, that he was very noticeably taller than every single one of them. In fact, he probably couldn’t have been a more stark beacon if he tried. He puffed out a breath of irritation at himself. He had magic. It really wouldn’t have killed him to disguise himself as some nobody, or at least put on an illusion of different clothing. It was too late now, but Loki supposed he had been a bit- well- a bit compromised when he’d made the decision to vanish here. The only thing on his mind was leaving, and as fast as possible.

He had absolutely no idea why he teleported himself to this random street corner, but he had, and now he’d fully committed himself to order from  _ Pho Bubble Tea,  _ no matter what. Loki resumed his attention and stepped up to the counter, where a small, elderly woman was standing, gaping up at him.

“For here… or to go?”

“I won’t be eating it here.” Loki responded, hoping he made sense. “I’d like to take it and then leave.”

That was bad. But, it had been a few hundred years since he’d actually went to Midgard and really…  _ interacted _ with them, so he hardly knew any of their customs anymore.

The woman’s head slowly tilted to one side. “To go. And you want…?”

Loki pointed to the board behind her. “The third one down in the centre column. And the bottom right to drink.”

“You want the Phở Gà and…” The woman punched in a few things on a strange machine. “Strawberry bubble tea?”

Loki nodded mutely.

“You want tapioca?” The old Midgardian woman asked, without looking up.

Loki opened his mouth, then frowned. He stared at the pictures and tried to decipher what she meant the tapioca was. Had he had it before? He knew he’d arrived at one of the Asian places in the area, but there were so many kinds of Asian cuisine, and Loki didn’t think he’d had this  _ particular _ branch.

His mother had told him about this once before, and he remembered her telling him that since he had enjoyed the miso soup so much during one of his secretive visits to Midgard, he would probably like this, too. But what was tapioca? The cream? The floating balls of… something? The flavour?

“The black pearls in the tea.” The woman seemed, underneath her timidity, eager to get the business over and done with.

Loki raised his brows in surprise. “You put pearls in this?”

“They’re not real pearls.” The Midgardian explained. “You eat them.”

Loki wrinkled his nose. “I eat fake pearls…?”

“They’re good.” The woman informed him dryly, tapping at the machine again.

Loki shrugged a shoulder, resigned. “I’ll have those, then.”

“Fifteen twenty-seven.” The elderly worker extended her hand, dark eyes searching over him. “How are you paying?”

Now here was something Loki remembered. He extended his arm and twisted his palm so that it was exposed upwards to the air. In a shimmer of green, Midgardian money from the region materialised in his hand. Loki held it out to the woman, who was gawking again.

He sighed. “I just stored it in a pocket dimension. Take it.”

The woman didn’t take the money. She only continued to stare at him. Loki pushed his hand out further, but the silence dragged on and the woman still did nothing. He decided then that he’d had enough waiting, so Loki flipped over his hand, and the green, crisp paper fluttered and danced gracefully down to the counter. He dropped his arm and waited. Eventually, and without taking her eyes off of him, the woman slowly pulled the money towards herself and began counting it. Loki watched her intently.

“Is it enough?” He asked.

The woman nodded.

“Thank you,” Loki told her blandly, moving away from the ordering line and to the pick-up counter. “Keep whatever is left over.”

The Midgardian woman held up her hand as if to say something, but decided against it, and in the end, Loki stood, arms folded again, and waited for his meal. When his purchased food was ready, Loki picked up the bag and the cup with his bubble tea, then walked straight out the door, the bell tinkling behind him as he left.

He sipped on the pink drink, one of the fake pearl things popping through the straw and into his mouth. Loki bit down on it, and thoughtfully considered the experience. Strange, but he liked it. He’d have to try and get Thor addicted to bubble tea instead of mead. Addictions weren’t good, Loki knew that, but if it was an improvement from the drinking, he’d happily let his brother get addicted to some nicer drink that tasted better, too.

Speaking of, Loki couldn’t stay away from the complex for long. Apparently, there was a gauntlet to build and a whole half of a universe to summon back to life. Loki still wasn’t fully aware of what happened, other than that Thanos had won and he’d done so by snapping his oversized fingers whilst wearing the completed gauntlet.

Thankfully, his older brother had killed Thanos, which meant another one of Loki’s greatest torments was gone. Odin, Thanos… the unpleasantness of his relationships with them was left behind, but they themselves were dead. All Loki had left to do was make a point of ignoring the scars left behind, and be sure to remind himself that the scars were his own fault because that explanation didn’t allow for him to mourn and whimper in some delusion of self-pity. He knew he’d been broken- that had been well established. But Loki also knew he’d allowed for it to happen. Another thing that was his own doing. He vanished from the street.

Loki re-appeared at the complex, expecting the Avengers to be there, but when he arrived, it was completely deserted. Slowly, and with every footstep echoing throughout the large space, he walked to the nearest counter and set down the bag and drink. He narrowed his eyes and surveyed the room again. There really was no one there.

From outside, there was a sudden, loud shout, and Loki jumped and turned around. Outside of the large panel of windows, on what appeared to be a dock, Banner-Hulk seemed back to being unreasonable. Loki would definitely be avoiding him. He swallowed and took in the rest of the group. Everyone was accounted for. And they were still mourning, which meant that he still couldn’t come near.

Thor shifted stances, raking his fingers through his beard. Loki watched him, contemplative until his brother’s eyes locked in on him. For a split second, they stared at each other, and he saw Thor’s eyes dawn underneath his sadness with the same confusion from earlier- when Loki had once again been reminded that he was still weak to Thanos’ control, and he could never be a real hero.

He straightened and stepped back, grabbing his food and vanishing to his quarters- but first, he did stop next door to raid his brother’s clothing, and  _ then  _ he went to his room, slamming the door behind him. Loki simplified things and used magic to assist him in removing his robes so that he could slip into the comfort of Thor’s oversized sweatpants and t-shirt. He waved his hand and his soup- well, his  _ pho-  _ floated over to him.

Loki curled up onto the bed and reached out his hands to take the warm container into them. He ate his way through the meal slowly, taking his time to enjoy and measure his own fullness because, unlike his brother, Loki had very tight limits as far as his appetite went. But it was alright. He was in need of soup that day. Loki liked the soup because it reminded him of the soup his mother would make for him, and it had always brought solace when he needed it most.

How ashamed she would be of him.  _ Should  _ be of him. Frigga had sounded astoundingly convincing when she said that she wasn’t ashamed of Loki, but he wondered if she knew her heart didn’t fall in line with her head. Loki brought the bowl to his lips and steadily sipped down the hot broth. Yes, he knew that Frigga, in her head, believed that Loki was still worth something, but he was entirely certain of the one irrefutable fact that it was utterly impossible for Frigga to believe that in her heart. The evidence of Loki’s corruption was too blatant. Too much to ignore, and his mother was no fool.

Even Thor had it figured out. While Loki had used to his advantage time and time again that his elder brother was naive, foolish, and still found love in his heart for Loki, Thor had become hardened over the years, and he now was at a point of indifference. When Loki betrayed him, when he did him a blow, Thor only shook his head and informed Loki that he was frustrated, disappointed, but not surprised and well beyond trying to repair the damage.

Loki wished Thor was more the fool that he used to be. He was no less of a fool now, but he was of a different kind. At least Thor used to be an optimistic face in the presence of darkness, even when Loki did his worst or the worst came down on them both. But now his brother’s light was dim and barely still flickering.

Loki moved his bowl of soup and his tea to the nightstand beside his bed, then rose from it again and began to pace the room. Perhaps  _ he  _ should make an effort to think more positively. At least Thor seemed to have, in attitude, somewhat improved since Loki had rejoined him.

And then there was that exchange between his mother and Thor. What was it that she had told him? She knew and had spoken to Thor regarding Loki’s… deaths. And his brother felt the blame for them? How could he really?

Loki stopped in his circling when he heard the clattering and moving around of life resuming its occupation of the complex. He glanced down at himself. No more sweatpants and t-shirts in public, especially if they were Thor’s that he’d borrowed without asking.

Tiredly, he twisted his fingers and robed himself in the armour he’d been given, his seidr mildly protesting at how much magic he’d used that day. Loki winced. His seidr- his magic- was a part of him. It always took a toll to drain himself so frequently in such a short period of time.

He chose to take the stairs down, and when Loki arrived on the scene, the Avengers were tense, running about, calling out orders, saying prayers, and muttering fears. He travelled between the groups, observing from a reserved distance. His brother he still kept away from. He didn’t want to be questioned about anything.

Loki eventually ended up with Stark and… Banner-Hulk, who still scared him slightly. He watched as they created a new gauntlet, building each delicate piece with careful technological precision. Loki stayed for most of the process, out of intrigue, but when they pulled out the Tesseract to insert its stone, he made a swift exit and opted instead for traversing the building with little purpose.

He was walking for quite some time, doing nothing but thinking. Thanos wouldn’t quit his mind, just as the Titan had promised, and Loki hated how right he’d been. He was so glad that Thanos was gone. Warily, his attention piqued when he saw movement from the corner of his eye. Loki turned his head to see the strange, intense blue woman, and she was sneaking around the building’s main level.

Loki frowned at Nebula from his hidden area in a narrow hallway, behind and to the left of her. She looked wrong. Suspicious, even. He took his chance to examine her, finding nothing immediately amiss besides her mannerism- but that itself was so amiss, he just couldn’t ignore it. She had something wrapped tightly in her hand, and when she turned her head to the side, Loki could see her whispering words. Talking to someone.

He heard shouting start from the room with the Avengers and the gauntlet. He listened closely and saw Nebula freeze up too, then tilt her head in interest. The listening all ended, though, when another sound caught them off guard. They both jumped when all the doors slammed with metal barricades that covered every exit, and Loki used that opportunity to duck and roll behind one of the counters, getting a better view of Nebula as she ran towards the control system nearby and bent over it, fingers dancing to work against it.

She was sabotaging them.

Loki jumped out from his hiding spot and sprinted towards her with every intention to tackle her to the ground. With a weak spark from the controls and a declining noise of system failure, the hangar doors that had just been closed all opened up again. Nebula swivelled around and saw him, but she muttered one last thing into her communication device and took her attention from him, looking through the windows and to the sky.

Loki skidded, forgetting the blue woman for a moment to follow her gaze. When he saw what it was, his throat went dry. He knew that ship. It was Thanos. Somehow- just as Loki had, the dead had been brought back to life.

He looked back at Nebula, who smirked darkly at him and shrugged her shoulders.

“What have you done?” Loki roared. “WHAT HAVE YOU-”

Nebula raised a handgun and fired, grazing his right shoulder. He cried out and grabbed the wound, pulling his hand away to see blood coating it. Seething, Loki flung a dagger at her, but the blue woman was already streaking off in the opposite direction.

Thor. The others. They were more important. Thanos’ ship was looming above them, casting a shadow over the entire sky. His ship’s weapons were beginning to glow, charging for one, massive hit. Loki shook his head, whimpered, then ran as fast as he could towards the room where the Avengers had secured themselves and slammed his fists on the door.

“LET ME IN!” He screamed, banging against the cold metal. “THANOS IS HERE- LOCK THE DOORS, YOU MUST LOCK THE-”

Energy from the ship’s beams began to vibrate the ground beneath his feet, and Loki turned around to see Thanos’ ship, firing all it had at the Avengers compound. Loki threw himself to the ground and covered his arms above his head, the sound of shattering glass and tearing metal splintering in deafening screeches as the explosions hit the building. 

Loki looked down at the ground and saw the cement beginning to crack open. Frantically, he crawled away from it, scrambling to whatever form of safety he could find. A pipe above him crashed down and landed on his legs, pinning him to the ground. Truly afraid now, Loki clawed with his hands to work his way free, but he couldn’t move. Straining to look behind him, he used his magic to lift the pipe and the attached concrete from his legs and throw it away from him. But no sooner had he gotten it off than shards of glass came from his right and threw him into the wall.

He was dazed, but still conscious. Loki, clutching his injured shoulder, inched along the crumbling walls and braced himself when more explosions began to rain down on them. He couldn’t heal. He’d used up too much of his magic, and Loki was feeling lashings of panic. In seconds, the building was being reduced to nothing, and when a sharp, loud cracking sounded directly above his head, Loki turned his eyes to the source of the noise and stared at it. An entire wall was falling, and it was falling down onto him. He had no time to move- there was nowhere  _ to  _ move- he was trapped-

“No- no, no, no- NO!” He was pleading with no purpose- the wall was still coming down, so he curled into himself, again throwing up his arms over his head, but the building collapsed on top of him. He saw the light of day being blocked from sight, rubble piling higher, then something hit his head and Loki was knocked out.


	14. Mourning and Memory

Thor

Thor landed on the glass floor of the time machine. As he removed his helmet, he looked around and made sure everyone was accounted for.

_ War Machine, Stark, Steve, Banner, Barton, Nebula, the rabbit, the Ant-Man… where is Natasha? _

“Clint?” Banner asked. “Where’s Nat?”

Barton stood there silently and looked to be on the verge of tears. He tightened his face, trying to hold back the sadness.

“She…” Barton turned and looked at the warehouse wall, avoiding the teams’ gazes. “She didn’t make it.”

The silence in the room was deafening. No one moved. No one spoke. Thor held his breath.

_ Natasha… _dead?

Thor glanced to Steve, whose face was in a tight grimace. Stark had a similar expression. Nebula remained expressionless, which Thor thought was odd, but didn't dwell on it too much. The rest of the team had the same, mixed expressions of grief, sadness and confusion. Hulk kneeled and Thor watched his arm raise up, about to slam into the glass floor, but at the last second, the tension seemed to leave the arm, and it fell down and made a dull thud.

_ Now they know how I feel_.

Thor felt ashamed for thinking that, but was he wrong? He has seen his brother die three times. He watched his mother die, his father die, one of his best friends impaled, his people decimated. One acquaintance was nothing, _ nothing_, compared to that. He remembered that Banner and Natasha had a thing going, which made the shame of that comment boil a bit more, but still… 

“Hey Stark,” the Ant-Man said. His voice echoed in the silent warehouse. “Did you get the, uh-” He snapped his fingers, trying to find the word. “-Tesseract. Yeah, the Tesseract.”

“Hm?” Stark turned his head. “Oh, yeah. Here.” He pulled out the case and opened it, revealing a small, light blue, glowing cube.

Thor glanced at Loki and saw him leaning in. There was something wrong. Loki looked wrong. He was staring too hard, but his eyes weren't quite open, dulled over almost as if he were in a trance. His jaw had gone slack. After a few seconds, his head slumped down and his body began to sway. Thor tried to get his attention, to see what was happening, but his little brother was unresponsive. Loki groaned and fell heavier into his arms.

“Loki-” Thor murmured as he caught Loki by his chest and the scruff of his neck. He examined his brother, and Thor’s stomach flipped when Loki’s eyes shined blue, a familiar insanity, then went back to green just as fast.

Loki looked at Thor with a mix of horror and confusion. He pushed Thor’s hands off of him and walked away towards his room. Thor reached out in an attempt to try and talk to him, but Loki seemed to want his time alone to think.

_ To think_.

Thor needed to think as well. Like, how they were going to get Natasha back. He pulled a Modelo’s from his pocket and took a sip, but as the alcohol dripped down his throat, he found he didn’t have a craving for it. Thor set it down and followed Steve, Tony, Banner and Barton down to the lake west of the complex.

.....

They stood there for what seemed like hours. Silently, Banner stood on the edge of the dock, staring out towards the trees. Thor saw that he was unsuccessfully holding back tears. He looked over at Barton, his face flushed. He wiped his nose and eyes. Steve sat down on one of the chairs and began to cry silently. Tony stood stiffly, the grieving grimace still on his face. Thor was surprised at this amount of mourning.

“Hold on,” he said. “We have all the stones. We can just-” He snapped his fingers. “-bring her back.”

“We can’t,” Barton murmured. He ran his fingers through his mohawk and a couple of tears leaked out of his eyes. He wiped them away.

“Well,” Thor scoffed. “I’m not sure that you understand, as you are a mortal, but this is _ magic-_”

“Yeah, this might be above my pay grade,” Barton turned to Thor, a frustrated tone to his voice. “But the floating guy said ‘a soul for a soul.’”

Barton’s lower lip trembled.

“It was supposed to be me.”

Thor didn’t understand, as he had never been to Vormir. 

_ A soul for a soul. _

Thor glanced to Banner. Banner suddenly turned, grabbed the bench and hurled it as far as he could. Heaving, Banner turned and looked at the rest of the team.

“She’s not coming back,” Banner breathed. Thor opened his mouth, about to berate Banner with his magic logic, but decided he had no clue what he was talking about and shut up. “We have to make it count.”

Steve stood up and looked at the team. Thor turned his head and Steve’s powerful presence as a leader compelled Thor to listen. 

“We’re gonna make it count,” he said as he stood, shoulders back. “If there is one thing we can all agree to do this for, it’s for Natasha.” There was a general murmur of agreement.

“Alright,” Steve continued, turning to Tony. “What’s your plan for the stones?”

Tony rubbed his chin thoughtfully, turned to Banner, Barton and Thor and looked back. “Gonna probably get Banner and the racoon and try to figure out how to channel the power without massacring my tech. Bruce, you up for it?”

Banner sniffed, wiped his eyes and exhaled. “Yeah, I’m up for it.”

“Great,” Stark clapped his hands. “Let’s get started on that as soon as we can. Let’s go find that racoon.” 

Thor glanced and saw Loki standing on the hill overlooking the lake. Thor started to pull his hand up but pulled it back down. Loki had turned and walked away. 

_ It was my fault_.

Thor began to walk back towards the complex. As he looked around, he saw a large oak tree off into the distance, near the fence line. He needed to think, so he headed down there. As he approached the tree, he realized how lonely he felt. How empty he was. Why? Why did he feel empty and lonely? His brother was back, he saw his mother one last time. Why did he feel that way?

Suddenly, Thor’s vision grew black. He reached out blindly, trying to grab whatever was nearby to stabilise himself. As he was grabbing, his vision was restored, and he saw… him. It was a younger version of himself, standing before Odin.

_ Your brother’s death was not your fault. _

_ Then why do I feel such loss? _

Thor remembered this conversation. It happened shortly after the destruction of the first Bifrost. Shortly after Loki disappeared for the first time.

_ You are a child. You need to show greater strength to your duties. Grief has no place in your heart. In order to rule justly, you must not allow emotions to cloud your judgement. _

_ Father, I- _

_ Here, drink this. It will stop the pain and help you focus. _

Odin conjured a small, blue vial, filled with some kind of amber liquid. Thor popped the stopper and sniffed. It smelt of… silence. And rubber. Thor drank. He groaned, as the mixture burned his nostrils, his chest, and gave him a massive headache. As soon as the potion reached his stomach, however, all the pain ceased. He couldn’t remember what he was upset about, but that liquid seemed to give him a sense of duty and focus.

_ Thor, go to Jotunheim. It is time to finalise a treaty with the Frost Giants. If you cannot do it diplomatically, do it by force. _

_ Yes, Father. _

The scene changed as Thor watched himself leave the hall. He turned around and saw the younger version, covered in muck and other fluids, sitting in front of Frigga.

_ It’s all a fog, but I can’t help and remember Loki. I… did something to him. _

_ Did your father give you a vial containing amber liquid? _

_ Yes. _

_ He has given it to me as well, when certain arguments between us go… south. It helps me control my emotions, but for you, it seemed to blur the emotions and memories of your brother. Let me help you. _

Frigga pulled a green bottle out of her pocket. A white liquid was held within it. Thor drank, and all of a sudden, memories flooded him. Of the pudding, of the sparring matches, of Midgard and the Destroyer and Loki.

_ Father tried to make me forget? _

_ Yes. _

The scene changed once again. Thor saw this room as Odin’s office, where his younger version was yelling at him.

_ It was for your own good. _

_ You tried to make me forget I had a brother. _

_ Your emotions were tied too closely to Loki. Any memory loss is not my fault. _

_ But you foresaw this? _

_ Yes. _

Thor felt a bubble of rage that he hadn’t felt since Thanos killed Loki. His younger version seemed to feel the same thing.

_ It’s YOUR fault that Loki is gone. _

Odin slammed the book he was reading shut, threw it on his desk, then stared young Thor in the eyes. Even now, Thor flinched. His father terrified him.

_ Who was the one who was sent to Midgard? Who was the one that believed the lie that I was dead? Who was the one that fought him and helped create the portal that killed him?! _

Thor froze. He felt the guilt he had felt all those years ago. But combined with Thanos and the Dark Elves and Odin…

_ Odin_…

Thor suddenly had a flurry of visions. His brother, chained to a rock and beaten by Thanos. Thor cried out, but no one could hear him. Another scene passed where Loki was pierced by knives and burned. Thor yelled out to try to comfort him, but no one heard him. He watched as Thanos took the sceptre and pierced Loki’s chest, turning his soft green eyes into a deadly blue shade. Thor went to grab him, but there was nothing to grab.

This was a memory, which meant that it had happened.

Then more visions came: New York, Thor taking him into Asgardian custody, the prison cell. Then, he saw Loki screaming. He saw him in a state he had never seen before: pure and utter despair. Thor reached out, again, to try and comfort his brother, but all he felt was smoke. 

_ Mother! MOTHER! _

Loki shrieked to the top of his lungs. Thor recoiled and tears hung in his eyes and began to streak down his face. His brother, again in pain, but nothing he could do. 

_ It is all my fault. _

The scene shifted again. Thor and Loki stood in Thor’s private room aboard the spaceship they had used to escape Asgard.

_ You know, if you were really here, I might even give you a hug. _

Thor threw a crystal stopper at Loki, expecting it to phase through him. Loki caught it.

_ I’m here_.

Thor walked over and fully embraced Loki. He felt Loki’s arms also tighten around Thor. Thor felt happy. He had never felt so happy in his life.

Then the alarm sounded. The red lights, the sound of explosions, Thor and Loki raced to the landing bay, where the explosions first occurred. The Asgardian soldiers, what few there were, armed themselves with guns and swords and prepared to make a defence. Thor felt the electricity leaking out of him. He turned and saw Loki striding, keeping up with him, his hands beginning to glow green with his magic. 

The Asgardian people huddled into a back corner of the landing bay. There was chaos everywhere. The fire was burning, bodies were falling and Thor was losing his people just as he got them. He yelled and charged and summoned a massive lightning strike, taking out infantry. He punched, kicked and shocked all who came before him. All of a sudden, a massive fist slammed the side of his head and he went flying into the wall. Thor blinked and saw a massive purple fist close around his face. Thor squirmed and struggled and yelled to get free. As the fear rose inside of him, he began shooting lightning everywhere.

_ Just hit something. _

He felt the hand pull his head up, then slam it into the metal floor. Thor coughed up blood, then looked up to see who dared to fight the God of Thunder. What he saw chilled him. Eight feet tall, purple, muscles as big as the Hulk's and holding a golden glove in his left hand, Thor recognized who this was:

_ Thanos._

The next scene happened in a blur. Thanos grabbed Thor by the throat and dragged him towards Loki. Loki said some things, the Hulk got beaten. Thanos blew up the ship and snapped Loki’s neck. As Thor watched this with tears streaming down his face, he suddenly found himself under the oak tree, wearing his Crocs and hoodie. He wiped his eyes. 

_ Loki. I’m sorry. _

He didn’t understand. He didn’t know. He had no idea how selfish he was. But that didn’t matter now. He needed to find Loki, if for no other reason than just to be with him. Thor turned and ran back to the facility.

.....

Thor walked in the facility and strode across the warehouse. He turned left and glanced in the laboratory. Banner was calling out for something, as the rabbit was fiddling with the positioning of the stones and Stark was looking at some computer screen and touching it, changing the colour on the screen. Thor didn’t stay and lurk. He had to find Loki.

He got to the hallway that had all the rooms. He looked at the room that Loki was in and he stood there. He took a deep breath and held his hand up to knock on the door. His hand froze. What would he say? _ Oh, sorry to hear about the time you were tortured. I forgot you existed for several months, but we hugged it out, so please forgive me for my selfishness and I love you. _

Thor stood there, hand held poised, ready to knock. He grimaced. He decided that Loki had gone through too much, and didn’t need a _ third _ reliving of those events. He sighed and walked to his room. He stared at the messy bed, covered in dirty clothes and empty beer cans. He knew he'd made a mess, but his clothes looked like they'd been gone through. Thor sniffed the air and caught a faint smell of sweet, minty vanilla, mixed with a faint hint of pine and ice chips. Loki's scent. Thor knew it well. Why had Loki been going through his clothes?

Too much effort to really consider. Thor was tired. He wiped the empty cans and the clothes off the bed, onto the floor, then laid down on top of the comforter, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

“Thor. Hey, Thor.”

Thor opened one eye and looked into the smiling face of the Ant-Man. Thor sighed and rolled onto his back. He draped his hand over his face to block the painful 40-watt bulbs glaring into his eyes. 

“What do you want?” Thor groaned as he turned and opened his other eye to look at Ant-Man.

“Well, uh,” Ant-Man stuttered. “Tony said to, uh, get the Avengers, ah, assembled in the lab, Mr Thor, sir.”

Thor sat up. He scratched his stomach, stood up, stretched, then rubbed his face.

“Let’s go, then,” he said with as much positivity as he could muster. “Lead on.”

Ant-Man turned and began to almost skip out of the room. Thor followed suit. He glanced across the hall and saw Loki’s door wide open. He wondered where Loki was.

_ Hope he isn't dead again. _

Smiling at that small joke, Thor followed Ant-Man to the lab. He saw a red, silver and gold glove sitting to the table, with all six stones in their place. Steve had his Captain America suit on. Barton had his gear. War Machine had his armour. Stark was still wearing his regular clothes. Banner stood near the glove, apprehension on his face.

Thor glanced at the gauntlet. It seemed not just to radiate power, but to be the ultimate show of power. He gazed at it. With one snap, he could do whatever he wanted.

_ Even erase all the pain Loki felt and bring back Mother. _

Thor wanted that glove. He wanted to fix all that had happened. Besides, as the strongest Avenger, he had to do it. No one else could stand to hold in the power of all six Infinity Stones.

“Who’s gonna do it?” Hawkeye asked. Thor took that as a perfect opportunity to step in.

“I’ll do it.”

That response set off the room. Responses of “no” just went off all over the place.

“What do you mean ‘no?’” Thor asked, astonished. “I am the God of Thunder, the strongest Avenger. Do you know what is coursing through these veins right now?!”

“Cheese whiz?” War Machine scoffed.

Thor turned to the other Avengers, looking for support. 

“Please,” he pleaded to Stark. “Let me do this.”

“I’ll do it,” Banner said. “The radiation coming off of it is mostly gamma. It’s like I was made for this.”

“Friday, activate Lockdown protocol,” Stark said as he tapped the thing on his chest and the armour sprang up over him. Banner grabbed the gauntlet and began to slide it on. As soon as Thor saw the glove sit securely on Banner’s hand, Banner fell to his knees, groaning in pain. The stones sent energy coursing through his arm. Thor could see his veins glow bright with the colours of the Infinity Stones. It was so powerful, it burned away the sleeve of his shirt.

“Banner, you good?” Stark asked.

“Yeah,” Banner groaned. Yelling, Banner rose his fingers to meet. Thor got into a defensive stance and Banner fingers met…

… and all was white.

Thor sat up what seemed like days later. Iron Man was icing down Hulk’s arm, Barton was talking on his cell phone, and Ant-Man was looking out the window. 

“Hey guys,” Ant-Man called. “I think we-”

His words were drowned out by several explosions. Thor felt a massive part of the ceiling cave in next to him. He looked down and saw the earth split. He sighed at that and jumped around, punching and dodging the falling debris. After the explosions stopped, Thor climbed up the remains and looked outside. The entire field, from the lake to the oak tree where he saw the visions. It was all incinerated. Thor watched as a beam descended from the massive ship in the sky. A figure stepped out of the massive blue beam, and Thor felt a rush of anger and fear.

Thanos was back.


	15. Wake Me Up

Loki

_ Is this resistance I detect? Or is it merely your own weakness of mind? _

_ Loki was, in reality, locked up in the cell of the Avengers’ enormous ship, but inside his head, he was somewhere else entirely. The Other, Thanos’ henchman and a truly vile creature, had come to scold him again- at Thanos’ bidding, of course. Loki stood, with the Other leering over him. _

_ I’ve allowed them to imprison me, just as I’ve been commanded. With my manipulation and Thanos’ control over the sceptre, the Avengers will soon tear themselves apart. Where is my resistance? _

_ Your brother Thor is on this ship. If he comes to your cell of glass, Thanos believes you may cave to his words. He sensed your weakness when Thor took you in an attempt to ‘bring you home.’ _

_ Loki swallowed nervously as the Other stepped nearer, but he held his ground. The Other bared his black, pointed teeth. Loki opened his mouth and coldly responded, measured and careful. _

_ And I told him that I don’t have it. I told him I know that I am a king. I told him I remembered the abyss and how he threw me into it. _

_ But the great Thanos could sense it. Your longing… sentimentality and feebleness. You still love him, don’t you? _

_ Loki snarled, shaking his head. _

_ No. I feel NOTHING for that great oaf- _

_ The Other sneered, beginning to circle him. _

_ You are a poor liar for the God of Mischief. I thought Thanos had prepared you better, but your separation from the Tesseract and the sceptre is weakening you again. _

_ Loki squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his mouth. He shook his head again. _

_ I don’t care. _

_ The Other backhanded him across the face, his claws ripping into Loki’s skin so that he staggered, holding his cheek, which had burning cuts dripping with scarlet. He knew it was all in his head, but the visits were never lacking in intensity. Everything felt and was real until Loki was out of it again. He looked back up, eyes watering. _

_ You would do well to remember who made you strong, you foolish boy. Who granted you the power of the sceptre? Who has shown you the truth of the Tesseract which fills your mind? Was it not the great Titan? Was it not Thanos? He has taken your weakness and bent it into power, and yet you still fall back into your sentiments and your tears. _

_ I never asked to be bestowed with this power- you’ve done something to me! You have… you’ve CORRUPTED me and now I can do NOTHING on my own. It is Thanos’ fault if I am weak- _

_ Suddenly, the Other vanished into black smoke, and Thanos himself appeared in the vision as an enormous purple shadow in golden armour, upon a throne that crowned him as the ultimate king, with his great hands curled into fists. Loki fell to his knees immediately, his breaths turned erratic and frightened, and the tears in his eyes fell from shock. _

_ Are you falling from me again? _

_ No- _

_ Remember that I own you. You are mine. You can do nothing, not because I’ve corrupted you, but because you ARE nothing… nothing without me. You are my property, of my own making, and this resistance is only showing you your own worthlessness- your attempts at rebellion are reminding you of what you were before I perfected you. Without me, you would be dead. You would never be king. _

_ Loki turned his face harshly away, trying not to cry as though he were a child. He needed to prove himself. He was worthy. Thanos hadn’t made a mistake when he rescued Loki from his brother and father’s attempt on his life. But then again… _

_ Tentatively, he met the purple glare of Thanos, enormous over him. _

_ But Thor… he didn’t seem to hate me. He hasn’t the wits enough to lie convincingly, and he told me he wanted me home- he said he mourned for me. His imploring seemed undoubtedly genuine. Did he really wish to kill me? _

_ Thanos said nothing, and Loki started to become slowly aware again that his vision was coloured by a blue haze, and there was another presence in his head beside his own. Suspicion and memory began snowballing, and he jumped up from where he’d been kneeling, repulsed. _

_ YOU are the liar. Thor never tried to kill me. You planted that in my mind just as you did with the sceptre- just as you’ve made me do to the Avengers- you HAVE corrupted me! You did something- _

_ You’re imagining things. This is a child’s dream. To fulfil your task, you must let go of your delusions. Come back to me. _

_ Thanos beckoned him nearer, and still, his legs had no other choice but to obey. Loki tried to resist, and the blue faded in and out of his vision, but whatever had happened to him, it was still stronger than Loki’s free will, and he approached the Titan upon his throne. He stood stiffly, leaning as far back from Thanos as he could, but Thanos stretched out his palm towards him and enclosed it over his forehead. _

_ The blue glow became unbearably bright, his head burst with pain, Loki closed his eyes against it, but then it all stopped just as fast. His eyes fluttered open again, and the blue tinge ceased to bother him. It felt normal. He wasn’t in control any longer, but it was fine. That’s how it was meant to be. _

_ And there you are, Loki. Thank you for returning so cooperatively to me. _

_ Loki nodded and relaxed into Thanos’ hold on his head, feeling that power return to him and feeling himself drowning underneath it. His memories were swept away again, all the conflicted brokenness, and peace replaced it. He had been shown truth. Loki just needed to accept it. _

_ You will be restored to your precious sceptre soon enough. I will make sure of it. We can’t have you falling into confusion again, now can we? _

_ Loki shook his head, and the vision faded away to stardust. _

“Get up-  _ wake up-  _ we need to move now-”

Loki jerked up as he came to, his head throbbing. Barton was tugging on his arm with one hand, and gripping the gauntlet Stark had made with the other. His eyes were wide with fear, and he was covered in dust and rubble from the collapsed building.

Loki looked down at himself. He was partially buried underneath burst pipes and concrete, but nothing he couldn’t easily get out of. His armour had protected him from the majority of damage he could have gotten, but, ironically, Loki could feel blood hot on his cheek- the same side the Other had struck him in Loki’s memory.

But in any case, he was in no serious danger and not keen on meeting Thanos, and so, Loki ignored the panicked Barton. He took his time waking up properly before summoning his seidr and lifting the shards of a once impressively large building off of him. Barton was speaking into some communications device as Loki brushed himself off and forced himself to his feet. His wounds began to heal instantly, and he was soon at his full health again.

He took in where they were. It was one, massive, destroyed hallway, with a tilted floor and pitch darkness apart from an eerie red glow that illuminated the whole expanse of the hallway and cast a wary light over them both.

Strange howls and growling noises startled them both, echoing down the hallway along with the scraping sound of several clawed feet running across the ground, getting closer and closer to them.

Barton began backing away slowly. “We’ve gotta move. Run.”

Loki didn’t move. A shudder ran down his spine, and he drew his daggers but stood his ground. He couldn’t see the danger, and he wasn’t going to run until he knew exactly how bad it was.

Barton muttered indiscernibly and drew his bow, coming up next to him and aiming it down the dark corridor. The sounds of the creatures drew nearer, and something familiar struck Loki, but he couldn’t discern what it was. Then, with several loud bangs, the creatures hit the inside of the walls as they rounded the corner, coming at them at full speed.

Barton released two arrows simultaneously, Loki threw a dagger and three of the creatures against the wall, but there were many, many more coming.

“You were right,” Loki said, as mildly as he could. “Run.”

Together, he and Barton began sprinting in the opposite direction, having to launch over and under collapsing walls, more broken pipes, and large mounds of debris that littered the red, darkened hallway. Loki was faster, and Barton was falling behind, so he spared a look over his shoulder to see what they were running from.

He did recognise them. Those creatures. They were Outriders. Adrenaline sparked in his system, and Loki ran faster, slamming into the wall as he sharply turned. He heard Barton shout and do the same behind him.

He was faster. He needed to get ahead. Loki picked up his speed, leaping faster than before, ducking with more agility, and he heard Barton behind him scream in some sort of distress as Loki left him behind.

He rolled his eyes and came to a skidding halt. Loki turned around and got into a ready stance. Barton was still some metres away, and the Outriders were rapidly gaining on him. He didn’t have much time.

Loki’s hands glowed with green light, and he raised them up in front of his face, then threw out his arms. A wave of light flew down the corridor, missing Barton, but launching back an entire wave of those creatures. He’d bought them more time, but not much. They needed to keep running.

Barton finally caught up with him, and Loki took off into a sprint again, hearing the heavy breathing of the Avenger behind him. Barton was slowing down again: Loki could see him getting further and further back as he got more ahead, and there was nothing he could do. He looked behind him, about to yell at him to move faster, when he saw that Barton had drawn his arrow again, and was aiming it at the oncoming Outriders.

“That won’t stop them- you have to move NOW!” Loki shouted, attempting to call him back, but Barton yelled back at him to shut up and loosed his arrow.

Loki watched as the arrow flew, hit one of the creatures, and Barton began to run again as the entire pack of them exploded into a burst of fire and shrapnel. He stared, but then Barton passed him by and yanked on his arm again.

“We still have to move, you know!”

Loki did. He swiftly passed Barton again as they continued to run, the bloodied glow of the hallway flashing like a disoriented nightmare, terrifying enough to keep their legs moving ceaselessly, without ever once stopping down the crumbling hallway, running for so long that it seemed infinite.

Thankfully, by the realms, it wasn’t, and eventually, they came to the safety of a partially standing room.

Loki was gasping for air, certainly, but he was recovering fast. Barton, the mortal bird man he’d once controlled, was doubled over and practically heaving. He scoffed at him, feeling more arrogant than usual, what with tensions so high up and relief embracing him so warmly. Barton straightened himself and frowned deeply, which only made him look older.

Midgardians lived and died so quickly.

Loki tried to restrain his laughter, he really did, but the mohawk was ridiculous and the silly scowl wasn’t helping his case one bit. A little laugh broke free from Loki’s lips, which resulted in the lines on Barton’s face wrinkling downwards with even more severity, which resulted in Loki losing his control completely.

He broke into full-on laughter, clutching his sides and falling against the wall. He pointed a finger at the bird man’s face and descended into hysterics, Barton never once breaking into any hint of a smile.

After a while, he appeared to have had enough. “Are you done?”

“Likely not.” Loki grinned, wiping his eyes and looking around the room again.

Something cracked from behind them. Loki swivelled around and there stood Nebula, a dead, empty look in her eyes. Barton’s brow twitched in what appeared to be potential awareness, but he clearly disregarded it just as fast and held up the Infinity gauntlet.

“Oh, hey.” The archer sighed. “I know you.”

Loki glanced down at his shoulder, and at the gun in Nebula’s hand. The same gun she’d shot him with. She was staring at him as if daring Loki to speak up. But Loki had seen her betraying them, and he had no intentions of being quiet about it. He glowered right back, shivering, freezing cold once again, but his hands licking with green flames of magic.

“Don’t give her anything,” Loki said lowly.

Barton shot him a disgruntled look and ignored him. Nebula extended her arm for the gauntlet and Barton started to give it to her. Loki moved quickly between them, facing Barton in earnest imploration.

Barton tried to manoeuvre around him, but Loki didn’t budge. “Move, I’m giving it to her.”

“No.” Loki grabbed the gauntlet with one hand. “She’s betrayed you. She brought Thanos.”

Barton shoved his chest, pushing him aside. Loki tightened his grip on the gauntlet. Nebula stepped closer.

“Don’t trust him.” She ordered. “Give it to me, now.”

Loki shook his head, trying to pull the gauntlet from Barton, who scowled at him.

“Barton,” He breathed. “You have to trust me. I saw her. She’s a traitor.”

Nebula pointed her gun at him, startling him enough that Barton pulled the gauntlet from Loki’s grasp.

He looked at Loki disbelievingly, and his lip curled bitterly. “Yeah, last time I checked, you were the liar. Not her.”

“No-” Loki protested.

Nebula took the gauntlet into her hands, and her face spread into a wide, twisted smirk. Barton’s eyes widened, and he re-examined Loki, who didn’t give him anything other than anger.

Nebula backed away, her gun now aimed at both of them as she spoke into an earpiece. “Father. I have the stones.”

Barton drew his bow and cursed loudly. “No, no- WHAT?!”

“I TOLD YOU!” Loki roared, gesturing to Nebula, who remained stoic.

“Yeah, well you’re LOKI!” Barton yelled as he pulled his bow tighter.

He threw up his hands angrily. “AND?”

“Stop.”

All three of them froze. Loki felt his jaw drop. Inside the doorway was a woman with green skin and long black hair curled and tipped with magenta. Next to her, was Nebula. Another Nebula- but her eyes didn’t look dead. She looked right, while the Nebula with the gauntlet looked entirely wrong.

Barton whipped his head between the two scenes, bewilderment contorting his features. “You’re betraying us?!”

“Oh, do catch up.” Loki rolled his eyes and pointed at the Nebula with the gauntlet. “That is not the Nebula you know, but  _ she  _ is.”

He nodded towards the Nebula with the other woman. It looked like her sister Gamora, who had been killed by their own father, Thanos. Somehow, past Gamora was in the present with the real Nebula, and past Nebula was teamed up with Thanos. Loki had gotten it worked out, but perhaps he could stand to be a bit more understanding of Barton’s weaker mind.

“You don’t have to do this,” Gamora said, lip trembling as she stepped nearer to her sister.

_ You give up this poisonous dream. _

_ Thor grabbed him by the back of the neck, in a comforting and protective gesture he’d adopted hundreds of years ago and never once ceased doing. Loki felt happy memories piercing his cold, blue ice, and his eyes began to go glassy. Thor shook him, and even his voice was filled with emotions Loki thought the God of Thunder didn’t have. _

_ You come home. _

Nebula’s hand shook as she aimed her gun around the room and started to step away. Her mute expression was cracking. “I  _ am  _ this.”

_ I don’t have it. _

“No, you’re not,” Gamora promised.

The real Nebula put out her arms to her past self, pacifying. “You’ve seen what we become.”

“Nebula, listen to her.” Gamora’s voice was emotional, broken.

Loki fisted a hand in his tangled hair, trying to stop the visions from happening. He didn’t know where they kept coming from or how to control them, but his memories wouldn’t stop haunting him and he  _ still couldn’t stop shaking.  _ He was ice and he was only getting colder.

“You can change.” Nebula told her past self, desperately.

_ You should know that when we’ve fought each other in the past, I’ve done so with a glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there, somewhere. _

_ Loki was sitting on the floor of his cell, everything around him shattered, smashed, and thrown against the walls. The truth of his brokenness was playing out for all to see, and now his brother didn’t care. Thor was hard and imposing, gazing at him with no emotion, no anger, no love- nothing. After he finally saw the truth of Loki breaking, after Frigga was dead, Thor had finally given up on him. _

Past Nebula’s face screwed up, her voice wavered, and she looked about to cry. “He won’t let me.”

Past Nebula clicked the safety off her gun and raised it, aiming it directly over Gamora’s heart. Gamora screamed, and then there was a bang. Past Nebula slid down the wall, a searing hole through her chest, a tear down her cheek, and the stones still cradled in her dead hands.

_ You betray me, and I will kill you. _

The real Nebula slowly lowered her gun, her past self now dead. Gamora covered her hands over her mouth and sobbed, turning away from the sight. She cried her sister’s name and the real Nebula rushed to embrace her in a hug. Both of them had tears streaming down their cheeks. Barton was shaking his head at the scene, stumbling to brace himself against the wall.

Loki grimaced tightly and bent to slowly remove the gauntlet from the corpse, then pass it on to Barton, who took it numbly from him. He looked back at Gamora and Nebula, nodded once, and then together, he and Barton walked out of the rubble, where the sky was black with smoke and ashes, and the battle awaited them.

Loki lowered his head. Things around them had begun to explode. It was nearing the end. Loki was getting colder and colder. He could feel his magic scalding his nerves with rage and fear, but it wasn’t enough to burst forth yet. It wasn’t yet time, because he hadn’t encountered his final tormenter. The one who like a plague and a nightmare had never let him be. He’d broken him and Loki had let it happen, and then, he’d let him break his big brother. Loki had never wanted anyone dead as much as he did him.

Thanos.


	16. The Battle Begins

Thor

Thor stood there. He watched as another person came up to Thanos. The blue girl, Nebula. 

_ Traitor_.

Thor saw as she and Thanos exchanged a few words, then Nebula turned and walked back towards the ruins of the Avengers facility. The anger inside Thor bubbled, and the sky seemed to echo that, as the clouds came and thunder boomed. 

Thor heard the ruins shift behind him. He glanced behind and saw Captain America and Stark come around. Cap was bleeding a bit on the side of his head and Stark’s armour was covered in dust. They walked and stood next to Thor. Thor heard a sharp intake of breath as Cap and Stark saw Thanos.

“What’s he been doing?” Cap asked.

Thor shrugged. “Absolutely nothing.”

Silence fell for a few moments.

“Where are the stones?” Cap asked.

“Somewhere under all this,” Stark gestured out toward the massive amount of rubble. “All I know is that he doesn’t have them.”

“So we keep it that way.”

“You know it’s a trap, right?” Thor said. 

“Yeah,” Stark said as he sighed heavily. “Frankly, don’t much care.”

“Good.”

Thunder clapped once more in the sky. The clouds darkened and covered the ruins of the Avengers facility. Lightning began to emit from Thor’s body. The whoosh of magical Uru metal became louder as both Stormbreaker and Mjoilnr came flying to his hands. A burst of lightning fell down on him, and he felt armour being put on his body. His hair was pulled out of his face and his beard was braided. After the lightning dissipated, Thor stood with his new armour, complete with the red cape, braided beard, and his two favourite weapons. Thor cracked his neck and back. 

“Let’s kill him properly this time.”

.....

All three made their way down the ruins to solid ground. Thor felt the excitement and fear in the air as they got closer to Thanos. He gripped Mjolnir and Stormbreaker tightly. He was ready. He was ready. He was _ ready_. They turned a massive chunk of concrete and they saw him. The Mad Titan himself.

Thanos. He sat there, with a massive, double-sided sword, each side four feet long. In the middle, there was a handle, covered in small bits of dirt, dust and blood. At this moment, it was plunged into the ground, with a helmet resting on top. 

Thor glanced to his left and looked at the men he called his friends and looked at their gear. Cap had his shield tightly held onto his left arm. Stark’s armour was cleaned off, and his face held a determined grimace.

“You couldn’t live with your own failure,” the purple Titan uttered in his deep voice that sent chills down Thor’s spine. Still, Thor pressed onward, still walking towards what was likely to be his death.

“Where did that bring you?” Thanos inquired further. Thor could hear a small, condescending tone to his voice. Still, he moved closer.

“Back to me.”

The team began to split and walk around in an attempt to intimidate Thanos; Stark on the left, Thor on the right, and Cap in the middle. Whatever intimidation they imposed on Thanos, if any, Thanos did not let show. He still sat there, turning a stone in his hand.

“I thought that,” Thanos began. “By eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive.” Thor’s grip got even tighter on his weapons. He saw Stark’s face get a deeper scowl. Cap’s body was rigid.

“But you’ve shown me,” Thanos glanced around and watched as Stark and Thor were surrounding him. “That is impossible.”

“As long as there are those that remember what was,” Thanos continued, his voice becoming deeper and more intense. “There will always be those unable to accept what can be.” Thanos turned to Thor and stared at him. Thor swallowed. “They will resist it.”

“Yep, we’re all kinds of stubborn,” Tony said.

Thanos chuckled slightly. “I’m grateful. Because now I know what I must do.” 

Thanos stood onto his feet. “I am going to shred this universe down to its last atom. And then-” He took his helmet off the blade and placed it onto his head. “-with the stones you’ve collected for me, I will build a new one. Teeming with life.” He pulled the blade out of the ground. Thor’s grip became even tighter. “Life that does not know what has been lost, only what it has been given.”

Thor decided that he had heard enough of Thanos’ speech. He began to summon lightning and they charged the weapons. His eyes glowed blue with power. 

“It’ll be a universe born out of blood,” Captain America said, his hand tightening on his shield.

“They’ll never know,” Thanos smiled. Thor’s knuckles cracked as he gripped even tighter. “Because you won’t be there to tell them.”

Thanos’ smile infuriated Thor. Thor bellowed and charged Thanos. He swung Stormbreaker and it met his blade. Stark came in and swung his iron blade. Thanos kicked Thor into the nearby concrete and swung his blade to knock away Stark. Cap came in for a taste, but Thanos merely swung his blade back and, while it hit Cap’s shield, the impact sent him flying. Thor went to hit Thanos in the ribs, but Thanos smashed Thor into the massive chunk again and Thor saw tiny stars in his eyes.

He blinked and watched as Tony shot at him with his laser beams. He also saw a disc fly by his eyes and bounce off Thanos. Thanos turned, grimaced and began to walk towards Cap. Thor picked up Mjolnir and threw it at Thanos. Just as quickly as Thor threw it, Thanos batted it right back. Cap came back and drove the shield into Thanos’ ribs. Thanos grunted, then grabbed Cap by the head and threw him like a rag doll. Cap hit a large piece of tree, yelled in pain, then remained motionless. 

Stark came and stood in front of Thor. A star-shaped object came out from his back, with a small, blue disk in the centre.

“Okay Thor,” Stark said. “Hit me!”

Thor yelled as he summoned lightning from the sky and himself, channelled it within Stormbreaker and Mjolnir and shot it towards the blue disk on Stark’s back. It seemed to power Stark’s armour, as almost immediately, it was converted from lightning into Stark’s signature laser beams. They formed one big one, aimed at Thanos as his back was turned. 

Too late. Thanos saw the blast and sent his blade up to deflect it. Thor was shocked to see the blade spin rapidly to disperse the energy of the beams. He needed to knock Thanos back for Stark to have a clear shot. Thor decided to hit Mjolnir at Thanos with Stormbreaker. He tossed it up and swung. The hammer went flying through the air.

It was the worst move Thor could have made as Thanos saw the hammer coming towards him, managed to not only deflect the blast but also grab Stark and use him as a human shield, causing Mjolnir to hit him. When the hammer hit Stark, he was sent flying.

Cap had managed to get back up and managed to get a couple of good hits on Thanos. However, Thanos grunted and hit him in the chest, sending him flying through concrete and onto the ground. 

Thanos threw his sword towards Thor, its blades spinning like a helicopter. Thor timed it just right and slid under it. He heard the whistle of the metal go just above his head, then he popped back up and charged Thanos. He raised Stormbreaker above his head, going for the head again. 

However, Thanos’ sword came back just in time and met with Stormbreaker. Thor charged up with lightning and tried to hit Thanos again. He swung one, two, three times. In a panic, Thor threw Stormbreaker. Thanos dodged and threw Thor against a piece of concrete, holding him by his throat. Thor struggled to break free, but then Thanos struck him full-on in the face.

Feeling the heat of blood drip down his face, he saw only a blurry outline of Thanos. Dazed, Thor summoned Stormbreaker to his hand, hoping it might do something, anything. However, Thanos heard the whistle of Stormbreaker coming, grabbed it, and swung it down towards Thor’s chest. Thor grabbed the handle and tried to pull it away from him. Thanos had the upper hand though, and he pushed the axe towards Thor’s chest. Thanos finally smiled as the axe head began to pierce Thor’s armour. Thor winced and tensed up as the blade cut deeper and deeper in. 

Then, something miraculous happened.

Thanos was knocked in the head by Mjolnir. Thor watched as the hammer went out, stopped and flew back to Captain America’s hand. Thor’s body was filled with joy and glee.

“I knew it,” he whispered excitedly. Thanos turned to him, fury in his eyes, and punched him in the face again, making Thor blackout. 

When Thor woke next, he saw portals. Many, many portals. Lots of people were coming through. He saw the people from Wakanda, from Asgard, the Guardians of the Galaxy, the Strange doctor, everyone was there. Captain America stood in the middle of it all.

“AVENGERS!” Cap cried out. Thor pulled himself together and flew towards the mass of people, landing next to Cap. 

“Assemble,” Cap whispered dramatically. 

Thor bellowed and charged towards the massive army that Thanos had summoned. As he flew threw the air, he saw a glimpse of Loki running with Nebula and Barton. Thor smiled, then swung Stormbreaker at the first Outrider he saw.


	17. Big Brother By My Side

Loki

Loki took in the battlefield with awe. From the sky, from the ground, from everywhere, glowing, orange portals were opening up, and an army was flooding out. Barton was still by his side, holding the gauntlet, and Nebula- real Nebula- had joined them. They needed to keep the gauntlet away from Thanos- that was their only goal, and as the Avengers’ army came into existence, Loki hoped avoiding Thanos would be easier. But luck was never on whatever side he was, and the Titan had an army of his own.

Loki set his jaw and his daggers materialised into his hands. He curled his fingers around their hilts, and when both armies let out a roar, in one great battle cry, the sides charged. Loki could feel the pounding of feet vibrating the earth, the low whooshing of the Chitauri and the monsters flying through the sky filled his ears, and the clouds roared and gnashed with a thunderstorm so intense only the God of Thunder could have commanded it to life. Lightning cracked sharply, but above everything and everyone else, Loki distinctly heard the bellowing of his brother, and his lips spread into a smile. Things and people were running, flying past him, and Loki too joined them in the last charge.

As the armies met, the battle cry contorted into clashing screams and yells, as both sides took immediate casualties. Outriders had breached the furthest hill and were snarling at them with gnashing fangs and scraping claws. Loki ran by Barton, procuring and sending daggers whistling through the air at any oncoming attacks. Barton still had the gauntlet, and Loki wasn’t paying to whether or not Nebula was there, but more Avengers seemed to be running towards them, in a similar effort to protect the gauntlet from Thanos at all costs.

Above them, Loki could see Valkyrie flying upon a great Pegasus and the Iron Man shooting laser blasts from his position in the air. Others were flying as well, but Loki hadn’t the time to take them all in, because at that moment, an Outrider leapt from behind a rock and at Barton’s legs.

Loki dove in front, hitting the monster and skidding several feet away, rolling painfully across all the rubble until he finally stopped, the back of his head slamming against the ground. He groaned, his knees coming upwards, his back arching, and his hands raising to throttle at the air above his torso, though ultimately grasping at nothing besides his own pain.

His pained movement, however, was kept at bay by the Outrider, which had landed on top of him and was pinning Loki by his chest to the ground. It growled, quietly, baring its mouth to reveal the sharp sets of teeth, prepared to shred him apart. Its face was mere inches from his own, and it was only a matter of seconds before he was inevitably killed by the neck again.

Reactively, Loki lifted the dagger in his right hand and plunged it through the Outrider’s neck, only slightly wincing when fresh blood littered in a spurt of droplets across his cheek. The creature attempted one last time to snap at Loki’s throat, so he slit the Outriders’ completely, brutally, so that the first and second stab created a fatal combination, and the creature fell as a deadweight on top of him.

Loki dropped his dagger, spat the blood from his lips, and rolled the Outrider off his body. He sat up, panting. The fighting was too insane, and he’d lost Barton amidst the crowd. But it was of little consequence, he was sure of it. Loki knew Barton, with the gauntlet that seemed to magnetise the others towards him, was well protected. The Avengers seemed to have a plan for keeping the stones safe.

Just as he was about to push himself to his feet, two more Outriders appeared, one in front of him, at his feet, and another one snapping its jaws behind him. Loki could feel its breath, the monster was so close. He went stock still, breath bated- waiting.

Any sudden action was sure to be his last, but Loki was clever and he had a small window of time to use it. He could get himself out of this, Loki knew he could, but he needed to think fast, and there was no room for error. He prepared himself, mentally cataloguing the necessary action to move in time to take out both the Outriders, and then-

Mjolnir and Stormbreaker whirred in front of and behind Loki’s head, smashing through the Outriders and sending them crashing to the ground several feet away. The weapons halted after their task was complete, then began spinning to their owner. Loki followed the electricity trailed hammer and axe, all the way back until Thor grabbed them, one in each hand, a proud grin on his face.

“You’re welcome!” Thor shouted to him, as he swung his hammer around to knock out several oncoming enemies.

Loki dusted himself off as he stood, unable to resist a smile of his own. He teleported to Thor in a burst of colour, helping to fight off the swarming creatures that surrounded his brother. Thor frowned in confusion when the Loki he’d been looking at vanished, but his face lit up again once he’d reappeared by his side.

“I didn’t need your help, you know,” Loki informed him, as he used his seidr to create a wall of green magic, which blasted the Outriders back as they hit against it.

Thor, in new armour and with his hair and beard done up, laughed his booming laugh. It was somewhat intimidating as he wielded Mjolnir and Stormbreaker, with lightning crackling and shooting from his body. He slammed Mjolnir to the ground, cracking the earth and tossing away more Outriders.

“You just looked so nervous, brother,” Thor finally replied, pausing for a moment to lift his chin in arrogance. “And it was just so easy to do, and you weren’t doing anything-”

“I was  _ going  _ to do something about it before you got in the way.” Loki sighed and pulled Thor out of the way from a creature that nearly tackled his back, and the God of Thunder looked surprised that he’d been snuck up on by the Outrider. “And you were too busy gloating to do anything about  _ that  _ one, so now, you’re welcome.”

Together, he and Thor spun around so that they were back to back, and they each took their share in destroying masses of would-be threats, although as a team, the battle was less hard-wrought and more entertaining. They were stood upon a hill, of sorts, though it was really a large chunk of concrete from the remaining smithereens of the Avengers complex. The Outriders were onto them as their biggest threat, however, and soon Thor and Loki had drawn all the attention onto themselves, and the monsters were prowling, circling them as they crept up the hill on all sides.

“Thor,” Loki said, twisting his head over his shoulder. “We may need a faster plan of action than this. The Avengers need you.”

Thor turned his head the other way and responded, “I was assuming you had a faster plan of action, Loki.”

“Well, I can’t come up with every idea.” Loki hissed, as he stumbled away from a particularly aggressive creature. Thor caught him and hoisted him upright again. “Besides, these  _ things  _ have been rather occupying me.”

“Fair enough,” Thor grunted, one arm driving Stormbreaker through a skull, and the other smashing another skull with Mjolnir’s dull clang. “But we do need something now.”

Loki wracked his mind, desperately, until- at last- an idea struck him. Like lightning.

_ That’s it. _

“Thor- drop Stormbreaker,” Loki told his older brother, who chuckled again, this time in confusion.

“Loki, what-?”

He elbowed Thor hard in the back, still looking over his shoulder. “Just do it.”

The axe dropped, and it ceased to spark with Thor’s power. Quickly, Loki fended off a few more Outriders then turned to face his brother. Thor hesitated but turned around, too, shaking his head in even more confusion.

“This doesn’t seem like one of your best plans-” Thor complained, gesturing with Mjolnir as the next wave of creatures charged faster towards them.

Loki reached out his hand and gripped it around Thor’s, the one that held Mjolnir. He let the glowing lime colour of his magic begin to glow in his hand, and then, Thor’s lightning began to crackle with more intensity, and the blades of dancing light became both white-blue and emerald green. Understanding dawned on Thor’s face, and Loki nodded at him in reply.

“Thor,” Loki began. “On the count of three.”

Thor nodded at him, too, and his large hand adjusted on Mjolnir’s hilt. “Ready.”

“One.”

“Two.” Thor continued for him.

“Three.”

Together, with Thor’s strength to lead the pull, they raised up Mjolnir, the electricity sparking as the sky churned with dark clouds, and then- they slammed it back into the ground. A wave of energy radiated out, and then, building in momentum and power, Loki’s magic combined with Thor’s lightning and exploded in bursts of light along the earth, striking and destroying every single monster that only moments ago had been advancing upon them. Dirt and rock flew up as the seidr-infused lightning struck, but when the dust cleared away, Thor and Loki stood atop the hill with an enormous radius entirely cleared of any and all enemies.

Loki stared at the battlefield, stunned. “That… that really did it.”

“Not so bad an idea after all, brother.” Thor clapped him on the shoulder, also looking shocked, but significantly readier to be cocky and proud of the waste they’d just lain. “We’ll have to use it again sometime.”

Loki glanced down at Mjolnir, swinging in Thor’s grasp again, his regular lightning having resumed as well as Stormbreaker restored to his other hand. Loki felt proud of him.

He tilted his head towards the rest of the Avengers and Thanos’ army, who were still all fighting a battle to the death. “Go. They need you, brother.”

Thor’s face slightly dropped, and his blue gaze shifted to one of sincerity. “We need you, too, Loki.”

Loki opened his mouth, but no words came out. His brother meant what he said. Loki could see that. And for once, he chose to believe it, too. Not because he could see it, but because Loki trusted Thor. He felt cold still, but somewhere, warmth glowed inside him.

“I’m here,” Loki promised. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Thor beamed, then used Mjolnir to shoot himself through the air, flying through the sky with a lightning storm of fury making his grand entrance as Thor landed back into battle. Loki broke into a run, hearing the noises of fighting growing louder as he got closer, until, when he reached the battle, it was almost deafening.

He didn’t know who or where he was fighting- it was all too fast. All Loki knew was that he was killing anything that tried to kill him first, and his sole focus became to survive. He fought without his seidr as much as was possible, because he’d used up quite a lot of his energy, and strangely, as he felt colder than ever before, he felt weaker, too.

Loki ducked behind a crashed ship, using its wreckage as his temporary sanctuary. He was breathing hard, and Loki had to bend on one knee just to catch his breath. He shivered with more violence. What was happening to him? He’d been wrong since he’d woken up in that room, but he only seemed to be getting worse. Loki pressed his palm against his forehead, his head swimming. He needed to keep it together.

But then, he saw Thanos himself. The Mad Titan, clad in all his golden armour, and he lunged forward to the ground in an effort to retrieve something that had been dropped on the ground. Loki narrowed his eyes to see what it was.

It was the gauntlet. The Infinity Stones had been dropped. Loki launched to his feet and struggled to get there fast enough. His brother was already there, roaring as he rained down on Thanos- but Thor was shoved away. Captain America tried to stop Thanos, too, but all he succeeded in doing was being tossed away and then punched into the ground. He didn’t move after that. Thanos, with a manner of walking that was all too confident, began walking back towards the stones, lying on the ground, innocently contained within the gauntlet that held the power to destroy their entire universe.

Stark- the Iron Man- he tried next to stop Thanos, and though he fought hard, the battle was eventually lost, and he too was knocked aside. Thanos slid the gauntlet over his huge hand, and Loki saw his face leer in triumph. He was too far away, he would be too late, but in that moment, it didn’t matter, and so Loki leapt over rubble and corpses, trying to run ever faster.

A golden, glowing blue suddenly knocked into Thanos, fighting him with more ferocity than any of the others had managed- it was a woman, and she was pulling on the gauntlet with as much strength as she clearly had within her. She ultimately lost her battle when the great Titan used the Power Stone and hit her with it, sending her flying even further away than the others.

Loki knew he was hopeless, yet still, he ran until he came to a halt only metres from his greatest fear. His worst enemy.

“THANOS!” Loki screamed, and the Titan turned to look down on him, calmly.

Thanos came closer to him and bent down, just above Loki’s eye level, so that he still was forced to look up. With the marred, purple face that had tormented him in his visions, his dreams, his thoughts and his heart- with Thanos really there in front of him again, with Thanos having truly killed him five years ago and with everything Thanos had done to him, Loki was afraid again. But he held his ground, and he grit his teeth in defiance.

Thanos’ mouth curved upwards subtly. “I know you. Loki, the God of Mischief. My servant.”

Loki said nothing, but his eyes darted downwards to the gauntlet over Thanos’ hand. Thanos noticed, and he appeared intrigued.

“Do you wish me to take you back?” Thanos asked. “I told you that you were mine. I’m just not sure if you’re worth my while. You always were so weak.”

Loki glowered and shook his head. “You don’t own me. And I could hardly wish to see  _ anyone  _ dead more than you.”

Thanos shook his head and stood up again, turning his attention back to the Infinity Stones he held. Thanos prepared to snap his fingers. Loki attacked, summoning forth his seidr as he cloned himself, casting illusions everywhere to surround Thanos with a hundred clones of himself, striking and disorientating him from every side. Loki vanished and reappeared among his illusions, and when he threw a blade or a blast of magic at Thanos, it hurt because he was real. He switched positions throughout the glimmering illusions of himself, confusing the Mad Titan so that he never knew where the real Loki was, never knew where he’d strike next.

But then, Loki failed to move fast enough after an attack, and a great fist snatched him up by the front of his robes. Loki cried out and his illusions vanished, leaving only him, suspended in the air, with Thanos right in front of his face. In a last-ditch effort, one final wave of anger passed over Loki, and his hands, which scrabbled at the front of his robes in fear, began to glow green. The emerald flames of light travelled up his arms, and it took all of Loki’s energy when his whole body glowed with the green of his seidr, and his eyes shone too with the magic that emanated from him. Trembling, Loki raised his hands in front of him, in front of Thanos, and then, with an explosion and a blast of green light, Loki hit the Titan directly in the face.

Thanos grunted in pain, but he did not drop Loki, and he quickly recovered, likely through the use of the stones again. He laughed softly and tugged Loki even closer as the light left him, and he slumped in Thanos’ hold, colder than before, his teeth chattering, his whole body spasming with fits of ice that pierced his bones like shards of glass.

“I imagine that would have been very impressive,” Thanos told him. “Were you not already dead.”

At Thanos’ words, Loki’s eyes widened, and he looked back up, panicked.

“In that case,” Thanos said, his grip around Loki tightening. “I’ll leave you alive, if only to watch you fade away.”

The Titan dropped Loki at his feet and walked away, turning his eyes to the battlefield. Loki landed on his hands and knees, shivering so hard that he could barely maintain the position, and couldn’t stand any more than that. Thanos had replaced the Power Stone within the gauntlet, and the stones surged with the power as Thanos completed the gauntlet once more.

Stark suddenly came from where he’d fallen, still in his red and gold suit as he punched and kicked at Thanos, wrapping his arms around the gauntlet in an attempt to pull it off. Loki, from his position on the rocks, tried to summon his magic, but nothing happened. He even tried revealing his Jotun form, turning into his Frost Giant self so he could at least do something with that- but nothing happened. His hands only turned blue for a moment before they went back to being pale and Asgardian. Loki could do nothing. He was entirely powerless. What had Thanos meant? He was already dead? Fading?

Thanos knocked Stark back one last time, and the Iron Man lost his final battle. The Great Titan walked forwards in triumph, Loki now crumpled on the ground just behind him. Thanos inhaled slowly, and when he spoke, his deep, rattling voice purred in proud destruction. They had lost. They were all going to die.

“I am,” Thanos said, lowly, as he raised his hand that held the stones, high up for all to see. “Inevitable.”

Loki closed his eyes tightly, squeezing them shut and setting his head down on the cold earth beneath him.

Thanos snapped his fingers.

But it was wrong. Something was wrong.

Loki lifted his head again to the only possible reason, and he was right. Tony Stark was on his knees, and every single Infinity Stone slid into place, the armour of his suit shifting around to make its own gauntlet, as a part of him. When the gauntlet was completed, the colours of the stones burst forth and began climbing up Stark’s arm, weakening him. Stark panted, teeth bared, determination wrought into every feature on his face.

“And I,” Stark breathed. “Am…”

His large, brown eyes danced with the colours of the stones that now shimmered as veins across his face and neck. His eyes watered, tears filling them, which only made the stones’ colours shine brighter. Stark inhaled deeply, then exhaled, steeling himself for the pain.

His fingers snapped. “Iron Man.”

Stark collapsed back against the ruins, and Loki tore his eyes away to look up at Thanos, who still stood above him. He looked around as Thanos, and every single one of his army began to fade, turning into nothing more than clouds of dust that blew away in the wind. Loki forced himself to his feet, standing so that he could behold the sacrifice the Iron Man had just made. It was finished. Thanos was no more, and everything he’d brought with him was gone, too. Stark had done it.

Loki cast his eyes back to Stark, whose glowing emblem on his chest was flickering, weakly. One half of his face and body was charred, and his breath was weakly coming in frail gasps. He was at his end. The soft eyes momentarily caught Loki’s, and they made eye contact. Loki nodded at him and dipped his head, thanking Stark for what he’d done. He hoped he would enter Valhalla, and he hoped he’d be greeted like what he was: a victor.

Stark barely managed to nod back, but he did, and the others began to come over, rushing to the side of the Man of Iron. Loki saw his own knees beginning to shake, and he knew he couldn’t stand for long. Something was certainly wrong with him- something bad was happening. He searched the battlefield desperately for his brother, and as he found Thor, a knee gave out. Loki fell on one knee, groaning.

Thor was smiling, but when he saw Loki, he paused. Loki shook his head, trying to get Thor to focus his worries on Stark- on anything else but him, but then, his insides seized, and Loki clutched his ice-cold heart, gasping in pain. His vision was fading in and out of both darkness and clarity, Loki was trembling so hard it was out of control, and he collapsed fully to the ground. He curled into himself, choking for air, coughing and fighting the urge to retch. Loki pulled his knees to his chest as he shook, his hands over his face. But as his blurring vision focused momentarily, Loki watched as his hands began to go thinner, blackening at the tips and withering until they became skeletal. Loki whimpered as the death began to spread.

_ Already dead. _

_ Fade away. _

_ This is what Thanos meant. _

Ice was in his lungs, his blood- it was everywhere- he was being encased with the cold grip of death and he had nothing to stop it from happening. Loki began to writhe in pain, crying out hoarsely as his whole body convulsed in sheer agony, making him see stars, flashes of colour, of darkness and light, he saw Thor’s face in one last instant- and everything went silent.


	18. All That Ends

Thor

Thor yelled as he went for a large number of Outriders. As he swung his axe, he felt it fly through a pile of ash.

The Outriders were gone. 

Thor turned and looked around at the battlefield. All around, Thanos’ army was disintegrating before his very eyes, disappearing as half the world did five years ago. The massive ships that held his troops crashed into the earth and into a pile of soot. Thor cracked a smile as he turned and saw Thanos, sitting on a rock, fade away into dust. He saw Loki close to Thanos, and his face fell. Loki was clutching his heart and falling to his knees.

Something was wrong.

He bolted over to Loki and grabbed him right before he fell. As he grabbed Loki’s hand, he saw that it was turning skeletal and his hands were frigid. His eyes were rolling back into his head. His armour was beginning to feel looser as the muscle underneath it began to decay. He watched as his brother began to go white and the bones became much more pronounced all over his body.

He was dying. Again.

“Loki,” Thor whispered as tears began to stream down his face. “Don’t leave me.”

Loki went limp.

Thor held his brother close and began to sob. He was dead. This time, for good. What happened? Why did he have to die?

Thor silently cried in confusion and in grief. His hand, resting on Loki’s breast, rose slightly. Thor stared at his hand, his face wide-eyed.

Was he still alive?

“Loki,” Thor whispered again. “Are you there?” No response, but Thor focused on his hand slowly rising and falling. He still had hope. His brother wasn’t dead yet.

_ Fight, brother. Fight. _


	19. Give Me A Chance

Loki

A bright light was glaring behind his eyes, much like when Loki had awoken after being resurrected in Norway’s hills all that time ago. How long had it been since then? Had he died again? Perhaps he’d never been resurrected. Did the dead dream? He shifted, hearing and feeling the soft splashing noise of water beneath him. He didn’t feel wet, although he was lying face-down in it, his head turned to one side and his arms up by his face.

Slowly, Loki opened his eyes. All he saw was white. Endless, pure white. Slightly above him, he saw his hair fanned out upon the strange ground that moved like water, his ebony curls slightly rippling with the surface in his movement, but still, everything was dry. Loki curled his hand into a fist, gazing at it. It didn’t look deadened anymore. It looked restored to its full health, but his plated armour was still soiled with blood, dirt, and dust. He felt out of place in… wherever he was.

Loki coughed, weakly, and pushed himself to his hands and knees, squinting at how bright the empty surroundings were. It wasn’t a room, it wasn’t an area; it was pure space, stretching on to the white abyss of nothing. If he was dead, it looked nothing like Hel or Valhalla. Perhaps he belonged in neither, and this was Loki’s afterlife, caught in the middle of being condemned and worth something. He cautiously rose to his feet and slowly spun around, taking in everything, his footsteps pattering softly along the shimmering surface beneath him.

In the distance, somewhere far away from him, Loki beheld the outline of a figure, the details obscured by the sheer whiteness that enveloped him. He began walking towards the figure, tentatively at first, and then faster as he grasped the concept that he was trapped in an empty world, and this figure, whoever they were, might be his only chance to sort out what had happened. Loki tripped slightly as he came nearer, and began to call out to the figure, the watery ground splashing and echoing loudly throughout the space as he drew closer.

Upon hearing him, the figure began to turn, and as Loki walked forwards, he saw the familiar glint of amber, robes that moved like liquid gold and eyes that pierced with even more intensity. Loki slowed, then froze up altogether as he recognised who it was.

Frigga stood in front of him, her soft blonde curls cascading down her back, and a soft expression creasing at the corners of her eyes. Loki stared back at her, with his own green eyes, momentarily unable to speak. His mother said nothing, but her lips curved into a full smile, warm and full of promise.

Loki shook his head at her, maintaining his distance at just past arm's length. “How… how is this possible? How can I see you?”

Frigga’s look turned to one of sympathy.

Loki swallowed. “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Frigga still remained silent, but after a long hesitation, her eyes downcast in a nod. Something was darkening in his subconscious, and Loki suddenly didn’t trust his mother. She knew something he didn’t.

“How did I die?” Loki asked, hearing his voice shake. “I don’t understand… what happened?”

Frigga met his eyes again, sighed, and folded her hands in front of her robes. “Your father placed an enchantment upon you, Loki. It was set in place so that, if you died before your brother, you would be resurrected when he most needed you.”

Loki’s lips parted. “But it was only ever temporary. That’s why I was so…”

“Cold?” Frigga finished for him, sadly.

Loki started to reply but hesitated. He fixed a hard expression on his mother, and when he spoke, he heard his voice resounding emptily. He knew the answer even before he asked. “Did you know of this before your death, Mother? Everything?”

Frigga’s face twisted ever so slightly downwards, solemnly. “Yes, my son. I did.”

“You lied to me.” Loki accused, flatly, and he stepped back another pace. “You lied.”

In return, Frigga stepped one pace forwards, the surface beneath her radiating out in gentle waves. “Loki. Don’t do this.”

“Why?” He deadpanned, though he still felt hollow inside as he said it, like his anger wasn’t worth really making an effort for.

Frigga replied in a soothing voice, and she started to smile again. “My son, because you have not heard everything you need to hear yet.”

Loki wrapped his arms around himself, tightly, and though he wanted to listen, he stubbornly refused to look up. Frigga, not seeming to mind this, patiently continued.

“I was the one who convinced and aided Odin in laying this enchantment upon you, Loki. You’ve been carrying this enchantment since your infancy, since you were first adopted into Asgard’s kingdom and became one of the Aesir. I always knew that it would be you to fall before your brother did.”

Loki interrupted, his voice low. “How little you must think of me.”

Frigga shook her head at him, sternly. “It is not a matter of thinking less of you, my son. You are the God of Mischief, and your brother the God of Thunder. Apart from your nature, I had suspected Odin’s intentions for you, and I knew from the beginning in what manner you would grow. And as I watched you grow up over these thousands of years, it only reaffirmed me of my beliefs.”

Loki shrugged his shoulders up, attempting for mild, though his vision was clouded over. “What beliefs?”

Frigga tilted her head at him, almost amused. “Let us just say… your elder brother grew with more of a tendency for destruction, while you grew with more of a tendency to be self-destructive. Thor has his inner battles, but they more often than not turned outward. Your inner battles you kept hidden, and you only displayed them when you simply couldn’t contain them any longer.”

He frowned. “Meaning?”

“Your brother has always held you in his heart. Seldom have I seen him turn self-destructive unless it was because of you. But Loki, you drove yourself down your path, and that path of destruction would only ever result in destroying yourself.”

Loki looked away again, and his tears slipped from his eyes. He wiped them hastily from his cheeks, fighting to keep his face from screwing up. His mother was, of course, right. And they both knew that she was.

“Loki, I knew where you would drive yourself. But I also knew where it would drive your brother.” Frigga said, the intent in her voice unmistakable. “Thor loves you very much. He needed you.”

He lifted a brow. “And now I’m dead. So, he doesn’t need me anymore?”

“Thor will make it,” Frigga told him. “But he will miss you very much. Which is why I wanted to give you a choice.”

Loki froze again. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt his eyes widen. “A… a choice?”

Frigga laughed a little, her fingers coming up to touch upon her chest. “I told you to have patience, my son. I felt it was important for you to have this choice: you may come with me, to Valhalla, or you may return to your brother.”

The tears Loki had just wiped from his face sprang up again in his eyes, and they began streaming down his cheeks, in a flow so persistent his hands had no hope of keeping up with hiding the evidence of his sentimentality. Frigga held out her arms to him, and Loki rushed forward, bending to embrace her tightly. He hugged her, unwilling and perhaps unable to let go.

“Thank you,” Loki whispered, burying his hand into her hair.

Frigga whispered back, and he could hear the emotion in his mother’s voice when she spoke. “You and I both know what choice you should make. But remember, my son, I’ll always be here. We’ll meet again someday.”

“I know.” Loki’s voice broke.

Frigga, after a long while, slowly disentangled herself from his embrace, and began walking back slowly, still facing him. She was still smiling at him, and Loki gave her a weak, but genuine smile back.

Frigga pressed her fingertips over her mouth and blew a kiss at him. As she did so, golden and emerald seidr sparkled momentarily in her hand, and Loki furrowed his brows. But then, warmth began to spread, starting at his chest, then flooding through his frigid veins and spreading, all throughout his body until he could feel it glowing within him like the comforting drowsiness of a warm fireplace. Along with this warmth, he felt energy, fresh and alive, as more golden and emerald light spiralled around him, intertwining with his hands, his arms, and through his chest, as that too went inside and became a part of him. Loki felt his seidr restored, magic back in his blood, and more powerful than it ever had been before.

Dazed, he looked down at himself and saw that his armour had undergone a transformation, as well. No longer dirtied by battle, Loki was clothed in his signature black leather, but over it was embellished with intricately designed golden plating, carved with the ancient tree of Asgard, and many other old runes that he recognised as lost incantations of magic. His cape was evergreen, but the inside of it was a bright canary, and the rest of his armour had hints of green and gold throughout. It was beautiful. Loki had never worn anything finer.

Frigga was beginning to fade into the almost blindingly white space, and there was the faint sound of water droplets like rain upon a puddle, but Loki couldn’t see where it was coming from. The ground began to disturb, too, as if thousands of invisible droplets some unseen place were falling, but there was no rain. Frigga lifted her chin, as though Loki were getting harder to see, too.

“I love you, my son.” He heard her say, but she was getting more difficult to hear.

“I love you, too, Mother.” Loki called back.

The sound of rain grew louder and louder, until it was a roaring, deafening downpour, or perhaps a waterfall. Loki could hear nothing over the sound of rushing water, and as Frigga vanished further into the horizon, everything began to turn white, and he had the sensation of falling backwards. His vision grew brighter and brighter, hurting his eyes until everything was entirely white, and as Loki hit the crashing waves of the pearlescent ground, he felt himself plunged underneath. Life filled his lungs, drowning him in its intensity until- he was gone.


	20. Together At The Rising Sun

Thor

Thor rested his hand on Loki’s breast, still watching it weakly go up and down. As he watched Loki’s sheet-white face relax, he noticed something peculiar. A green and amber spiral began to leak from Loki’s rotting hand. It looked like seidr. It began to crawl up his arm, rejuvenating the skin and healing it back to its normal state. It dipped in and out of Loki’s body, causing the armour to be filled in again, as the muscle was gone when Thor had reached Loki. After the seidr had reached his entire body, it sank in and disappeared. As soon as it fully disappeared, Loki gave a shuddering breath and his eyes shot open. Panting, he looked around at his hand, his chest. He felt his face, now full of colour, and Thor noticed that all the little cuts and bruises were gone. Loki finally looked into Thor’s startled, wide-eyed face and rolled his eyes and smirked slightly.

“Brother,” Loki croaked. “Please, stop looking at me like I’m dead… again.”

Thor smiled and tears leaked out of his eyes and fell onto Loki’s face. Loki wiped it away with the slightest bit of disdain and rolled his eyes again. Thor stood and reached down to help Loki up. Loki glanced at the hand, hesitated, then took it. Thor pulled him to his feet and clapped him on the shoulder. Loki wasn’t fully healed, apparently, and almost fell back to the ground. Thor caught him by the collar and noticed something interesting. 

“Loki,” Thor pointed. “Your armour.” The armour, while still black, now had gold threads intertwined through the whole outfit. A golden tree sat on the chest, while ancient white runes were sewn down the sleeves. The cape, once torn and covered with blood and dust, now was as good as new, with the outside an emerald green, the inside, a vibrant yellow. Loki glanced at Thor, with the same, wide-eyed expression, then raised an eyebrow.

“What about it?”

“Nothing,” Thor said quickly. “You look great. Just…” Thor trailed off. He realised that something was going on.

Instead of cheers of celebration or the general buzz of small conversation, there was silence. They were huddled around a piece of rubble. Thor glanced at Loki. Loki stared at what the audience was looking at. Thor walked up behind Captain America and his face fell.

Tony Stark. The Iron Man. He was dead.

His wife was clutching his corpse, which was burned on one side and his eyes were blank. Thor looked down at Tony’s hand and saw the Infinity Stones. 

_ He used the stones. He saved us all. _

Thor felt a surge of gratitude, but grief and sadness buried it. He remembered the time that Stark and he first met. He smiled as he remembered what he said when Thor landed after beating him through a forest.

_ Doth Mother know you weareth her drapes? _

Tears leaked out as he remembered when Stark had tried to lift Mjolnir. When he had almost sacrificed himself twice to save two cities. When he had taken them out to shawarma after New York.

“The shawarma was nice,” Thor whispered. 

“What was that?” Loki whispered back.

“Nothing.”

Now, Stark had given the ultimate sacrifice: his life for the universe. Stark ended up in Valhalla, he was sure of it. He deserved that honour, at the very least. Thor rested his hand on Cap’s shoulder. Cap turned slightly, smiled slightly at the hand, then patted it. Thor smiled. It was the least he could do; to try and comfort his friend. Loki approached him and stood next to him.

“He’s in Valhalla,” he whispered. Thor nodded.

War Machine finally walked over, picked up Stark’s body, then began to walk slowly away from the battlefield and the crowd, with Stark’s wife and the Spiderling closely following behind. Thor looked at Loki.

“Wanna go get something to eat?” Thor asked, clapping Loki on the shoulder again, and this time, Loki only winced slightly.

Loki pondered for a moment, then nodded. “I have a place to go.”

“What is it?” 

“It’s a small place that serves noodle soup and coloured milk tea with fake pearls made from something called ‘tapioca.’”

“Is it good?” Thor began to walk.

“Surprisingly, yes.”

.....

The next few days went by in a blur. The world found out, within hours of his death, that Tony Stark died saving the universe. A massive memorial was held in New York City, with the President flying out and delivering a speech about bravery and courage in this new era in human history. He spoke about how Iron Man had saved the world multiple times, how Tony Stark was a legend and he would always be remembered. 

During this time, Thor arrived on New Asgard with Loki in tow. The Asgardians, when seeing their king in his battle armour and with their Prince returning back from the dead, they were rightfully silent when Thor arrived.

“New Asgard,” Thor said loudly, his voice echoing across the small town. “I would like to apologise and ask your forgiveness for the way I have acted these past five years. I left you all when we were most vulnerable, and decided that the best way to handle my grief was to hide myself.” Thor looked down and kicked a rock in shame. He looked over at Loki, who nodded for him to continue.

“As you all know,” Thor continued. “Iron Man is dead. Thanos is dead. And some of our own people are dead. A lot of death has happened. But with death comes life. And life brings change. I will be a better king to you all.”

Thor grimaced, trying to come up with something more. Unable to do so, he smiled and gave a thumbs-up and a general wave to the New Asgardians. Thor turned his back and began to walk up the hill. 

“How was it?” he asked Loki. Loki’s lips pursed. His mouth opened and closed, obviously lost for words. Finally, he said:

“It was tolerable.”

“I figured it was.”

“You forgot to mention I happened to be alive, though.”

“Ahh, yes. I did forget about that.”

Loki rolled his eyes yet again, folded his arms, and glared at Thor. Thor smiled sheepishly. He turned back to the New Asgardians, still crowded down at the bottom of the hill. 

“OI! BY THE WAY, LOKI IS ALIVE!”

Thor turned back, satisfied. Loki gawked at him. He opened his mouth, held up his finger, closed his mouth, and began to rub his chin. Thor smiled at him.

“Yes?”

“There are more elegant ways to explain the small fact that I am alive.”

“Probably,” Thor agreed. Loki sighed. 

“Oh…” Thor said as he patted himself down. “Come on…”

“What?” 

“I forgot that the funeral is today, and I haven’t changed, nor do I have any nice clothes that fit.”

Loki began to wave his hands in front of Thor, green seidr coming out and surrounding him. As Thor watched, immediately his hoodie and threadbare cloak became a jet-black suit and jacket. The only thing that didn’t change was his Crocs. As he noticed that, he glanced at Loki.

“I thought you would enjoy the air,” Loki said, with a smile breaking out on his face. Thor narrowed his eyes. He came up over the hill and saw the orange panels of the Guardians’ ship. The rabbit stood on the landing platform.

“Oh, now you show up,” he said, with the not-so-subtle hint of frustration in his voice. “We have to hurry in order to make it to the funeral on time.”

The humorous vibe that Thor and Loki had for a bit vanished, replaced with an air of mourning and sadness. They walked in silently. Thor saw Quill leaning against the wall. Quill turned and looked at the new arrivals. When he made eye contact with Thor, he scoffed and walked up towards the cockpit. Thor went and sat down against the ship wall. Loki sat down next to him. The landing platform sealed shut, the muffled sounds of the engines roared as the ship made its way to New York. 

“Remember, Loki?” Thor said suddenly.

“Remember what? Loki replied. 

“You were in this same spot when you first came back. Remember how I was drunk and you were all cold and-”

“Thor,” Loki interrupted.

“Yes?”

“Now is not the time to relive those happy memories. We’ll talk and laugh about it later.”

“Alright,” Thor smiled and leaned his head back on the ship’s wall. As he did so, a wave of exhaustion hit him, causing him to fall into a dreamless sleep.

.....

Thor awoke as the ship landed with a jolt. He inhaled sharply and yawned. As he began to stretch, he stopped as he looked down and saw Loki nuzzled up on him, in deep sleep, long legs curled to his chest. Thor smiled, then rested his arm back on Loki’s shoulder. Loki shifted but remained asleep. Quill and Drax walked by without so much as a glance in their direction, although Quill made a snort of disdain when he was walking down the landing platform. Nebula and the rabbit walked by, dressed in all black. Nebula looked over, smiled a bit, then walked down the platform towards the outside. The rabbit lingered a little longer, then scoffed and walked out.

_ The world can wait. My brother is sleeping. _

Thor stretched his legs and began to fiddle with his fingers. He moved his feet back and forth. He stared at a dent on the other side of the ship’s wall. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Loki poked his head up, his eyes half-open, his cheeks rosy, and his curls a fluffy mess around his head, defying gravity.

“Are we there yet?” Loki murmured drowsily, head tipping a bit.

“Yes,” Thor said quietly. “In fact, we have been here for…” Thor glanced at the clock on the wall of the ship. “Ten minutes.” Thor banged his head on the wall on the ship.

Loki's cheeks went even pinker once he woke up a bit more and appeared to become fully aware of his position. But it was impossible to take it back, and Thor knew he'd never forget this particular moment. His little brother had fallen asleep _on _him. And what's more, Loki had actually _cuddled _him. The God of Mischief was never going to live it down, not for the rest of eternity. Thor would make sure of it.

“You alright, brother?” Loki asked, clearly trying to take the attention off himself.

“I’m fine,” Thor said, rubbing his head and groaning as he stood up and stretched.

Loki followed suit and stretched with him. He snapped his fingers, and his black leather transformed into a suit similar to Thor’s, but he had a black shirt instead of the white one Thor had, and the boots were now polished black dress shoes, completing the elegance that Loki was so known for. Loki cracked his neck and his knuckles- and finally- he fixed his curly hair with the usual gel that slicked it back, taming the wildness. He rolled his eyes, and Loki looked momentarily flustered.

“Ready?” Loki cleared his throat, then turned towards him.

“Ready.”

Thor and Loki walked out, down the platform, and onto Tony Stark’s lakeside house. The large, wooden house was surrounded by a small group of people in black suits. Thor saw Banner, Steve, the rabbit, the Spiderling, as well as a beautiful woman that held onto the side of his arm.

_ The lad’s done well for himself. _

Loki smacked him on the arm gently. He gestured towards the mourners, obviously pointing out that Thor should not focus on the women. Rather, he should focus on the fact that they were there to mourn and remember the death of one of the greatest, bravest men he knew. Thor nodded, then proceeded to walk down to the lakefront. He stood behind the Spiderling and that wonderful lady-friend of his. A door opened behind him. Thor turned, as did the rest of the mourners, and saw Mrs Stark, and a small, adorable girl walk out, carrying what seemed to be a bouquet. As they began to walk, Thor noticed that, in the centre of the bouquet, there was a cube, with what seemed to be an older model of the centrepiece of Stark’s iron armour. Mrs Stark and the child got to the edge of the dock next to the lake, knelt down, and placed the bouquet into the lake. Thor watched it float away. Tears came to his eyes. 

_ It’s really the end. The end of Iron Man. _

Thor looked up and saw the Spiderling silently sobbing into the woman’s shoulder. She was patting and rubbing his head in an attempt to comfort him. A large sniffle came from behind him. Banner was also crying as well. Thor glanced at Loki, who was staring intently on the small bunch of flowers floating away. After all this death, Thor felt incredibly grateful that he was here with him, even if they were in mourning right now. He put his arm around Loki’s shoulder and pulled him in tight. Loki leaned in and patted his hand gently.

_ Thank you for staying alive. _

.....

After the funeral, Thor requested that the Guardians go back to New Asgard. He wanted to spend some time alone with Loki before he left with Guardians to explore the universe. Quill began to object, but the rest of the crew decided that Thor was right; they needed a break after today. A good night’s sleep would do them some good. 

At around three in the morning, they finally got to New Asgard (Quill said he got lost on the way back… three times). Thor walked out of the ship and up onto the hill, Loki right behind him. Once they reached the top, Thor sat down. He patted the grass next to him, gesturing for Loki to sit next to him. Loki did, and when he did, he pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on them. They sat in silence for a bit, listening to the sea crashing into the rocks. 

“So,” Loki said, breaking the silence. “What is the current plan for you?”

“Well,” Thor sniffed, picking up a blade of grass and fiddling with it. “My current plan was to appoint Valkyrie as the new ruler of Asgard, then go with the Guardians and explore the universe.”

“Sounds good,” Loki said, looking away from Thor and back to the small bundle of lights that signified New Asgard’s location. Thor turned and found a dandelion and blew the fluff ball into tiny flowers. 

“What’s your plan?” Thor asked. Loki remained silent. He twiddled his thumbs, then exhaled slowly.

“I… don’t know. I thought I was going to be the next king, but then I mentally decided that I would not enjoy ruling over peasants for the rest of my life, which might end the next day.” He smiled dryly. “So I made up my mind that, instead of living a life of luxury and endless meetings and having whatever my heart desired, I would wander Midgard as a beggar, stealing food and clothes and living a life of poverty.”

Thor pursed his lips. “Loki, did you want to be king?”

“Who, me?” Loki put his hand on his chest, mock offended. “No, whatever made you think that?”

Thor rolled his eyes and smiled slightly. “I was wondering, if you weren’t busy, if you would like to come with me.” Loki raised his eyebrows and glanced at Thor.

“Are you serious?” Loki turned and faced Thor. 

“Of course. I would love for us to journey together into the great-” Thor paused and gestured to the heavens. “Unknown.”

Loki raised his eyebrows again. “Well, that life of a beggar seems to be much more appealing. Maybe I’ll stay here.”

“Loki, do you want to come?”

“Of course I want to come with you, you oblivious-” Loki stopped himself and breathed deeply through his nose. “Yes Thor, I would like to join you in exploring the ‘great unknown,’ as you so poetically call it.”

“Perfect!” Thor smiled. 

Silence fell upon them again.

“I know about you and Thanos,” Thor murmured. That caught Loki’s attention. He sharply turned, his eyes wide.

“What do you know?”

“Enough to know why you didn’t talk about it.”

“What did you think of it when you found out?” Loki whispered, mortified.

“That I still love you. And I want you to come with me, with every fibre of my being.”

Loki turned to Thor, tears at the corners of his eyes. Thor put his arm around Loki’s shoulder, pulled him into a hug and hummed the lullaby that Mother sang to them. As he did so, Loki whispered:

“I love you too, brother.”

Thor smiled a small smile. They sat there, Thor hugging Loki until the sun began to rise up from the horizon.

“Look, brother,” Thor pointed to it. “The sunrise looks beautiful, doesn’t it?”

Loki nodded. “Yes. It does.”

.....

_ I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again. _

_ End _


End file.
